Trendy Funny Quotes

  • The mattress in the guest room was perfectly fine until I had to sleep on it once.
  • The only difference between hungry and horny is where you insert the cucumber.
  • I’m not even a 2nd choice, I’m like an 8th choice, sometimes a 10th.
  • I’m so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed.
  • If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.
  • When is someone actually going to change the surprise in the avocado? This hard core is kind of a stupid toy.