I don’t know how to mop my kitchen floor without pretending l’m cleaning up a gruesome crime scene.

Commentary:
β€œWho needs a detective when you’ve got a mop and a vivid imagination? πŸ•΅οΈβ€β™‚οΈπŸ’¦ Just remember, the only mystery here is whether you’ll finish cleaning or get too caught up in your crime scene reenactment! πŸ”πŸ˜‚ #CleaningChronicles”

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Trending Funny Quotes πŸ‘‡

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    Why dread when you can dance? Saw stepping on toes with those deadly traps! πŸ•ΊπŸ”ͺπŸ’ƒ #FootlooseAndFearful

  • My kids couldn’t care less about personal hygiene unless we are running late somewhere.

    Commentary:
    β€œApparently, my children have a secret agreement with Time itself – the more rushed we are, the more interested they become in personal hygiene πŸ•’πŸšΏ #RunningLateStruggles #ParentingLife”

  • Commentary:
    🀣 Oh, the audacity of teens these days! Asking for noise-cancelling headphones as if it’s a present for you to enjoy uninterrupted peace and quiet from their constant chatter. πŸŽ§πŸ™‰ Good luck trying to upgrade the art of ignoring your parents, kiddo!

  • I pretend I don’t care about stuff, but that’s only because I have no idea what’s going on around me at any given time.

    Commentary:
    β€œWho needs to care about stuff when you’re blissfully unaware of everything happening around you? πŸ€·β€β™‚οΈ Living in a perpetual state of cluelessness – the ultimate zen mode! πŸ§˜β€β™€οΈ #IgnoranceIsBliss”

  • I bet aliens lock their door when they go past earth.

    Commentary:
    β€œCan you blame them? Earth can be quite the sketchy neighborhood! πŸ‘½πŸ”’ #SafetyFirst”

  • Commentary:
    β€œDear God, thank you for the job, but just in case you’re feeling extra generous… I’m here, waiting with open arms and a winning ticket πŸ™πŸŽ‰πŸ’Έ #InGodWeTrustAndWin”