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Commentary:
"Brace yourselves, folks, for the newest hit single from the world-renowned artist Taylor Slow 🛩️🐢. Who needs a private jet when you can take things slow and steady, right? 😉 #LifeintheSlowLane"

celebrity, humor, i, jet, private, private jet, slow, speed, swift, taylor, Taylor Swift, think, travel, understand, wordplay

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17 shares on Reddit this month:

To horses, hay is considered both a bed and breakfast.

80 shares on Pinterest this month:

Accidentally used men’s shower gel today, and I can already feel myself lying for no reason.

63 shares on YouTube this month:

Tried to pull off a smokey eye, ended up looking like I went three rounds with McGregor.

82 shares on WhatsApp this month:

We go together like coffee and cigarettes.

70 shares on Pinterest this month:

Stopping a complete stranger on the street and saying, “Let’s end this little charade.”

100 shares on Threads this month:

My ego is bruised so I’m going to ice it with some cold beer.

63 shares on TikTok this month:

That moment when a zombie out for brains walks past you.

35 shares on Discord this month:

If Dracula had a cat, she’d be the one sleeping in the coffin.

46 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Humans were not meant to have this many passwords.

53 shares on Pinterest this month:

Can we bring back the lost art of just hanging out at your friends house doing absolutely nothing?

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Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Carrying a conversation counts as cardio.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Doctors diagnosed me as your future wife.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

My DNA came back saying I come from a wide selection of cheeses.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

If we start dating now, we could be arguing on a road trip by August.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

There is literally no rule that says you have to get married and start a family. Normalize splitting a mansion with your five best friends and ten dogs.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

May he drop his phone on his face while he’s texting other girls.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

If I say goodnight and an hour later you see me online, it’s not that I lied; it’s just that I failed.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked. I’m a family of 8.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

I can’t take people who pronounce “gnocchi” correctly seriously.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Men need women, women need men. The end.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I think we should all try to spend more time online. It seems to be helping society.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Release that sexual frustration, get a burger.

Just landed via Discord:

Save money by accidentally forgetting your wallet at home. Follow me for more financial tips and tricks.

Seen just now on Facebook:

My husband needs a hearing aid, but refuses to get one because it’s the key to our happy marriage.

Just shared via Threads:

Twitter account so good even HR wants to see it.

Making waves on Threads:

“Delusional” ain’t a strong enough word to describe people anymore.

Going viral on Twitch:

Delightful if true: booby trap.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Every frozen pizza is a canvas that needs an artist’s touch.

Just shared via Reddit:

Kinda miss when crushes were butterflies instead of complex emotional calculations about compatibility and red flags.

Trending via Messenger:

So many songs that tell you to throw your hands in the air like you just don’t care, so few about the hazards of ceiling fans.

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I don’t think you all understand. If Taylor Swift didn’t have a private jet, she’d be Taylor Slow.

The only appointment I’m ever on time for is disappointment.

Putting a baby on board sticker on my car because other drivers have a right to know who they’re dealing with behind the wheel.

No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping tube is still a fun thing to bonk someone over the head with.

Not to brag, but I’ve done nothing for several hours.

Taking screenshots of the screenshots buried in my photo library to ‘bring them to the front.’ It’s not a great system, I admit.

Maybe if we paid our streaming services even more, they could stop jacking up the volume on the commercials they make us watch, even though we are paying for the service.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I don’t think you all understand. If Taylor Swift didn’t have a private jet, she’d be Taylor Slow.

Keep the laugh going 😂

The only appointment I’m ever on time for is disappointment.

Putting a baby on board sticker on my car because other drivers have a right to know who they’re dealing with behind the wheel.

No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping tube is still a fun thing to bonk someone over the head with.

Not to brag, but I’ve done nothing for several hours.

Taking screenshots of the screenshots buried in my photo library to ‘bring them to the front.’ It’s not a great system, I admit.

Maybe if we paid our streaming services even more, they could stop jacking up the volume on the commercials they make us watch, even though we are paying for the service.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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