Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I think my new neighbors are creeps. They seem to be looking into my window every time I’m looking out my window to see what they are doing.
  • Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed and cleaned everything thoroughly. Today I’m putting the cockroach in the bathroom.
  • Did the people you had a crush on always like you back or are you funny?
  • My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.
  • I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
  • If my fingers don’t motion like scissors snipping when I ask for a haircut at the salon, how will they know what I mean?