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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

The Epstein files are real, but they can’t figure out how to convert them to a PDF.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Interpretive dance is the best way to answer stupid questions.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

My favorite yoga pose is the one where you eat a sandwich.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Had chicken and egg for dinner because I wanted to eat the whole family.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

How come it’s called “thrift store shopping” instead of Goodwill hunting?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Please don’t be mean to me, because I can be meaner and I hate being mean.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Parenting is yelling ‘you just had a snack!’ over and over until you give in and throw them another snack.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

My dental plan is, “I guess I’ll just chew on this side of my mouth from now on.”

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

I take issue with furniture that deliberately moves 1 inch when you’re in a rush to get by.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

“Please feel free to ignore this email!” Way ahead of you, buddy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,733

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

If anything I post makes you mad, just know that it pleases me.

Live now on Reddit:

For your own sanity, move on like you never knew them, because in reality, you never did.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Nobody told me that it takes 1-2 business days to put a snow outfit on a toddler.

Just landed via WeChat:

There is always enough for the needy, there is never enough for the greedy.

Going viral on TikTok:

The actors who signed on to that first Avatar movie have job security like no other in Hollywood.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

My life coach told me I didn’t make the team.

Spotted on Threads:

Imagine she’s home alone, bored out of her mind, and she STILL won’t put that laundry away. She is me.

Shared recently on Discord:

I don’t remember what I wanted to be when I grew up, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a broke, stressed-out, over-thinker with no clothes that fit.

Making waves on Discord:

Grocery shopping before Christmas is a nightmare. My milk expired while I was waiting in line.

Spotted on TikTok:

The best part about your kids being sick is you get to see exactly how shitty you’re going to feel in 48 hours.

I like to push myself out of my comfort zone by sometimes sitting on the other end of my sofa.

Humorous saying about stepping out of comfort zone with a playful sofa twist.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Stepping out of your comfort zone one couch cushion at a time! 🪑 Sometimes the bravest adventures involve moving a whole 3 feet away from your usual spot. 😄 #SofaJourney #LivingOnTheEdge

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on X this month:

The 70s, 80s, and 90s were the best decades – so many memories, no evidence.

85 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Apparently, throwing the remote against the wall didn’t help recharging the batteries.

35 shares on WeChat this month:

Eight times a day, I ask myself which object in the office will hurt me enough so that I can go home, but at the same time won’t hurt too much.

64 shares on LinkedIn this month:

On my way to Mordor. You nerds need anything?

66 shares on Slack this month:

Relationship status: he escaped.

24 shares on YouTube this month:

My Saturday was going really well, until I realized it’s Sunday!

83 shares on WhatsApp this month:

There’s an epidemic of people just staring at their phones in their parked cars.

40 shares on X this month:

The lion doesn’t concern himself with much of anything these days.

25 shares on Twitch this month:

Females be cheating in healthy relationships, but are faithful in toxic ones.

68 shares on Facebook this month:

I don’t really care how you met your partner. Tell me about how you met your nemesis.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Both my wife and my doctor said no more jumping on the bed. But they don’t get it. They don’t know what it’s like to live with the Monkey Instinct.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I just can’t watch football, there’s too much “penetration in the backfield” for me to not giggle like an immature maniac.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a self-checkout where someone else scans the items and puts them in a bag.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I am AOL Instant Messenger years old.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not religious but I know there’s a hell because Monopoly exists.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I like running because it’s cheaper than paying for a gym membership. If the gym wants the money I owe them, they’ll have to catch me.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Good friends don’t let their friends do stupid things alone.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter sucks so much, but randomly there are such funny tweets, so I wait, like a frog, for one delicious fly.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Me at a nightclub: Where are the chairs?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

One day you’re young and fun, and the next you’re saying, “I wonder how old this tree is.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,402

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

We could all be hibernating right now but noooooo we have to be “adults” with “responsibilities”.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Adding geologist to my resume after hitting rock bottom.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

If you live in the same hemisphere as me, you’ve probably already heard me sneeze.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

“You don’t load the dishwasher right,” I said to my wife just before it permanently became my job.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

I recently discovered “movies.” They’re usually like an hour and a half long, and a pretty good way to kill time. Check it out.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

To steal from one is plagiarism, to steal from many is research.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Sure, money can’t buy happiness, but it can definitely buy a jet ski… and have you ever seen a sad person on a jet ski?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Oh my God, “unc” means uncool. I thought it meant uncle. Like you’re carrying the energy of someone’s weird uncle.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

A marriage is about solving problems together, you know, those problems you wouldn’t have if you were single.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

I’m so old and have never even met a woman named Jolene. I’d really like to find her, though. She can have my man.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your dog can stay home for the hour you’re at the grocery store or restaurant.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Washing your face and water going down your elbow is so sickening.

Making waves on WeChat:

Hanging out with your parents as an adult is so interesting, cause it’s like, “Oh, so that’s why I’m like this.”

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Eating cold ravioli counts as breakfast if you’re still wearing yesterday’s clothes.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Friends with benefits but the benefits are you getting me an internship with your father’s network.

Just landed via Reddit:

I appreciate the people that interact with me and I really appreciate the ones that don’t.

Going viral on Slack:

“What’s wrong with you?” Right now or in general?

Going viral on Threads:

I withdraw my argument. I didn’t realize you had a meme to back you up.

Going bananas on Slack:

A hot coffee and a crispy bagel doesn’t change anything but it can’t hurt.

Going viral on Threads:

He’s making a list, he’s checking it twice, he’s leaving the store, he still forgot milk.

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