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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Perhaps an evening in the meditation cage will soothe you.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Good morning to everyone except people that talk to the cashier about their entire day.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

I’m really looking forward to eight hours of thinking about sleep tonight.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Nephew showed me his toys on FaceTime, and I had no toys to show him back. Humiliating.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

My favorite part of socializing is when it’s over.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Don’t understand why electricians aren’t called power rangers, but okay.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

The sexual tension when everyone arrives at a 4-way stop at the same time.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

If you apply enough sunscreen, the rain simply rolls off.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Might go to prison so I can focus on the gym properly.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

I regret to inform you that the secret to appearing well-read is to read.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,663

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

If I’m wrongly accused of a crime, I’m going to prison. I’m way too introverted to have an alibi.

Seen just now on WeChat:

“Male loneliness epidemic” and it’s just karma and the consequences of their actions.

Live now on Threads:

Can’t believe, as a kid, I thought 21-year-olds had their lives figured out.

Trending via WeChat:

I don’t understand people who say “I don’t know how to thank you.” Like they never heard of money.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I’m so cold, I wish I could get in the dryer.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Maturing is when you’d rather drink your bourbon half-naked on the couch than go out.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Born to be a Jedi spinning a lightsaber, forced to work full-time and pay rent.

Shared recently on Twitch:

If you give a man a fish, that fish is basically gone. Way to lose your fish.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I don’t freak out until I see the Buddhists freaking out.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

It’s weird how the UFO’s always seem to crash in places that only the government and military have access to.

I have a lot to offer! Most of it’s bad, but it’s still a lot.

Witty quote about self-deprecating humor and feeling like a lot to offer.
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Commentary:
"Who said quantity over quality wasn't a valid strategy? 😅 When life gives you lemons, make a lot of questionable lemonade! 🍋🤷‍♂️"

, , , , , , ,

Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on Reddit this month:

We used to have “spring, summer, fall, winter”. Today we have “drama, drama, drama, drama”.

62 shares on Facebook this month:

How many cups of coffee is OK to have every day? Is it eight? I’m pretty sure it’s eight.

77 shares on YouTube this month:

My worst fear is looking out my window at night, and someone looking right at me.

72 shares on TikTok this month:

The cynicism of those who urge me not to do what I can to help the Nigerian royal family.

25 shares on Pinterest this month:

Reading Shakespeare for the first time is crazy because you go, “Oh, that’s where that comes from,” every other page.

80 shares on WeChat this month:

The universe clearly isn’t working as it should so someone should turn it off and back on again.

57 shares on Telegram this month:

Welcome to adulthood: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

29 shares on Reddit this month:

My Wi-Fi is stronger than my will to socialize.

60 shares on YouTube this month:

Kids today will never understand how many ninjas there were in the 1980s.

57 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I remember when the only in-flight movie choices were either you watched or you didn’t.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

At 30+, I’m like an old phone battery. Even when you charge me overnight for 10 hours, by midday I’m at 60%.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

These days, I only use Facebook as a birthday calendar.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I prefer to use deodorant immediately after shaving my armpits so that I can feel that I’m still alive.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Acting jealous while secretly cheating is a pure talent of witchcraft.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

A thing I never realized about being an adult is that you will always be cleaning your kitchen. No matter if you get takeout, no matter if you’re gone all day, you will be cleaning the kitchen.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked Jesus Christ of Nazareth.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Who are these people that buy unsalted butter on purpose?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s really nothing as pathetic as watching a sad little man argue with Grok in hopes of manipulating the conversation to get an answer he wants.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Sharing wired earphones is a forgotten form of intimacy.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I love how you get on Twitter, and all your thoughts are already in someone else’s tweet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,652

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Welcome to your 40’s: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

If I get rid of social media, how will I know what everyone ate for dinner?

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Trying to squeeze in more nothingness today, but my schedule is already packed with procrastination!

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

(flirting) You’ll be the death of me.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Imagine hating me and I’m just here trying to push a door that says pull.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

My boyfriend just said “I encourage you to try all things” to our cat who was licking up Buffalo sauce.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

I really want a family… sized bag of peanut butter M&Ms.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Laying in a hammock is essentially saying, “I hope there are no emergencies.”

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Yes, money alone does not make you happy. It has to be yours too.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Type of person to take the long way home just to listen to more music.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

I never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

Going viral on X:

I call my period Shark week. I want to eat everything, I’m snapping at people, I feel huge, people are scared of me, and there is blood everywhere.

Seen just now on Discord:

Elections is like waiting for the results of a biopsy, except half your family hopes it’s cancer.

Going bananas on X:

“You’re so quick to cut someone off!” God forbid a girl actually has self-respect.

Trending via Instagram:

I can relate to the stock market because I am always about to crash at a moment’s notice.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Has anyone ever considered that Dr. Pepper could be a gynecologist?

Going viral on YouTube:

Using a remote to type on a keyboard on the TV is truly one of the worst human experiences that we endure.

Just landed via Snapchat:

If I’m ever mad at you, just talk to me in a sweeter and softer tone, and watch how quickly that anger disappears.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Microsoft: Before you sign in, we need to send you a code. Also, Microsoft: OMG, was that you that requested a code? Also, Microsoft: OMG, someone just signed in to your account.

Breaking via Reddit:

One minute you’re young and wild, the next minute you’re into air fryers.

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