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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

My grandad fought Germans on the beaches of Normandy. This was last summer and it was very embarrassing.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

They should invent a body that doesn’t keep the score.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

How coked up was the guy that came up with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Apparently, telling your friends not to stress about their wedding because “it’s your first marriage” is not the right thing to say.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

We could all be hibernating right now but noooooo we have to be “adults” with “responsibilities”.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Some people call me crazy. I prefer the term happy with a twist.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Text a co-worker at a random time “are you joining this meeting?” as a fun holiday prank.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Why is it cute when a baby falls asleep clutching a bottle. Yet, when I do it, it’s “concerning”?

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

The only person I ever call is my wife, and that’s just when we’re trying to find her phone.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

My running speed is very slow because the Discman wasn’t allowed to shake in the past.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

789 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,951

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,951

37 minutes ago

3,423

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Adding “but that’s just me” after giving the absolute worst advice to a coworker.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

When I hear the word “horror”, the first thing I think of is bills, not Halloween.

Seen just now on Discord:

Awesome that January is over, but rude that our reward for getting through it is February.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

When a door closes in life, sometimes it’s better to grab a hammer and nails and make sure the damn thing stays shut.

Reported on Twitch:

Always be kind. You never know who might own a hot tub.

Live now on Snapchat:

12 people have been to the moon and only 8 people have won Takeshi’s Castle. Really makes you think.

Trending via Reddit:

ChatGPT’s primary use is to generate plausible excuses to leave dinner at the in-laws’.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Work meetings would be a lot more fun if they took place in a giant IKEA ball pit.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

If overthinking burned calories, I’d never need to exercise again.

Just landed via Instagram:

You cannot trust me at a zoo because I’ll release the animals.

Happy to report that “what time is it/time for you to get a watch” is still being used by the youths.

6 months ago

Happy to report that “what time is it/time for you to get a watch” is still being used by the youths.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, it looks like the timeless classic comeback of "what time is it/time for you to get a watch" is still ticking strong among the youths ⌚😂! Who knew that telling time could also tell us so much about Generation Z's sass levels! Keep clockin' those witty retorts, young ones! ⏰🕰️

being, communication, happy, humor, report, slang, still, time, used, watch, youth

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

789 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,951

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,951

37 minutes ago

3,436

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Fall in love? I can barely fall asleep.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

I wish I could have a kid just to see what it looks like… and then put it back.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Whoever said “out of sight out of mind” never lost a spider in the bedroom.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Milking stools only have three legs, because the cow has the udder.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

My favorite things about Twitter are that everything you read is true, everyone is nice, and all intentions are pure of heart.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

My favorite emails are the ones that say your order has shipped.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Diet Coke is just a fridge cigarette.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Petition to lower the retirement age. I’m tired now.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Where do you see yourself five beers from now? What’s your five-beer plan?

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

Wolves should really raise more people.

Making waves on Twitch:

As you get older you become all of the seven dwarfs.

Just landed via Threads:

When someone asks me why I’m leaving the party early, I say “I’m late for an appointment with my pajamas.”

Breaking via LinkedIn:

The first person to throw out bath water: Uh oh.

Spotted on Slack:

If you take a social media sabbatical, don’t announce it. Just make your last post something fun like “I wonder if there’s a bear in this cave?”

Going viral on Twitch:

When two people argue online I believe whoever spells correctly.

Just landed via Twitch:

Hair is washed. I am finally lovable and capable of loving again.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Love is in the air, but so is the flu. Wash your hands!

Going viral on Snapchat:

Soccer: I love when they hold up the sign and a brand new, beautiful boy takes the place of a dirty, sweaty, ruined one.

Going viral on Facebook:

If you order a pizza with veggies on it, you can tell people you had a salad.

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