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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

“This too shall pass.” And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never f**king ends.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

It’s okay to admit you want my lips on yours.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Having a teenager is fun because the voice in my head that questions everything I do now has a friend.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

My age no longer permits me to suffer for love, so if you see me sad, it’s due to lack of money.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Super excited about a brand new day of ignoring my problems.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

The dumbest people have the loudest opinions on politics.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

It’s time for basic human empathy to make a comeback.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

It goes like this: You are born and then you basically do almost everything wrong. Then you die.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

The only sunscreen that’s 100% effective is abstinence.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

A treadmill minute is four times as long as a sleep minute.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,505

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

I’m sorry for the things I said when I was running late due to circumstances completely within my control.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Some people pack their lives so full of activities, appointments and people that I get exhausted just reading about it.

Going viral on Instagram:

Last year I had no valentine, this year I also have no valentine. Consistency!

Making waves on Threads:

My showers take so long because I always hold a shower concert.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all: I watched Rebel Moon 2 and the Netflix app worked well. Showed me the entire movie. In color.

Going bananas on Messenger:

If I was Snow White, you wouldn’t get me with an apple. You’d have to poison a taco or something.

Spotted on WeChat:

At what age do I delete Snapchat?

Just shared via TikTok:

I’m upset that my parents never got rich enough for me to become a socialist.

Broadcasted on Discord:

My back hurts too much to lean over anymore, going to have to resort to picking things up with a deep curtsy.

Spotted on Reddit:

If they treat you like an option, leave them like a choice, and make your exit as dramatic as a Netflix season finale.

I got my patience from waiting half the day to download a song from Limewire.

0
I got my patience from waiting half the day to download a song from Limewire.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the good ol' days of Limewire and the art of mastering patience! ⏳😂 It was like a digital treasure hunt mixed with a test of endurance. Waiting for that download bar to inch forward was a true exercise in self-control. Who knew that downloading a single song could feel like running a marathon? 🏃‍♂️💨 #ThrowbackTechStruggles

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on YouTube this month:

Do goalies ever get lonely during a game?

96 shares on Reddit this month:

I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control. I thought to myself, “Wow, this changes everything.”

27 shares on Slack this month:

My daughter’s morning alarm is less to wake her up, and more to warn the rest of us.

37 shares on Instagram this month:

Whoever said “out of sight out of mind” never lost a spider in the bedroom.

96 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m blunt because the universe rolled me that way.

59 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t think either person should pay for the first date. It should be on the house.

60 shares on Telegram this month:

My boyfriend talks to everyone while I stand by quietly, planning my escape.

28 shares on Snapchat this month:

Boys say that girls are dramatic, but have you ever plucked a man’s eyebrow? They act like they’ve been shot.

46 shares on Pinterest this month:

The Bible is 100% accurate. Especially when thrown at close range.

93 shares on Pinterest this month:

The shower is the only one who gets turned on when I’m naked.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If she says “it’s fine,” you’re probably in trouble.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Piñatas are a fun way to intentionally maim the guests at your party.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not drunk enough for this Teams meeting.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Work again? Really? Didn’t I just do that yesterday?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Post-standing clarity is like, damn, I could have been sitting this whole time.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 50s… you can now fall asleep sitting up on the couch at any given moment.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Why procrastinate now when you can always procrastinate later?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope you catch the bouquet at my funeral.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I miss my Dad opening the windows and talking about cross-ventilation.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,527

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Washing mushrooms is the quickest way to figure out exactly how much dirt you’re okay with eating.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler getting his nose wiped.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

By my second “could we change the subject?” I could feel the job interview going south.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

I do not have a “body count.” I have a curious spirit.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

My summer body is just my winter body with better lighting.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

I’m on a spinning rock in outer space, and I have to answer work emails.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Having children is a pyramid scheme.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

The endings of Lost and Game of Thrones each cost me a television.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Men love when you ask them to explain something to you. It is considered a sign of deep respect in their culture.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

In Hell, “Cotton Eye Joe” plays on an eternal loop. The heat and fire are actually pleasant compared to that.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

My therapist said I should face my fears. So I turned my phone back on.

Going viral on WeChat:

I’m terrified of escalators, so I’m taking steps to avoid them.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I be outside telling people I don’t got social media when they ask.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I tell my kids winning isn’t everything and then I steal money from the monopoly bank.

Just landed via Twitch:

Will someone please make me drink some water and limit my screen time?

Shared recently on Reddit:

If you add orange juice to Jason Momoa, you get a Jason Mimosa.

Live now on Facebook:

One man’s worst nightmare (me) is another man’s peace (also me).

Seen just now on Twitch:

When two people argue online I believe whoever spells correctly.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

The heart wants what it wants, but it’s not the only organ that has a vote.

Freshly posted on Discord:

What would you do if you were in my situation right now? The situation being that I’m drunk.

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