Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

What does international law say about a third Margarita?

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Fancy restaurants are self-esteem destroyers because good luck not leaving an embarrassing stain on the white table cloth. Ever.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Mocktails are awesome because they ask the question ‘how much could juice cost?’

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

The fact it costs $15 to get a basic meal at a fast-food restaurant now is comical.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

I think during winter we should also get to work less hours in a day, just like the sun.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

You were promised to me 3,000 years ago.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

My therapist said I should face my fears. So I turned my phone back on.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Are people born with photographic memories or do they take time to develop?

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

I love making the whole conversation so awkward that the most anyone can say after is “so yeah…”

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

A little mystery is the sweetest seduction.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,710

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

One person’s logic is another one’s “what the heck?”

Shared recently on Reddit:

We all have that person who insists on using a blanket on the couch, no matter the weather.

Just landed via Telegram:

People are too judgmental these days… I can tell just by looking at them.

Seen just now on Reddit:

The cost of living has gotten so high, I’m thinking about having a nap for dinner.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

When is a robot gonna take over my job? Please?

Making waves on Threads:

ROMO (relief of missing out)

Seen just now on Telegram:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying seems to be working.

Making waves on Twitch:

I love how we didn’t raise the minimum wage because it would make food more expensive, but then just made the food more expensive anyway.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I’ve convinced myself bumblebees don’t sting because they’re too fluffy and cute.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

First date idea: you bring me coffee in bed, and we snuggle all morning.

I know it’s true because the people on the internet said so.

2 weeks ago

Witty text highlighting internet rumors with a playful, humorous tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the timeless wisdom of the internet – where facts are born, rumors flourish, and cats reign supreme! 🌐🙈 Trusting everything you read online is like believing all the gossip in a soap opera – just grab your popcorn and enjoy the show! 🍿😄 #FakeNews #InternetTruths

humor, i, internet, irony, know, people, true, truth

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on Threads this month:

Whenever my hormones try to get me to reproduce after all, I go to IKEA and watch the goings-on there. After that, I’m good again.

24 shares on Telegram this month:

If you have a pure heart, you can make pretty much any non-baking meal off just vibes and intuition.

87 shares on Twitch this month:

Soon as vampires become real, I’m first in line for my bite.

71 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sorry to interrupt your scrolling, but I hope life gets better for you.

15 shares on Reddit this month:

I woke up deciding to incorporate the parkour lifestyle into my daily life then reconsidered as I fell over again putting my jeans on.

39 shares on Facebook this month:

One of the best examples of someone posing a question that they already know the answer to is the WeightWatchers website asking me if I accept cookies.

99 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m gonna put “CEO of Blockbuster Video” on my resume because who are they gonna call to confirm?

57 shares on X this month:

Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve always known I wanted to be a woman with a lot of money when I grew up.

40 shares on X this month:

“Don’t shoot your gun at the hurricane” the government says. I’ll do my own research, thanks.

27 shares on Twitch this month:

I like that they put all that stuff outside for you to look at when you’re on a walk.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If a vegetarian who eats fish is a pescatarian, is a vegetarian who eats chicken called a poultrygeist?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t have any patience because it takes too long.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Croutons feel like an apology. “Sorry we gave you salad. Have some consolation toast.”

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Breakups are hard, but have you ever been disappointed in the food you ordered?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve reached a point in my life where if I can’t find parking, I’m just going to go home.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely responded to my telepathic messages.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Enjoy your 30s, because in your 40s, your first check engine lights come on.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I could be staring at my hand locking my front door, and I still won’t feel 100% sure my front door was locked.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The smarter you are, the more important it is for you to figure out how to think less.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Went to bed with wet hair and woke up looking like I might know a lot about astrophysics.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,363

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

I might not put the sparkle in your eyes, but I’ll definitely put the “WTF” wrinkles in your forehead.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Having a crush on a girl makes you think things like, yes, let me make more money.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

“We will go ahead and make these changes if we don’t hear from you before Friday” is such an elegant way to solve problems.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

They should invent a type of situation that improves.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Yes, liquor store clerk, I do need help. But I decided to come here instead.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Noise-canceling headphones aren’t enough, I need everyone to shut up.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Have I made bad decisions when I was drunk? Sure. But have the sober ones been any better? Not really.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Short men store so much anger in their little body.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Caffeine isn’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat a gun.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

I really hope my house is haunted and not in need of structural repairs.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

Airport security asked me if I’ve seen anything unusual. I just paid $18 for a coke & a sandwich. Let’s start with that.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Straighten your back and drink some water, you dehydrated banana.

Just shared via Discord:

I like when the rain is misty and you get to feel like a grocery store broccoli for a little while.

Trending via Slack:

Ah yes, my abandonment issues due to all the abandonment.

Just landed via Reddit:

I want to sleep but my brain won’t stop talking to itself.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Do you also watch porn until the end to see if they end up getting married?

Making waves on WeChat:

Looks like it’s just you and me tonight, family size Toblerone.

Spotted on Snapchat:

The older I get, the more I understand why roosters just scream to start their day.

Trending via Snapchat:

Why do Marvel movies need 3 hours to accomplish what The Powerpuff Girls did in 11 minutes?

Just shared via Slack:

Awkwardly stares into the abyss in between meetings.

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