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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡¨ has downloaded:

Addicted to eating one gigantic meal a day like a reptile.

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡Ό has bookmarked:

30s: Oh look, a dance floor! 50s: Oh look, a couch!

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡± has shared:

I am cassette tape years old.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡³ has downloaded:

Almonds are a scam. They are wood. You are eating wood.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡― has shared:

It’s okay to run away from the cops if you’re shy.

Someone from πŸ‡ΏπŸ‡¦ has bookmarked:

I don’t even know what the Transformers are fighting about, to be honest.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡Ί has shared:

Keeping my mouth shut is usually not enough to avoid an argument with my husband. I also have to deactivate the subtitle function on my face.

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡Ό has copied:

Tupperware is filing for bankruptcy. They would have kept a lid on the news but they couldn’t find one.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡ͺ has copied:

A little time spent not acting your age is never a bad thing.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡½ has bookmarked:

Whoever’s been in charge of the weather for the last few weeks seems to have fallen asleep on the couch with the remote control in their hand.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,628

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Going bananas on Slack:

Bought an eggplant, imma grow my own eggs.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Whenever a study shows excessive screen time causes brain damage I’m like “yeah, me know”.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Why can’t I cry money instead of tears?

Going viral on Threads:

Parents will discover a movie on Netflix that you can’t even imagine.

Just shared via Threads:

Sorry you thought I I was flirting with you; I had something in my eye.

Going bananas on X:

Who is praying on my downfall right now and can you stop?

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Put my too-weak notice in at the gym.

Spotted on Facebook:

The fine art of sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong.

Shared recently on Discord:

Imagine how loud a centipede would be if they wore tiny little flip flops.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Why there is always a kid crying when I go to the store? Dude, you aren’t the one paying for it. Stop!

I am thinking of watching a movie with my boyfriend. Can anyone recommend a good boyfriend?

Witty joke about searching for the perfect boyfriend, playful and humorous text.
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Commentary:
"Seeking recommendations for a good boyfriend to watch movies with? 🍿πŸŽ₯ Remember, no refunds or exchanges once you've pressed play! πŸ˜‚ #BoyfriendHunt"

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Keep the laugh going πŸ˜‚

Trending Funny Quotes πŸ‘‡

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on Threads this month:

Girls will be like β€œit’s fine” and then go and curse your whole bloodline.

91 shares on TikTok this month:

Just once I’d like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal.

84 shares on X this month:

If you call me from a private number, I’ll respect your privacy and won’t answer.

22 shares on Reddit this month:

Sunday night: Super Bowl party! Monday morning: Toilet Bowl party!

58 shares on Slack this month:

You either die a people pleaser, or live long enough to start leaving texts on read.

34 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Taking a sip of beer and letting out a big β€œahhhh” so the pregnant lady at the pool next to me knows what she’s missing.

39 shares on Messenger this month:

To horses, hay is considered both a bed and breakfast.

33 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Spotify Wrapped has a special talent for pulling up an artist I’ve literally never heard of and telling me I actually listen to them 2,000 times per day.

74 shares on Discord this month:

I know stretching every day will help me, but I don’t want to do it.

88 shares on Slack this month:

A baby cow is called a calf because it’s half a cow. Half cow. Calf. No further questions.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Can y’all just post your therapist’s advice in the comments so I don’t have to go?

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’m not easily offended, but I am easily annoyed.

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I appreciate the people that interact with me and I really appreciate the ones that don’t.

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I only have one wish in life… For all my dreams to come true.

10 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

May you heal from that fanfic that never got updated.

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

The adult in the room just addressed the elephant in the room.

14 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Relationship so bad you start relating to Taylor Swift songs.

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I don’t simply want to kill a mosquito; I want to bite them back over and over to make them itch.

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Not to brag but there are so many movies out there that have watched me sleep.

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Forget being the bigger person, I’m going to just start barking at people.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,644

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡² has copied:

Objection your honor, if the prosecutor doesn’t have anything nice to say then he shouldn’t say anything at all.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡¨ has viewed:

It’s like 10,000 yawns when all you need is a nap.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡¦ has downloaded:

“Life is a marathon, not a sprint.” Cool, I dislike both of those things.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡­ has viewed:

The theory that two stacked beds can’t be converted into two regular beds has been debunked.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡΄ has bookmarked:

Self-help books are brain rot. Return to fiction.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡¬ has shared:

Have to write a note to my kid’s first grade teacher, and now I’m stressed out about my handwriting.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡Ή has viewed:

First responders? You mean reply guys?

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡­ has downloaded:

I see 1000 girls. I know 100 girls. I talk to 10 girls. I love 1 girl. And she doesn’t love me back.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ύ has bookmarked:

Behold the majestic elephant in its natural habitat, the room.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡² has bookmarked:

Everything feels like thinking the stripper actually likes you.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Making waves on YouTube:

I’m only an introvert until I meet people worth extroverting with.

Just shared via X:

At the dispensary asking which strain will stop the yearning.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Addicted to bad posture. Omggg, why is it so comfortable to give yourself scoliosis?

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

“Jump to Recipe” is the closest we’ll ever get to teleportation.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I do believe TikTok saves the funniest videos for late at night. There’s no way.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I see no action figures, puzzles, or board games. I thought you said you wanted to play with me.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Starting tomorrow whatever life throws at me, I’m ducking so it hits someone else.

Seen just now on Facebook:

So many people these days are too judgmental. I can tell just by looking at them.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I’m already cold. I know me and my low iron ain’t gonna survive winter.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Millionaires and multi-billion dollar companies be like, “We’re doing our part by asking the poor to donate to the poor.”

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