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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

I like to minimize the disappointment by being myself right from the start.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Not having to bring my backpack to the last day of elementary school was the last time I truly felt free.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Hey girl, are you a cigarette? Because I like cigarettes.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

The moon landing was faked. They actually went to Mars, and I can prove it.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I’m never sending you nudes again.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

The quickest way to double your money is to hold it in front of a mirror.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Life hack: Allow yourself 8–12 hours of alone time every morning to prepare for the day.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

You ever notice how fans of the worst music always focus on the meanings of the songs instead of the actual music?

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

No one told me adulthood would require this much multi-factor authentication.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m not talking to my husband and I don’t think he even knows it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,734

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

First World War. Kind of nervous.

Trending via Pinterest:

If you take a social media sabbatical, don’t announce it. Just make your last post something fun like “I wonder if there’s a bear in this cave?”

Trending via X:

I love when my husband says, “correct me if I’m wrong,” like I would pass up that opportunity.

Breaking via TikTok:

Hotel elevators are hell for those of us who are small-talk failures. The guy asked me, “You just get in today too?” and I said, “Well, no,” then stood in silence.

Live now on Messenger:

And where did Mr. Pepper receive his degree from exactly?

Going viral on Slack:

We do it every night. Annoy each other.

Seen just now on WeChat:

According to my skin, hair, lips, and hands, I am doing Dry January.

Live now on Threads:

Getting real tired of my own bullshit.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

If I had money, my life would be pretty much the same, but my dogs would destroy much nicer stuff.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I wish I was as tired in bed at night as I am after lunch at work.

I bet when you invited me to Thanksgiving dinner you didn’t think I’d stay this long.

Funny quote about surprisingly overstaying Thanksgiving dinner. Playful and witty text.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like I took the phrase 'stay for dinner' a little too literally! 🦃🍽️ Who knew I'd become your unexpected houseguest extraordinaire?😄 #ThanksgivingForever"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on TikTok this month:

I probably think this song is about me.

85 shares on Instagram this month:

Mambo No. 5, but it’s in a minor key, and I’m naming women who didn’t text me back.

66 shares on WhatsApp this month:

There’s a reason we say cheese and not salad when we have to smile for a photo.

57 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Clicked on ‘Make a reservation’ on a restaurant’s page, and it opened FaceTime and started calling them. I cannot stress enough how much I do not want that to happen.

26 shares on Instagram this month:

Even Hotmail is hotter than me.

85 shares on LinkedIn this month:

At this point, if you buy Tesla, everyone is just going to assume you are a loser.

79 shares on Reddit this month:

The fact it costs $15 to get a basic meal at a fast-food restaurant now is comical.

93 shares on Snapchat this month:

Before the internet, people thought that there was only one idiot per town. We were so wrong.

90 shares on YouTube this month:

I never argue, I just explain why I’m right.

90 shares on Reddit this month:

Cursing after hitting oneself can reduce the pain by up to 50%.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder how many different vegetables they exploded before they discovered popcorn.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Glasses don’t make you look smart, everyone knows you had to fail a test to get them.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Back in my day there was so much toilet paper and so much eggs that we gathered at night and threw them at the houses of our enemies.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s literally no law that says you can’t put your friends down as your references and pretend they were your boss at an old job. Literally, there’s no law that says that.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Give yourself time to heal. A couple of decades should do it.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Less is more, unless it’s kindness, sleep, or toilet paper.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

People who wear jeans for fun around their house have bodies buried in their backyard.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve been doing Dry January, but it’s literally just been my lips and skin.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Candy cigarettes really used to be a thing and we really bought them and walked around like we were smokers at the tender age of 6.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

When I was a kid, I never expected the future to suck this much.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,435

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Trying to carry a pet to bed is like moving a dense liquid that’s annoyed by you.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

I won’t rest until a cure for insomnia is found.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

I’ve got the longest to-do list for today, just need to figure out who is going to do it.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

I bet God still calls it Twitter.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Don’t forget to brush your teeth, comb your hair, cleanse your face, and share my posts.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

The concept of warding off vampires with crosses is so interesting to me. I wonder if it applies to any other religion or if they’re allergic to just Catholicism.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Imagine you get to the gates of heaven and they make you download an app to go in.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Nostalgia is mostly dumb nonsense, but movie rental stores were legitimately better than streaming.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Being a goldfish must be brilliant. Every six seconds you’re pleasantly surprised to find that you live in a castle.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

The Bachelor is like “Meet Savannah from Brooklyn, Madison from Savannah, Brooklyn from Madison”

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

Festival is when you pay a fortune to live like a homeless person.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

The plan was simple: finish school, find a job and get married at 25. But now I don’t understand anything anymore.

Just shared via Snapchat:

My secret talent is turning any situation into a considerably more awkward one.

Breaking via Discord:

(guy who’s not even that into you) I love you.

Just shared via Threads:

Starting to think I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

Going bananas on Discord:

Two mysterious people live in my house. “Somebody” and “Nobody.” Somebody did it and nobody knows who.

Just landed via Telegram:

I was having a great Friday until I found out it was Thursday.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Do crabs underwater think that fishes fly?

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Nosferatu implies the existence of a Yesferatu.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

You feel me? Bro, I haven’t felt anything since the Scholastic Book Fair.

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