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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Waking up has backfired on me so many times.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Scientists say humans are the most evolved, but bears get to get fat all summer and then sleep for four months, so who’s really ahead.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

It’s funny how cats have ears on top of their head, but don’t use them.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

“I’m at that stage of Christmas shopping where I start buying myself presents.”

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

We’d all look younger if we just avoided young people.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Y’all ever feel like your mouth is stupid but your mind is smart? Like you’re intelligent but you can’t express it when you’re speaking? It’s so frustrating.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

If you don’t fall in love with me, I’ll write poetry about you and then you’ll regret it.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

38% of being a dad is sitting in a car, looking at your watch, and waiting for everybody else to come out.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Watching “Dirty Dancing” as a teenager: Damn right, no one puts Baby in a corner. Watching “Dirty Dancing” as an adult: This girl is a brat and needs a lesson.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

“You just want an easy life.” Should I want a difficult one?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,576

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

Good morning to everyone except my baby, who already said good morning to me at 1 a.m., 3 a.m., and 5:46 a.m.

Breaking via TikTok:

Please stop adding touchscreens to cars. Most of these idiots can barely drive as it is.

Breaking via Telegram:

Spotted on Slack:

My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors.

Spotted on Discord:

I got my superpowers when I was bitten by a radioactive idiot.

Going viral on WeChat:

Whoever said “out of sight out of mind” never lost a spider in the bedroom.

Breaking via Threads:

The sexual tension between me and buying more books.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Oh, to live in simpler times, when there was nothing to do but sit by the seashore and contemplate the miracle of existence.

I like my money where I can see it: hanging in my closet.

5 days ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote about fashion humorously suggesting money is best kept hanging in a closet.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs a bank account when you can just walk into your closet and feel like a millionaire? 💸👗 #FashionistaFinance"

closet, fashion, humor, i, joke, money, spending, visibility, wealth

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94 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When the Olympics finally introduces the event “Dropping your phone and very nearly catching it but not quite” then you’ll all see me shine.

46 shares on Reddit this month:

“This too shall pass!” Okay, but like, when exactly?

78 shares on Discord this month:

I hate it when you ask what you thought was a simple question in a meeting at work, and it turns into another meeting.

60 shares on TikTok this month:

When does hibernation actually begin? I wanna take part this year.

75 shares on X this month:

Sharpening pencils at the bin was the biggest link-up.

88 shares on Instagram this month:

Don’t scare me, I fart easily.

92 shares on Instagram this month:

I already want to take a nap tomorrow.

95 shares on YouTube this month:

Got a job rejection, saw the company post the same job again, so I applied again. I decide when we’re done.

42 shares on X this month:

I hate when people say “It could be worse” because it could be better, too.

40 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I used to party all night. Now I check the weather forecast for the next day to see if it’s a good laundry day.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

If you’re a dude and you’re having a bad day, just remember, no one cares.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Smash Mouth was so right, the years really do start coming and they don’t stop coming.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Hey girl, do you like my signals? I mixed them myself.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry I said “Awooga” when you took off your clothes. Do you still want to have sexy time?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Tequila won’t fix your life, but it’s worth a shot.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

I’m at the age where an uncomfortable bed will have me injured for a couple of days.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Be the reason someone burns sage.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Not many quicksand-related deaths since the 1970s. Thank God the authorities got that nightmare under control.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

In a previous life I may have been a carrier pigeon, in that all I ever think about is going home.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

There’s no-one who can get more drunk on power than the admin of a village Facebook group.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

I actually think it’s quite beautiful that you have to be the one to save yourself.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

My kidnappers sent me back early with a full apology, some money, and several of their fingers.

Trending via Threads:

Be yourself cause no one wants to be like you!

Shared recently on Instagram:

I had zero respect for my boss until he started appearing exclusively by hologram.

Trending via Facebook:

Having a dirty mind and an innocent face is truly a blessing.

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Activity Log ✨

I like my money where I can see it: hanging in my closet.

I love saying “sounds good” at work, and no shit be sounding good.

I’m sorry for setting the impossible standards that the rest of you try to live up to.

“Do you have any hobbies?” Lately, I’ve been really into panicking.

Mini skirts are so cute and fun, like, oops, my ass is out.

I’m at the age where unnecessary noise be pissing me off.

I miss when bills had nothing to do with me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I like my money where I can see it: hanging in my closet.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I love saying “sounds good” at work, and no shit be sounding good.

I’m sorry for setting the impossible standards that the rest of you try to live up to.

“Do you have any hobbies?” Lately, I’ve been really into panicking.

Mini skirts are so cute and fun, like, oops, my ass is out.

I’m at the age where unnecessary noise be pissing me off.

I miss when bills had nothing to do with me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨