Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

I miss making out in public and making people feel uncomfortable.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk calmly to the lock. We all know that communication is the key.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

If you want to impress me with your car, it better be a food truck.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Today’s youth will never experience the pain of spending all their pocket money on a music album. Because of ONE good song!

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It’s called lunch.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

I put the “sexy” in “dyslexic.”

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Super excited to not contribute anything worthwhile today.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Sorry I’m late, my song came on at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

I have more photos of food on my phone than I do of my children.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Jan 1st: Avocado on whole grain toast with a protein shake. Jan 20th: Syrup comes from a tree so technically it’s a vegetable.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,613

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

Imagine being hungry and some guy tries to teach you to fish.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

A true friend is someone who thinks you’re a good egg, even though they know you’re slightly cracked.

Live now on YouTube:

That awkward moment when a zombie looking for brains walks right past you.

Making waves on Instagram:

A Twitter swear jar could end world hunger.

Making waves on Facebook:

I hope the babies I was born with at the hospital are doing good.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Hannibal Lecter didn’t have to be a serial killer, he was scary enough as a foodie.

Going viral on Slack:

Cookbook, but each recipe includes a photo of all the dishes that need to be cleaned after making it.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Just because your parents planned you doesn’t mean you weren’t a mistake.

Going viral on Telegram:

It’s with a heavy heart and a deep sadness that I have to announce that I’m at work.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Interpretive dance is the best way to answer stupid questions.

I hope your spoon slides into your soup.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"May your spoon be as slippery as your excuses when it comes to tackling responsibilities! 🥄🍲😄"

food, hope, humor, i, kitchen, soup, spoon, wish

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I met a microbiologist today. He was a lot bigger than I expected.

0

2 months ago

bigger, expectation, humor, i, joke, lot, microbiologist, science, size, today
Spending the day with my mom and her mom, just observing the patterns.

0

2 months ago

day, day out, family, generation, grandmother, humor, just, mom, observation, observing, pattern, spending
Everyone you don’t like in your personal and professional life is a narcissist.

0

2 months ago

dislike, everyone, humor, interaction, life, narcissist, personal, personal life, personality, professional, professional life, relationship, social, social interaction
You ever get surprised by your own recurring issues? Like, come on man, I thought we were past this.

0

2 months ago

ever, everyday, everyday problem, frustration, humor, i, irony, issue, issues, man, own, past, problem, recurring, recurring issue, relatable, repetitive, self-awareness, surprise, thought
Threatening my wife with a tariff every time she makes fun of me.

0

2 months ago

every, fun, humor, joke, marriage, me, relationship, tariff, threat, threatening, time, wife
If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

0

2 months ago

attention, care, couple, debt, humor, missing, money, nobody, payments, responsibility, sarcasm, think

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on Slack this month:

Are oranges called oranges because they are orange, or is the color orange called orange because an orange is orange?

40 shares on Threads this month:

A dating app that matches people by the conspiracy theories they are interested in.

62 shares on Slack this month:

Having to pee really puts things into perspective. Like, OK, none of this matters.

86 shares on Instagram this month:

My mother told me there is a girl for me in every corner of the earth, but unfortunately the earth is round.

24 shares on TikTok this month:

The difference between me and Superman is that he has super vision, and I need supervision.

30 shares on TikTok this month:

Concert tickets should be 75% off if the artist is really super special to you.

56 shares on Threads this month:

Babe, are you ok? You’ve barely talked about the horrors of being alive.

88 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Much of my algorithm is based on when I paused while scrolling to grab a snack.

85 shares on Threads this month:

Gentle parenting is making sure your kids can’t hear what you say when you’re peeling a mango.

64 shares on Threads this month:

I’m ready to try another planet.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

I hope you can hear me thinking about you.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

When is someone actually going to change the surprise in the avocado? This hard core is kind of a stupid toy.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

The difference between a songbird and a hummingbird is that one of them knows the lyrics.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

When they know you know they did you dirty, they stay gone. And that’s the best thing.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Great minds think alike, but so do stupid ones.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Why’s it always “NYC smells like pee” and never “my pee smells like the greatest city in the world”?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

I wrote a book. It’s a murder mystery. You’re in it but only for the first couple of chapters.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m never single for too long, you gotta catch me while you can.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Returned my 3D printer, but not before making a 3D printer with it.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

My brain says “Let’s do something exciting today” but my body says “Don’t listen to that fool.”

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Everybody in the grocery store is my enemy, and I will not be elaborating.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I love surprising my girl, today she woke up single.

Shared recently on Slack:

My body looks like I have a great personality.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Hungry me has no respect for bathroom scale me.

Just shared via X:

Grandparents are there to help the kids get into trouble and teach them stupid things they wouldn’t think of on their own.

Going viral on YouTube:

(lost in the labyrinth and I’m wearing a Fitbit) Nice, got my 10,000 steps.

Trending via Telegram:

I’ll find a cell mate before I’ll ever find a soulmate.

Shared recently on Facebook:

The first time I heard “big naturals,” I thought it referred to major outdoor landmarks such as the Grand Canyon or the Great Barrier Reef.

Trending via YouTube:

The older I get, the more I start to understand the appeal of birdwatching as a hobby. I do find myself watching these little troublemakers quite often.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

My wife rearranged the kitchen cabinets, and now I’ll never eat again.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I hope your spoon slides into your soup.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I met a microbiologist today. He was a lot bigger than I expected.

Spending the day with my mom and her mom, just observing the patterns.

Everyone you don’t like in your personal and professional life is a narcissist.

You ever get surprised by your own recurring issues? Like, come on man, I thought we were past this.

Threatening my wife with a tariff every time she makes fun of me.

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨