Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, the enigmatic McDonald's ice-cream machine – forever mysterious in its eternal quest to elude us when we crave a sweet treat 🍦😂 It truly embodies that 'hard to get' mentality in the dessert world!"

disappointment, humor, i, ice cream, identify, machine, McDonald’s, me, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

How to write complaints: “Dear customer service, first of all, you should know that I am typing this with my middle finger.”

0

2 months ago

am, complaints, customer, customer service, finger, frustration, humor, i, know, middle, middle finger, sarcasm, service, should, typing
Shoutout to myself for ruining my own life.

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2 months ago

humor, irony, life, own, ruin, self, self-deprecation, shoutout
My dad once sneezed so hard that he set every clock back two hours.

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2 months ago

back, clock, dad, every, family, hard, hours, humor, once, set, sneeze, time
I’ve got a soft heart and a savage mouth. I’m like a Hallmark card written by Gordon Ramsay.

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2 months ago

card, clever, comparison, contrast, gordon, got, heart, humor, humor quote, humorous, humorous comparison, mouth, personality, personality trait, ramsay, sarcasm, savage, savage mouth, sharp, sharp tongue, soft, soft heart, tongue, trait, witty
My fondest childhood memory is being able to sleep through the entire night and waking up rested.

0

2 months ago

able, being, childhood, humor, memory, night, nostalgia, rested, sleep, waking
Your secret is safe with me and my sister.

0

2 months ago

humor, me, relationship, safe, secret, sister, trust

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on Threads this month:

I’d enjoy summer a lot more if someone came by hourly and misted me like produce.

72 shares on Facebook this month:

All we needed to be happy in the 90s was music and cigarettes.

32 shares on Instagram this month:

Buying new glasses this week, so a whole bunch of you are about to get a whole lot uglier.

75 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and I don’t want to see you every day.

68 shares on TikTok this month:

The worst part about waking up is all the remembering.

36 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a few minutes.

85 shares on Slack this month:

My husband needs a hearing aid, but refuses to get one because it’s the key to our happy marriage.

65 shares on Slack this month:

When you really want to slap someone, do it and say, “Mosquito!

83 shares on Facebook this month:

Normalize having a threatening aura, but really just being a sweetheart.

77 shares on Threads this month:

Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Nicknamed my iPhone Lois Lane because it doesn’t recognize me without my glasses on either.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Here’s your daily reminder to not forget about Dre.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Manipulative birthday text to an ex idea: thank you for loving me briefly in the way that only you could.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

“Mom, how did we get so rich?” your father said, “Thanks, nothing from my end,” on thousands of important Zoom meetings.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

If it’s a ghost ship, why does it have to be on water?

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

I hope we’re good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Why did they have to bleep out everything R2D2 said?

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

One thing that could really “level-up” the experience of being a pedestrian would be if cars had some kind of feature that could indicate whether or not they were going to turn in a particular direction.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Everyone is gangster until they’re asked to reveal a “fun fact” about themself as part of a work event icebreaker.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I can’t today. I have to sit in my room and make matters worse.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

“I’m at a point in my life where my favorite thing to do is nothing.”

Spotted on WhatsApp:

If you’re ever intimidated by someone just imagine them opening a Capri Sun.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and live for 150 years. Lesson learned.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Divorce is so weird. Why do I have an ex-aunt?

Making waves on Pinterest:

Setting up a camera to go and pretend you just woke up from bed is another level of mental illness.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Without the words ‘literally’ and ‘like,’ I am nothing.

Shared recently on Discord:

Who is this Rorschach guy and where did he get all the pictures of my parents fighting?

Freshly posted on Reddit:

So many people say they love their Roomba, but you never see them set it free.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Sorry, can’t. I took my bra off and threw it across the room an hour ago. There’s no coming back from that.

Just landed via Messenger:

You know who else works in mysterious ways? Me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I identify as a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I go down when you really want me.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

How to write complaints: “Dear customer service, first of all, you should know that I am typing this with my middle finger.”

Shoutout to myself for ruining my own life.

My dad once sneezed so hard that he set every clock back two hours.

I’ve got a soft heart and a savage mouth. I’m like a Hallmark card written by Gordon Ramsay.

My fondest childhood memory is being able to sleep through the entire night and waking up rested.

Your secret is safe with me and my sister.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨