Trendy Funny Quotes

  • No one comes off looking worse than the third party who was asked to interfere in a couple fight.
  • Hear me out. What if we don’t elect another president, and we all just promise to be really good?
  • You know you’re the father of teen boys when a shoe print on the ceiling no longer fazes you.
  • Microdosing bungee jumping by bending over to pick up a hair tie.
  • Anyone know how to get an air guitar out of a vacuum?
  • The closest thing I’ve had to a personal trainer is the ice cream truck that drove past my house.