Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Sleep when the baby sleeps, eat when the baby eats, work when the baby works.
  • Probably the worst thing you can do when your wife gives you a disapproving look from across the room for being on your phone is finish typing this.
  • Roses are red. Daisies are white. I’m in a grumpy mood. My underwear is too tight.
  • The Playstation is broken and the child has noticed that I live here too.
  • Multitask? I can barely unitask.
  • I’m looking for a moisturizer to hide the fact that I’ve been tired since 2010.