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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

If you would just let me help, you’d be in an even worse position than you are now.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

That’s not my girl bestie, that’s my platonic wife.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

“Male loneliness epidemic” and it’s just karma and the consequences of their actions.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

You can’t boss me around. You’re not my bladder.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Have you tried making guacamole about it?

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

I want to become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

“This was on sale!” is why I’m always broke.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

People in my real life annoy me, so I come online to annoy you.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

I like how people say “manage your depression,” like it’s a stock portfolio, but you’re heavily invested in sadness.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2244 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,406

Funny Quotes Topics

15,110

Funny Quotes Images

12,406

27 minutes ago

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

I’ve started eating healthier and exercising if you’re wondering why I’m in such a crappy mood all of a sudden.

Just landed via Slack:

This heat made me realize I won’t survive in hell, I gotta change.

Trending via Twitch:

If I win the lottery, I’m buying four politicians and some really nice shoes.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

When I like a woman, I start to gather gifts for her like a squirrel hoarding nuts.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I think it broke my boyfriend’s heart when I said he couldn’t have Salma Hayek for Valentine’s Day.

Going viral on Reddit:

Never eat more than you can lift.

Just shared via WeChat:

Listen kid, I have social media profiles older than you.

Spotted on Messenger:

I think this man might be the one, I say right before he dumps me and I never hear from him again.

Breaking via Threads:

How do I even know this guy is my “boss”? I’ve just been taking his word for it.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Yoda, seeing himself in 4K: HDMI

I don’t know how to mop my kitchen floor without pretending l’m cleaning up a gruesome crime scene.

6 months ago

I don’t know how to mop my kitchen floor without pretending l’m cleaning up a gruesome crime scene.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs a detective when you've got a mop and a vivid imagination? 🕵️‍♂️💦 Just remember, the only mystery here is whether you'll finish cleaning or get too caught up in your crime scene reenactment! 🔍😂 #CleaningChronicles"

activity, cleaning, crime, crime scene, floor, humor, i, kitchen, know, mop, pretending, scene

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2244 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,406

Funny Quotes Topics

15,110

Funny Quotes Images

12,406

27 minutes ago

3,428

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

If sex was real, I think I would’ve had it by now.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

I just tried to poach an egg and I now understand why Eggs Benedict is $23

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

The sexual tension when everyone arrives at a 4-way stop at the same time.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

When my wife packs for a trip she basically moves out.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Blaming the full moon for whatever unhinged decision I make tonight.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

I’m not feeling very worky today.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

I love making the whole conversation so awkward that the most anyone can say after is “so yeah…”

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

I met a microbiologist today. He was a lot bigger than I expected.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

The lion does not concern himself with divorce papers.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

I bet being full feels so good for the moon.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

Pinterest recipe so long that it’s now a limited series on Netflix.

Reported on YouTube:

I was sad, but then I ordered some new clothes. I’m okay now.

Going viral on Instagram:

How do I tell someone respectfully to die in a fire?

Spreading quickly via X:

The dude who invented the autocorrect has died. Restaurant in piece.

Just landed via TikTok:

I’m not fragile like a flower. I’m fragile like a bomb.

Just landed via Pinterest:

The Bible is 100% accurate. Especially when thrown at close range.

Freshly posted on X:

When I was young, I was afraid of the dark. Now, these bills got me afraid of the light.

Shared recently on Discord:

I don’t have red flags, I have fun facts.

Making waves on Instagram:

I wonder if babies know that we are more terrified of them than they are of us.

Shared recently on WeChat:

When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.

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