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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Relationship status: my sex robot filed a restraining order.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

After an hour on this team meeting I’m not wanting to be a team player anymore.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Why is incognito mode always associated with freaky shit? I use it to search up very obvious questions, so there’s no record of me looking dumb.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

I put my pants on like everyone else. With hope they still fit.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

God: “I genuinely don’t remember making you all this stupid.”

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

So, if I take out a reverse mortgage on my house does that mean I’ll own a bank after 30 years?

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Sorry, I had to cancel plans. The prophecy said so.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

If a girl sends you selfies and you don’t compliment her, she should be allowed to electrocute you.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Babymaking music but it’s the Benny Hill theme song.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

I yelled at my cat and the other cats yelled at me. Like wow, okay, pay my mortgage then.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,493

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Snapchat:

Naturally introverted, selectively extroverted.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Apologies for the delays. The suitcase smashing machine has broken down, so we’re having to smash suitcases by hand.

Just landed via Discord:

Pouring an ice-cold glass of anxiety.

Just shared via TikTok:

Pouring rain, football on TV, empty house; the stuff dreams are made of.

Spotted on Threads:

For whom the doom scrolls!

Freshly posted on Facebook:

If craziness could fly, some people would have their own airport.

Spotted on WeChat:

I don’t want to sleep like a baby, I want to sleep like a cat. 14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I hate it when I imagine how a conversation will go and then in the actual conversation the person goes off script. That’s not your line, man.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Dear women, when you’re not around we load the dishwasher properly.

Spotted on WeChat:

My wife rearranged the kitchen cabinets, and now I’ll never eat again.

I just tried on my summer wardrobe. The only thing I managed to get into was a state of panic.

I just tried on my summer wardrobe. The only thing I managed to get into was a state of panic.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, it sounds like your summer wardrobe is giving you a run for your money! Maybe it's time to switch to a "panic-free" collection of flowy dresses and elastic waistbands. Who needs buttoned-up stress when you can have breezy relaxation, right?

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on YouTube this month:

Made the mistake of believing what I was told again.

58 shares on Instagram this month:

The goose: Canada’s most violent saxophone.

96 shares on Slack this month:

Being bilingual means stuttering in both languages.

23 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“I’ve never done parkour, but I have chased a toddler with an open Sharpie through the house.”

28 shares on Reddit this month:

Jingle all the way? In this economy?

96 shares on TikTok this month:

Every day, I go to work and draw a little tick on everyone who didn’t say goodbye to me the day before.

20 shares on Snapchat this month:

No email needs to tell me not to reply.

14 shares on Pinterest this month:

The problem with expensive things is that you tend to want them.

63 shares on Threads this month:

I welcome change as long as nothing is altered or different than before.

24 shares on X this month:

I think the most financially irresponsible thing I’ve done is get my kids to like sushi.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

When pregnant women are around, watch what you say. Nowadays, anything will be used as a name.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Obviously, I’m gonna upload pictures with filters and in my best angles. If you wanna see the ugly side of me, come to my house, but bring ice cream.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My ducks: in a row. My elephant: addressed. My eggs: several baskets. My bigger fish: fried.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The answer is always no, I did not get enough sleep.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My fight or flight response has frequent flyer miles.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If a stranger starts talking to me in an elevator I say “I don’t want to talk in case we get stuck and I have to eat you” that usually shuts them up.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Current state of politics: The circus is on fire but the monkey is fine.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Jewelry stores should just be like: Whether you’re trying to be nice or trying to get laid, we got you covered.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, you’re drunk. Ducks don’t talk.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

You guys ever play a game for hours straight? You start hallucinating the sounds.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,474

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Instead of calling it the John I’m going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Seriously? I came out of hibernation for this?

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

The inventor of autocorrect walked into a bar and ordered a bear.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Sometimes uncontrollable laughter is all you need to get the millions of thoughts out of your head.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

I love you to the refrigerator and back.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

If you’re sleep-deprived and type the symptoms into Google, you’re as good as dead.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Your ex is ruining someone else’s life now. You are safe.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

As everyone was arguing about politics, no one saw me leave with the cake.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Whenever my hormones try to get me to reproduce after all, I go to IKEA and watch the goings-on there. After that, I’m good again.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

I’m gonna start sending women unsolicited pizza pics.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

We get it, comma, you went to Oxford.

Just shared via Telegram:

If you love someone, let them go. If they come back with snacks, it was always meant to be.

Making waves on X:

Self-checkout is amazing for introverts until the machine breaks and two employees have to come fix it while you wait.

Just shared via Twitch:

If politicians can text my cell phone asking for money, I should be able to text them directly with policy suggestions.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Honestly, will never top the year I told everyone I was going to be Amelia Earhart for Halloween, and then didn’t show up to the party.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Everyone’s gangster until they use a pen that is satisfyingly smooth and fun to write with.

Just shared via Instagram:

“I’m interested in the divorce rate for couples who sleep in queen versus king beds.”

Making waves on Reddit:

If I like you I keep you close, if not I keep you at a distance so I can mime squishing your head between my thumb and forefinger.

Just shared via Messenger:

Looks fade but dark, twisted, inappropriate humor is forever.

Just landed via WeChat:

Whenever I lose my faith in justice, I look at the high school beauties from back then today. Then I’m fine again.

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