Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Congratulations on landing the job! Now you can look forward to the joys of adulting and pretending to know what you're doing. Good luck, and may the coffee be strong and the meetings short! ☕️💼😅"

application, expectations, humor, i, irony, job, responsibility, surprise, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My neighbor won’t stop talking about his Rolex and I can’t believe someone stole it tomorrow.

1 month ago
believe, humor, i, neighbor, Rolex, someone, stole, stop, talking, tomorrow
The male urge to tell you what business used to be located there back in his day.

1 month ago
back, business, conversation, day, ego, humor, male, nostalgia, storytelling, tell, urge, used
People who can fall asleep quickly freak me out… I mean, don’t they have thoughts?

1 month ago
asleep, fall, freak, humor, i, me, mean, people, quick, relax, sleep, thoughts
We should start referring to age as “levels.” So when you’re level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person.

1 month ago
age, cool, game, humor, just, level, older, older person, person, perspective, start, video, video game
If anyone wants a more cost effective energy provider, I can supply endless energy on tap from my absolutely not tired child at bedtime.

2 months ago
bedtime, child, cost, cost effective, effective, endless, endless energy, energy, humor, i, parenting, supply, tired
I can relate to God because it also takes me a full week to finish something that still kind of sucks.

1 month ago
finish, full, God, humor, i, kind, me, procrastination, relate, self-deprecation, something, still, sucks, week

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

I wanna be a villain so I can just saunter everywhere. The heroes are always sprinting, always running. You ever seen Darth Vader run? Hell no. And I ain’t about to either.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Every guy wants to be called Daddy till that test comes back positive.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Putting away the Christmas tree. Sad day for cats.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Sorry if my posts have any typos, it’s because I’m driving.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Love it when you say or do some common sense thing and the other person has “file not found” written all over their face.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

You don’t know a person until you’ve seen them eat popcorn.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

Every morning I regret why I didn’t sleep earlier the night before.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

I’m so sick of TV shows and movies where there are no likable characters. I don’t need to spend an hour with people I hate, I already have my life.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

What career is most compatible with the unemployed lifestyle?

Going viral on Telegram:

Don’t let anyone treat you like a red flag, you’re the whole damn red carpet, baby.

Making waves on Discord:

Sucks how every girl I’m interested in is either taken or has good taste in men.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Whether you rip off a bandaid quickly or slowly, I find it’s best to ask the wearer’s permission first.

Going viral on Pinterest:

If I ever say “with all due respect”, please understand that there is none.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I applied for a job and got it, and now I really have to go there. Crap!

My neighbor won’t stop talking about his Rolex and I can’t believe someone stole it tomorrow.

The male urge to tell you what business used to be located there back in his day.

People who can fall asleep quickly freak me out… I mean, don’t they have thoughts?

We should start referring to age as “levels.” So when you’re level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person.

If anyone wants a more cost effective energy provider, I can supply endless energy on tap from my absolutely not tired child at bedtime.

I can relate to God because it also takes me a full week to finish something that still kind of sucks.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I am listening to Pharrell Williams’ smash hit song “Happy,” and understanding for the first time that it was truly intended to distress.

Skin coloured leggings should be illegal.

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean that it ain’t gonna be a hell of a lot of fun.

Japan’s greatest tragedy is having the world’s best toilets and no Mexican food. What’s the point of owning a Ferrari if you never take it to the track?

Pretty sure the best place to hide a dead body is in a new tab you opened to read later.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Ozzy Osbourne has mumbled through entire sentences, and I still understood him better than most of my exes.

I hate that I present as an independent woman who doesn’t need any help. It’s a facade. Help me.

I tried explaining crypto to my nine-year-old, and she said, “It sounds like someone is trying to sell you their imaginary friend.”

The bowling ball actually hangs out with the pins after work. There isn’t beef there.

You’re the human embodiment of an “ugh.”

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Don’t let anyone treat you like pond water. You are Fiji water, okay?

If your first child is uncomplicated, then it’s a trick of nature to get you to have a second child. The second will be an unpredictable bundle of energy that seems to get by without sleep.

I asked Tom Hanks for his autograph, but all he wrote was thanks.

I’m going to be real with you. My dinners lately are just sort of me throwing things into a pot like a witch in a cartoon.

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, spreading goat cheese on a bagel.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

My lawyer dropped his briefcase and nunchuks fell out.

My dentist said my teeth were stained and asked if I smoke or drink coffee? I said, “I drink it.”

The smaller the woman, the bigger the attitude. It’s science.

I love people who refuse to follow the crowd. The crowd is always lost, follow your inner compass.

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏

Activity Log ✨

I applied for a job and got it, and now I really have to go there. Crap!

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My neighbor won’t stop talking about his Rolex and I can’t believe someone stole it tomorrow.

The male urge to tell you what business used to be located there back in his day.

People who can fall asleep quickly freak me out… I mean, don’t they have thoughts?

We should start referring to age as “levels.” So when you’re level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person.

If anyone wants a more cost effective energy provider, I can supply endless energy on tap from my absolutely not tired child at bedtime.

I can relate to God because it also takes me a full week to finish something that still kind of sucks.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏