Trendy Funny Quotes

  • My wife and I always eat dinner as fast as possible so we can have a popsicle.
  • Sometimes I tell myself I should stop drinking so much, but I’m not about to listen to a drunk who’s talking to himself.
  • I wonder if it’s possible to swim from one end to the other in a pool filled with mashed potatoes.
  • I pretend I don’t care about stuff, but that’s only because I have no idea what’s going on around me at any given time.
  • A really good magician could be living in your house and you would never know.
  • Just another day of not being hot and rich.