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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Every morning, the cat watches me make coffee and asks if we can go sit out on the balcony to watch the birds, and every morning I say, yes, of course, let’s.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Is everyone enjoying their entire month of August off work with full pay? Oh yeah, I forgot, only Congress gets to do that.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

I don’t think I’ve ever made the right amount of pasta.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Do you all introverts ever open a text and think, ‘I’ll reply when I have the energy,’ and then it’s three weeks, and you have to live with the guilt of being a horrible friend.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

By the time my CVS receipt finished printing, I was eligible for another prescription refill.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Watching Jaws with my kid because I’m sick of going to the beach.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

I once let a really short guy be the big spoon and it felt like I went to bed with a backpack on.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

You know the nap is good when it left you marks.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

“Just be yourself”—that has gotten me mixed results in the past.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

I’ve reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Jan 6, 2026

3,347

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on LinkedIn:

The Pope is the only employee who never gets to see his boss. Not even at the Christmas party.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Part of fatherhood is becoming an expert in some obscure topic and teaching it to your children who stopped listening 30 minutes ago.

Going bananas on Instagram:

I was abducted by aliens. They made me wash my hands, clean my room, and eat my vegetables. Turns out I was on the mothership.

Going viral on Twitch:

Turns out I like you a lot more than I originally planned.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

What age do you learn to cook pasta for one and not for a whole village? Asking for a friend.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Realizing this yogurt I’m eating is more active and cultured than I am.

Seen just now on Threads:

Sure, money can’t buy happiness, but it can definitely buy a jet ski… and have you ever seen a sad person on a jet ski?

Trending via Threads:

Don’t believe in yourself, you can’t do it.

Making waves on TikTok:

Group projects taught me how to do everything alone and trust no one.

Making waves on X:

Why do my kids have Veteran’s Day off, they haven’t done shit.

I have a question and my question is, how can I look so cute in the mirror but like such a baked potato in pictures?

2 months ago

0

I have a question and my question is, how can I look so cute in the mirror but like such a baked potato in pictures?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🤔💁‍♀️ "Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the cutest of them all? Wait, what do you mean I transform into a baked potato in photos? 🥔📸 Maybe I need to switch my selfie game to 'bake' to perfection! 😂 #BakedPotatoAesthetic"

baked, baked potato, cute, humor, i, mirror, pictures, potato, question, self-image

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It’s called the Summer Olympics so one of the events should be running in flip flops to catch the ice cream man.

0

2 months ago

activity, catch, comedy, cream, event, flip, flip flops, flops, fun, funny event, humorous, humorous sports, ice, ice cream man, man, Olympics, playful, playful activity, running, should, sports, summer, summer fun, Summer Olympics
The secret to a good marriage is that it’s all about give and take. Giving each other frequent back rubs and ordering lots of takeout.

0

2 months ago

activity, back, back rub, couple, frequent, fun, fun activity, give, give and take, giving, good, humor, marriage, relationship, rub, secret, take, takeout
Never underestimate my ability to fall asleep in a moving vehicle.

0

2 months ago

ability, asleep, fall, humor, moving, nap, never, sleep, travel, underestimate, vehicle
Saying “essentially” is a more sophisticated way of saying “basically.

0

2 months ago

choice, communication, humor, language, phrase, saying, sophisticated, sophistication, synonym, vocabulary, word, word choice
Cooking your own meals really is the best way to devote 50 hours of your life every month to save $50.

0

2 months ago

50, best, budget, cooking, every, food, hours, humor, irony, life, meal, meals, money, month, own, save, saving, time
Sorry for the things I said when the internet was down for 10 minutes.

0

2 months ago

behavior, digital, digital mood, frustration, humor, i, internet, internet outage, minutes, mishap, mood, online, online behavior, online frustration, outage, said, sorry, tech, tech mishap, things

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on Snapchat this month:

Being friends with introverts is hard sometimes. Did they die? Are they just recharging? Are they Batman now? The suspense is killing me.

15 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Problematic bed time gap relationship.

69 shares on Slack this month:

There’s some gifs that I’ve started to act out in real life as responses to situations.

99 shares on Threads this month:

There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.

10 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I may forget what I opened the fridge for but I remember every time anyone has ever wronged me.

22 shares on Messenger this month:

Defeating imposter syndrome by actually being incompetent.

43 shares on Discord this month:

I’m really getting tired of being a responsible adult.

38 shares on Slack this month:

Sometimes people come into your life — and they need to stop doing that.

29 shares on Facebook this month:

Weddings should have a worst man.

23 shares on Discord this month:

Whoever came up with the spelling for “receipt” was an idiopt.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a cat is like having a roommate that doesn’t want to hang out and never intends on being friends.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, spreading goat cheese on a bagel.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I was a moose. No work, no school, just eating grass and wrecking cars.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

When I get the vibe from someone that fitting in is super important to them my first instinct is to bite them.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m very strong, but not in a get a jar open kinda way.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Good morning to everyone except those who need approval from strangers on the internet.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Chickens only make one sound, because they can’t think outside the bawks.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t sleep because I keep finding exciting opportunities to get pissed off.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Your fingers have fingertips, but your toes don’t have toetips. Yet, you can tiptoe but not tipfinger.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I like listening to podcasts because it’s basically getting to enjoy a conversation without having to participate in it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,672

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Not many quicksand-related deaths since the 1970s. Thank God the authorities got that nightmare under control.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

If politicians can text my cell phone asking for money, I should be able to text them directly with policy suggestions.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

And where did Mr. Pepper receive his degree from exactly?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

All soups are gazpacho if you’re lazy enough.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

As I get older, I’m understanding why everything needs to be done before 12 p.m.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Don’t talk to me about regrets if you’ve never had someone’s name tattooed on you.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

You have a bucket list, I have my head in a bucket, we are not the same.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Coke tastes like tapping into your ancient ancestral petroleum reserves, while Sprite tastes like being connected to a big, beautiful energy grid.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

The word “ugly” cannot be used on women, I’m sorry. Women just can’t be ugly, that’s a boy thing.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Some stupid little amoeba decided to leave the ocean a billion years ago and now I have to worry about Monday.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

I wonder if it’s possible to swim from one end to the other in a pool filled with mashed potatoes.

Making waves on Threads:

At least men and women can agree on one thing: it feels amazing to take a bra off.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

When they dress up really nice, but all you can think about is the thrill of taking it off.

Just shared via Telegram:

I want to clarify that what I publish on social media does not define me as a person; I am worse.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Just walked by an empath and his head exploded.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

My apologies to your congregation. I totally misunderstood when you asked for missionary volunteers.

Trending via Telegram:

My kids will never appreciate the amount of extroverting the introvert me does for them.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here talking baby talk to my plants.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Saving up ketchup packets in the fridge so I can one day open my own restaurant.

Breaking via Telegram:

If you have children, you can experience all human emotions before 9 a.m. on Sundays.

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