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"May your spoon be as slippery as your excuses when it comes to tackling responsibilities! ๐ฅ๐ฒ๐"
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I hope your spoon slides into your soup.
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Told my girlfriend that Mum is deaf, so speak loud and slow. Also told Mum that my girlfriend has special needs.
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Have I made bad decisions when I was drunk? Sure. But have the sober ones been any better? Not really.
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A weighted blanket isnโt enough today, I need to be compressed into a zip-file.
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You ask for a Swedish massage and then get mad when I roll meatballs on your back.
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The idea that the zombies in the 28 Days series exist entirely in Britain is genuinely hilarious. The rest of the world saw that and was like, “Yeah, they can handle it on their own.”
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