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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Women love it when you approach them on the street and say “whoa, is there a hot babe convention in town?”

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

The secret ingredient to being really funny is childhood trauma.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Friendly reminder that someone having a different opinion about a movie than you is a direct attack on you as a person and you should take it very personally.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Sharpening pencils at the bin was the biggest link-up.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

British people be like “It’s Chewsday, innit?”

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Me: God, please stop giving me your toughest battles. God: You just have to empty the dishwasher.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

I want my name to come up when you go to confession.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

I’m so broke, I owe myself money.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

I am a friend to all cats. Yes, even the mean ones. They have their reasons.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

You should be able to call out of work if your partner is so cozy and warm in the morning.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

Updated

12 minutes ago

Users Online

3,417

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

Once you realize I’m an idiot, my posts start to make a lot more sense.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

If only vehicles could be equipped with little blinky lights on the corners to alert other drivers the direction they wished to turn.

Just landed via WeChat:

Opening the web before 9am is crazy. Like, did you even try to have a good day?

Reported on X:

I am physically, mentally and emotionally ready to enter a new phase in my life…. hibernation.

Spotted on WeChat:

The way some people hold their cell phone to make a call, I always think they’re trying to take a bite out of a sandwich.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them.

Shared recently on WeChat:

You get what you pay for. Unless the delivery man leaves it on your doorstep. Then the fastest person on your street gets what you paid for.

Spotted on Reddit:

A clever man fills his wife’s closet with so many clothes that no other man can fit in.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Just saying “Think about it!” is enough to overwhelm many people these days.

Spotted on X:

Clearly I’m not doing Dry January unless you mean sense of humor.

I don’t want to party like it’s 1999, I want to go grocery shopping like it is.

I don’t want to party like it’s 1999, I want to go grocery shopping like it is.
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Commentary:
Who needs a wild night out when you can get the excitement of scoring a great deal on avocados at the grocery store? 🥑🛒 Forget about dancing the night away, I'm ready to stroll down the aisles in style! Meet me at the produce section, it's where all the real action is happening. 🤣 #GroceryShoppingGoals

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

Updated

12 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

I’m so embarrassed by the paragraphs I used to send expressing my feelings.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

I’m so lazy that I’ll break my tooth trying to get this tag off before I get up and get a scissor.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Halloween is a big day for dogs who love to absolutely lose their shit when the doorbell rings.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

The potholes in my city will change your radio station and unlock the doors.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Dear brain, please stop thinking so much exactly when it’s time to fall asleep.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

I prefer not to think before speaking. I like being as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Someone in their late 20s giving advice to someone in their early 20s is exactly like when a toddler is obsessed with a newborn.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I apologize to my car when I hit a pothole.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

I’m so bored of being bored because being bored is really boring.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

I just tried to groom my dog myself, and I now fully understand why the dog groomer charges more for a haircut than my own stylist.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

If you’re feeling lonely, start a small business. Then you’ll have a little company.

Reported on TikTok:

Jump to recipe is the closest thing we have to teleportation.

Going viral on Telegram:

Did you know that if a unicorn and I were to race, the unicorn would likely win cause unicorns are about as real as my desire to race anything?

Seen just now on Messenger:

You know you got a bad haircut when she insists on giving you a $10 discount.

Trending via YouTube:

This too shall pass, but what the hell?

Shared recently on Telegram:

Mashed potatoes are just German guacamole.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Drinking through a straw is the opposite of snorkeling.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

If you ever need me, I’m always just a couple missed calls and text messages away.

Just landed via TikTok:

Doctors who give out lollipops really treat their patients.

Trending via Telegram:

If you bring an acoustic guitar to a bonfire, I’m going to assume it’s for fuel.

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