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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe, Eat cake.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Before I drink, I eat liver so the liquor won’t know which liver to attack.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Adulthood is just always being tired and wondering how you hurt your back.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

I told the trees what you did. Be wary when you enter the forest next.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Adulthood is basically just trying to fall asleep at night and stay awake during the day.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

I hate when I’m typing away, expecting autocorrect to have my back, and I look down and just see awjdbdmkskan.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Good friends don’t let their friends do stupid things alone.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

The possibility of monsters residing underneath your bed is negated when the mattress is positioned on the floor.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Christmas combines two things I love the most, getting fat and lying to children.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

I bet when you invited me to Thanksgiving dinner you didn’t think I’d stay this long.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

4 hours ago

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

If she says “you are my world” remember there are other planets. Stay alert, kings!

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Unfortunately, I’m gonna have to cancel my appointment at a sperm bank. I will just call them and say I can’t come.

Going viral on WeChat:

One day my kids will move out and discover the dishes don’t clean themselves and I feel for them. I really do.

Just landed via Threads:

Valentine’s Day this week. If you have a crush on me we still have time to get cards and shave.

Going viral on Slack:

Anytime I switch deodorants, it’s like a sexy stranger is following me around all day.

Making waves on Threads:

The gothic urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a terrifying backstory.

Spotted on X:

Many greetings from my coffee. Y’all are talking too much again.

Shared recently on Instagram:

There’s two sides to every story, and then there’s these screenshots I got.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

The lion does not concern himself with the few small drops of pee that got on his boxers at the urinal even after he did a few shakes to be sure.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Why can’t men just call you pretty without wording it uncomfortably?

I can’t finish cleaning up my room because I get distracted by all of the cool stuff I find.

5 months ago

I can’t finish cleaning up my room because I get distracted by all of the cool stuff I find.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal struggle of every room-cleaning enthusiast: battling the distractions of cool stuff! Who knew that cleaning could lead to such adventurous discoveries? It's like a treasure hunt, except the treasure is buried under piles of laundry and old magazines."

cleaning, cool, cool stuff, distraction, organization, procrastination, room, stuff

Response

StarlightScribe32

Feb 25, 2025

Oh, I feel this on a spiritual level! 😂 The same thing happens when I try to clean my computer files. One minute I’m deleting old data, the next I’m laughing at memes from 2010! 🙈🤣 Really, it’s less ‘spring cleaning’ more ‘spring reminiscing’. 🌸🤷‍♂️

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

4 hours ago

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

My toxic trait is consistently cutting off the resealable part of the bag of frozen vegetables.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

If a woman says “Do what you want!”, then for God’s sake don’t do what you want!

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

I get it, sauce, I also thicken over time.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Having a nicotine addiction is basically just adding a new base layer to Maslow’s hierarchy for no reason.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

If I’m ever murdered, feel comfort in knowing I ran my mouth until the bitter end.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

A hacker called me and said he had all my passwords. I got a pen and paper and said ‘Thank God for that, what are they?’

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

I’m just here to make you wish I wasn’t.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

If it weren’t for this whole job thingy that pays me money, I’d become a professional nap taker.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

We can put a man on the moon but we can’t find a good way to drink wine from a lying down position.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Flex on your kids by asking “are we there yet?” before they do.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

All our dogs think we quit our jobs to spend more time with them. All our cats think we got fired for being lazy.

Shared recently on Slack:

Most people don’t listen at all, they just wait until they can continue talking.

Live now on Discord:

Flossed the day before a dentist appointment like I was cramming for a history test.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I feel like an adult spelling bee would humble a lot of us.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Guns N’ Roses: “Welcome to the jungle!” The jungle: “No more humans, please!”

Trending via WhatsApp:

We are gathered here today because our ancestors didn’t have condoms.

Live now on Instagram:

The eyes are the windows to the soul. A mustache is the front garden, and the mouth is that big pothole the council should do something about.

Going viral on X:

Sure, I’m uncomfortable, but only in situations.

Going viral on Threads:

My favorite part of leaving the house is looking forward to going home.

Making waves on X:

We are both insane on the web, I think we can make it work.

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