Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • If I were Juliet, I would NOT be pleased to find a man standing under my balcony at midnight. Sir, I am in my jim-jams.
  • I hate it when I’m cleaning the house and suddenly find a bowl of ice cream in my lap and my soap opera on.
  • Love that every time I finish a snack I have to wave my hands around to prove to my dog it’s all gone, like I’m cashing him out at a casino or something.
  • Crazy to think that even after all of these years the Titanic’s pool still has water in it.
  • I’m naturally funny cause my whole life is a joke.
  • Baby for sale. Refuses to wear shoes.