Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Does my career know that I’m pursuing it, or is it another one-sided relationship?

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

89% of the time when my husband tells me I look great, what he really means is, “We needed to leave five minutes ago.”

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Somebody somewhere today don’t know it’s their last day with all 10 fingers.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

I’m at the age where I can remember things that never happened.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

You only realize how heavy your handbag really is when your car tells you that your passenger is not wearing a seatbelt.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Wow, pretty rude for people to exist who are younger and hotter than me, but OK.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

I want to live in a world where TV sitcoms have catchy theme songs again.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

I’m trying to cut back on how much sense I make.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a kid that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

I like my money where I can see it: hanging in my closet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Updated

Dec 25, 2025

Users Online

3,873

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

You don’t use a semicolons correctly; you use a semicolon confidently.

Going viral on Twitch:

After my death, I’ll be very busy. The list of people to whom I want to appear as a ghost is getting longer every day.

Breaking via YouTube:

Telling my coworkers I can’t talk in meetings today because I need to save my voice for concerts this weekend.

Trending via Telegram:

I am the opposite of artificial intelligence. I am authentic stupidity.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

People who play golf don’t concern me nearly as much as the people who watch it.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Throwing “whereupon” into a few work emails today to keep it fun.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Kiss me like you’re trying to damn my soul and save it in the same breath.

Making waves on WeChat:

Every word wishes it could sound as fun as falafel.

Spotted on Messenger:

I don’t always carry all the groceries on one arm, but when I do, my keys are in the wrong pocket.

Seen just now on Twitch:

What electric cars and diarrhea have in common is the fear of not making it home.

I don’t understand how some people find love several times in their lives. I first have to find someone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

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I don’t understand how some people find love several times in their lives. I first have to find someone who doesn’t get on my nerves.
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Commentary:
Trying to find love without getting on my nerves is like looking for a unicorn at a petting zoo! 🦄😂

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on TikTok this month:

Summer: 10 minutes outside, 10 hours in front of the AC.

33 shares on X this month:

So proud of my ancestors for crawling out of the sea and evolving lungs. Pretty disappointed in them ever since though.

54 shares on TikTok this month:

I always knew I’d get old. How fast it happened was a bit of a surprise though.

25 shares on Discord this month:

(to the boys in the yard) I hope you brought your own milkshake.

88 shares on Messenger this month:

Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

66 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m actually breaking generational curses by surviving my 20s without marrying a man who hates me.

50 shares on WeChat this month:

One thing I miss about the pandemic is getting to rip my mask off like I just botched a surgery.

88 shares on LinkedIn this month:

How are there low birth rates when everyone here is a big baby?

61 shares on X this month:

Isn’t it odd that “read” is pronounced like “lead”, while “read” is pronounced like “lead”?

22 shares on Discord this month:

I asked Tom Hanks for his autograph, but all he wrote was thanks.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone’s worried about a recession, but babes, we’re heading for a dark age.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

When a man is a good cook, that cancels out like three red flags.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I just want to find someone that gets annoyed by the same things as I do.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Kissing while both wearing baseball caps is so hard. How do baseball players do it?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Grant me the serenity to supernaturally change the things I cannot accept.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

By the time I meet the right person, I’ll probably be the wrong person.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I could own a thousand summer dresses, and it still wouldn’t be enough.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Adulthood is basically just trying to fall asleep at night and stay awake during the day.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

When the Beatles say, “Come together, right now, over me,” what was that about? Why did they say that?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

What part of “I need to save money” do I not understand?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Updated

Dec 25, 2025

Users Online

3,857

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Onion rings? I’m answering.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

My husband and I were doing yard work, but I started a fight so I could storm off into the air conditioning.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

You got a better chance getting chased by a dog than by me.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Everyone focused on the lip filler, but it’s really the chin filler that is the real villain.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

No, baby, I’m not dumping you. I’m just rebranding myself as your ex.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I finally get why people love cauliflower.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

I wish it were social acceptable to say “I don’t care” and walk away mid conversation when you’re bored.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

Getting excited to go to bed is a different level of adulting.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

The problem is that you are in the dating pool when the other fish are in the ocean.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

I never had kids because little kids see too many ghosts and that’s something I’d rather not know about.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

I am in favor of equal pay for men on OnlyFans.

Spreading quickly via X:

Is it stupid and irresponsible? Yes. Will it make me happy? Also yes.

Just landed via X:

Why do these women want to date Pete Davidson, a funny movie star, and not me, a guy who is whining?

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Never lie to Indian girls. That red dot be recording everything.

Shared recently on Discord:

To the knife wielding psycho who walked in on me in the shower; I’m sorry you had to see that.

Making waves on X:

Sorry I was late, I was disassociating in the shower.

Just landed via Twitch:

I’m not stubborn, my way is just better than yours.

Trending via Snapchat:

How does world hunger exist when we can fry air?

Just landed via Facebook:

God knew I would be too powerful if I had conversation skills.

Going bananas on Reddit:

It’s actually crazy we figured out how to grow real diamonds that are cheaper and better quality than the real thing, and so many people are still like, no thanks, the suffering is what makes it special.

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