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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

I don’t fight my demons anymore. We collaborate.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

I like to play this fun game while I clean out the fridge called what is this, how long has it been in here and how do I kill it?

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Someone told me I’ve gained weight. I told them it was for a part in a movie. I’ve never acted in my life. Until that moment.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Sorry I can’t have a pleasant, safe and affordable life, my government said no.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

I could low-key really use a wish right now.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

I’m always in a rush to go home, and do absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had garlic bread?

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

It is only when a mosquito lands on your testicles that you realize there is always a way to solve problems without using violence.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

The kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were pretty dumb if they couldn’t figure out that their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

293 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,562

Funny Quotes Topics

17,616

Funny Quotes Images

15,562

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,257

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Slack:

You used to calm me on my cell phone!

Trending via Slack:

It goes like this: You are born and then you basically do almost everything wrong. Then you die.

Trending via Instagram:

Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money.

Just landed via Instagram:

I don’t drink and drive, but some people drive me to drink.

Just landed via WeChat:

Don’t forget to whine and complain about Monday today.

Spotted on Instagram:

Wanna know a real adult life hack? Don’t tell anyone when you have a day off. Absolutely no one.

Making waves on Threads:

My sleeping pattern ain’t even a pattern anymore, it’s a freestyle that’s on shuffle.

Just landed via Telegram:

Going to IKEA if anyone needs some meatballs.

Just landed via Instagram:

The invention of locks was a key turning point in history.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

The whole “read before you go to bed to get sleepy” thing does not apply to me because I will be up till 5 a.m. if the book is worth it.

Happy to report that “what time is it/time for you to get a watch” is still being used by the youths.

Happy to report that “what time is it/time for you to get a watch” is still being used by the youths.
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Commentary:
Well, it looks like the timeless classic comeback of "what time is it/time for you to get a watch" is still ticking strong among the youths ⌚😂! Who knew that telling time could also tell us so much about Generation Z's sass levels! Keep clockin' those witty retorts, young ones! ⏰🕰️

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on TikTok this month:

Can’t wait for when we’re all in our 80’s and still tweeting.

42 shares on TikTok this month:

You’ll never realize how crazy you really are until you fall in love.

83 shares on WeChat this month:

Social media has given everyone a chance to be heard, and it was a gigantic mistake.

37 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t understand the desire to rock climb. We have stairs for that now. Problem solved.

45 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“Turn down for what?” My ears, fella. My ears.

38 shares on Twitch this month:

Look, babe, I’m sorry. If your fake British accent keeps being this geographically inconsistent, I’m going to have to cancel the medieval roleplay sex.

54 shares on YouTube this month:

Instead of studying, I like to stay on my phone and worry about how I’m going to pass.

75 shares on Slack this month:

Made the mistake of believing what I was told again.

56 shares on Facebook this month:

Called in, “Let’s make this simple. What excuse haven’t I used yet?”

25 shares on TikTok this month:

Some of us better hope Santa doesn’t check social media, because if he does, all we’re getting for Christmas is therapy.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The police said I was a ‘suspect’, but I prefer being called a ‘person of interest’.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand how people use plastic wrap successfully.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

You look like something I drew with my left hand.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember when we were kids and did everything we could to grow up? We were so stupid!

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Do men know they don’t have to keep their clothing until it disintegrates?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Eating healthy requires a second job.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I dreamed I won the lottery, so you can imagine how thrilled I was to wake up and get ready for work.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Foreplay is great, I particularly like the part where I peel them, chop them into pieces, then roast them in the oven until they’re all crispy and delicious.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My goal for this year is just to make sure the aliens know I’m on their side.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Boyfriends come and go… reply guys stay forever. Against your will, even.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

293 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,562

Funny Quotes Topics

17,616

Funny Quotes Images

15,562

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,423

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Proudly doing my part to cause the male loneliness epidemic.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

If your problem can’t be fixed by coffee, tequila or sex then I’m out of advice.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Nobody is doing it like me because this is probably not the right way to do it.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Do you think birds, once they get older, start people-watching?

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Sorry, I can’t talk right now. The seam of my sock feels weird.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

I’m in favor of sticking an “out of order” sign on some people’s foreheads. As a warning.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

I love how my brain is like, “We’re not going to think about that,” and then thinks about only that.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

I wish the homes of all my friends were connected to mine by secret underground tunnels.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Dear music, thanks!

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

The difference between the Olympic village and a normal village is that not everyone in the Olympic village is related to each other.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Due to personal reasons, I’m evil now.

Making waves on Telegram:

If you’re a squatter, every day is leg day.

Spotted on Telegram:

I’m not gaining weight, I’m retaining candy.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

If you’re not getting spoiled, then spoil yourself.

Shared recently on Discord:

Happy to report that “what time is it/time for you to get a watch” is still being used by the youths.

Spotted on TikTok:

Lately, when I meet new people, I ask them what their hobbies are instead of what they do for work, and let me tell you, the conversations have been absolutely top tier!

Making waves on WhatsApp:

“It could be drugs,” I tell myself as I buy more books.

Just shared via X:

Relationships are actually easy when you’re not dating a lying weirdo.

Spotted on Facebook:

Everyone should be more grateful for what I don’t say.

Spotted on Facebook:

Airport beer at 6 a.m.? No problem. The airport is a lawless place that is free from judgment.

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