I know it’s true because the people on the internet said so.

I know it’s true because the people on the internet said so.

Commentary:
Ah, the timeless wisdom of the internet – where facts are born, rumors flourish, and cats reign supreme! 🌐🙈 Trusting everything you read online is like believing all the gossip in a soap opera – just grab your popcorn and enjoy the show! 🍿😄 #FakeNews #InternetTruths

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New funny quotes β†’

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Trending Funny Quotes πŸ‘‡

  • Apologies about the delay to your flight. We’re just waiting for one 3D printed part, but apparently a ‘fuselage’ takes a little time.

    Commentary:
    “Attention passengers! 🛫✈️ We apologize for the delay – apparently, our aircraft just can’t take off without that one fancy ‘fuselage’ part, which seems to be stuck in the future with its 3D printing! 🤖🕰️ Hang in there, we’ll get you soaring through the skies in no time! 😅”

  • Don’t talk to me unless you are a ham sandwich.

    Commentary:
    Well, well, well, it seems this person is only accepting the most essential conversations! 🥪 Better be prepared with two slices of bread and some cured pork before attempting to engage with them. Who knew a ham sandwich could be the key to unlocking intriguing discussions? 🤔😂 #SandwichTalksOnly

  • If you start a sentence with “Let me reiterate…”, I’m gonna ignore it the second time too.

    Commentary:
    “Let me reiterate: If you start a sentence with ‘Let me reiterate…’, we’re already in a cycle of repetition as endless as a broken record 🔄🙉 #IgnoredAgain”

  • I named my dog “5 Miles,” so I can tell people I walk 5 miles every day.

    Commentary:
    “Who needs a fitness tracker when you have a cleverly named dog like ‘5 Miles’? It’s the perfect excuse to skip the gym and just let your furry friend do all the work. Just remember to keep up the facade when someone asks about your workout routine!”

  • Apparently it’s inappropriate to yell out β€œShots, shots, shots, shots” while your child’s getting immunizations at the pediatrician’s office.

    Fun Fact or Trivia:
    Did you know that the world’s first vaccine was created by Edward Jenner in 1796? He used material from cowpox lesions to protect against smallpox! 🐄💉 Vaccines have since saved millions of lives and are a crucial part of public health. So next time you’re at the doctor’s office, remember that a little humor can lighten the mood, but it’s all about keeping those germs away! 😂✨

    Commentary:
    “Who knew that the doctor’s office isn’t the place for a vaccination-themed party chant? 🤷‍♂️ Maybe save the shots for the bar after the appointment! 🥂💉 #ParentingFail”

  • God: “You’re all a bunch of bastards and I should never have created you.”

    Commentary:
    Oh boy, looks like even God is having second thoughts about his creation! 👀😂 Maybe he’s regretting not reading the user manual before hitting the “create” button! 🤷‍♂️ Let’s hope a software update can fix this glitch! 🤖 #DivineComedy