Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Drinking all this water just to end up in the same place you started… 😅💧🚽 It's like a cosmic joke, isn't it? Welcome to Planet Earth: the ultimate hydration paradox!"

absurdity, drink, frustration, humor, i, irony, just, pee, planet, prison, water

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you can’t wow them with wisdom, baffle them with bullshit.

0

3 months ago

advice, baffle, bullshit, communication, humor, sarcasm, wisdom, wit
Village life is when you send two kids out to play and six kids come back hungry.

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2 months ago

activity, back, family, hungry, kids, life, outdoor, outdoor activity, play, send, six, village, village life
I’m sorry, but when you call me ‘batshit crazy’ it’s almost starting to sound like you think it’s a bad thing!

0

2 months ago

apology, bad, batshit, batshit crazy, call, confidence, crazy, humor, me, perception, self-acceptance, sorry, sound, thing, think, uniqueness
They should invent a situationship that turns into something beautiful.

0

2 months ago

beautiful, companionship, dating, emotional, emotional growth, growth, humor, invent, love, relationship, romance, should, situationship, something
Why does it take 5-7 business days to refund my money when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out of my account?

0

2 months ago

account, business, days, frustration, humor, money, refund, take, time, wait
I was gonna kiss you under the blood moon eclipse, but whatever, bro.

0

4 months ago

blood, blood moon, bro, eclipse, fail, humor, i, kiss, moon, romantic, romantic fail, under, whatever

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on TikTok this month:

Enjoy the time between diapers!

31 shares on Facebook this month:

I talk to one guy, and he wants to break my heart. I talk to five guys, and they all wanna take me seriously.

24 shares on Twitch this month:

When I tell you “I’m open to feedback” I’m telling you to be nice to me or I’ll resort to violence.

61 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My ex was like “I know a spot,” then took me to the lowest point in my life.

53 shares on Threads this month:

Wife asked if I could stop singing Wonderwall. I said maybe…

13 shares on X this month:

Men, it’s really simple. We want everything, but nothing, at the same time or different times, sometimes but not always.

60 shares on Discord this month:

I was gonna get on the treadmill, but then the couch will get sad.

56 shares on Slack this month:

All I want I for Christmas is to go to the mall in 1986.

24 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Getting to the age where I’m like, “Oh, hopefully I’ll be dead by then.”

92 shares on TikTok this month:

All these deadlines, but it’s you I want to meet.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

At least life has music.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

My retirement plan is recording a hit Christmas song. I just need to learn how to sing and write music.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

My boyfriend invited the neighbors over for dinner, “sometime,” so now we have to move.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

I asked Tom Hanks for his autograph, but all he wrote was thanks.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

“Got milk?” Buddy, I don’t even have self-esteem.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

I don’t know much, but I do know melancholia is a way cooler diagnosis than depression.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Be bold, be italic, but never regular.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

My idea of fun is watching something on the TV while I look at relevant Wikipedia articles on my phone.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Make it a habit to cry and act unhinged at meetings so you’re never invited back.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WeChat:

Every day Facebook tells me I have memories and wants to show them to me. It’s like they have no appreciation for the cost or the amount of liquor I needed to erase them.

Shared recently on X:

In England “booster shot” is spelled “borchestershire shot”.

Trending via Facebook:

Dry January is out. Sopping Wet February is in.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Peer pressure has nothing on me; all my bad decisions are made single-handedly.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

It’s not sleeping alone if there are crumbs in your bed.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I couldn’t work at a zoo. I’d have a penguin in my car by the end of the shift.

Going viral on X:

My rapper name would be 2 stressd.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Selling porn is gross, but selling food and small household items is grocer.

Trending via WeChat:

Roses are red, violets are blue. When I listen to rock music, my neighbors do too.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Hi there, I very much look forward to letting you down.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I drink all this water and for what. Just to pee? This planet is a prison.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If you can’t wow them with wisdom, baffle them with bullshit.

Village life is when you send two kids out to play and six kids come back hungry.

I’m sorry, but when you call me ‘batshit crazy’ it’s almost starting to sound like you think it’s a bad thing!

They should invent a situationship that turns into something beautiful.

Why does it take 5-7 business days to refund my money when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out of my account?

I was gonna kiss you under the blood moon eclipse, but whatever, bro.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨