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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

If I’m giving you attention, feel blessed. My real passion is ignoring people.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

After having a week off, my boss returns to work today. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Rudolph, with your nose so bright, help me find my phone tonight.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

I like my bacon like I like my men, slightly burnt and crispy, and probably killing me slowly.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Promising I won’t tell anyone your secret doesn’t include my husband. He’s basically my diary.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Guy inventing jogging: how can I suffer, but with music?

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

A good relationship is when she is by your side during bad times to tell you that none of this would have happened if you had just listened to her.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

The thumbs up emoji is a nice way to tell someone not only did you receive their message, you’re also done with the conversation.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Santa keeps a pair of mounted antlers over his fireplace to keep the reindeer from unionizing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,739

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

If you love someone, let them go. If they come back with snacks, it was always meant to be.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew I would be fraught with melancholy and nostalgia.

Seen just now on X:

I’m brave but not “order something different from the restaurant menu” kind of brave.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Girl, you gotta try this healing potion. It’s called beer.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

New term for people with jobs: emploids.

Just shared via WeChat:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here making love.

Just shared via Threads:

Stretching is not enough. I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

Live now on Telegram:

Called off work. Feeling fat and wearing jeans.

Just shared via Threads:

You are closer to the street than you will ever be to any billionaire.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Demi Lovato is short for demilitarized love potato.

I love airports because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.

7 days ago

Playful quote about breaking social norms at airports with pizza and wine in casual attire.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Airports: where societal norms take a vacation! 🍕🍷✈️ Who says you can't start your day with pizza and wine in comfy track pants? It's practically a rite of passage in the world of jet-setting. Embrace the freedom and indulge in all the guilty pleasures before takeoff!

airport, alcohol, love, pizza, wine

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Everybody looks sexier when they are happy.

86 shares on Pinterest this month:

Are you gonna confess your undying love for me or what, bro?

17 shares on Discord this month:

We should thank heaven for nipples. Without them boobs would be pointless.

83 shares on Instagram this month:

Congrats to my tween for graduating at the top of his class from eye roll university.

79 shares on Twitch this month:

In my 20’s: why is eating healthy such a big deal anyways. In my 40’s: oh.

85 shares on Discord this month:

“PTO” stands for “prepare the others” because you’re not gonna be there.

80 shares on Slack this month:

Saying “Who is it?” when the doctor knocks on the exam room door.

92 shares on Instagram this month:

There’s a disconnect between the decibel level of my car singing and my talent.

87 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s really hard to come back after a poorly executed high five.

87 shares on YouTube this month:

The iPhone alarm is so effective that you wake up before it goes off, so you don’t have to listen to such an unbearable noise.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

May the algorithms be with you.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t hate you, I just don’t want to see you alive.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Half of all the problems in life can be solved by duct tape. For the rest, you’re gonna have to reboot that computer.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time I buy vegetables it’s a triumph of hope over experience.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t date coworkers. Being the hot coworker nobody at work has a chance with is always the best role to play.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Sure I collect antiques, if you count the late-century spices in my pantry.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Airlines when they need to change your flight: here’s a complimentary napkin. Airlines when you need to change your flight: that’ll be $8700.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Brave of you to assume you can resist my good looks.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Any tips on being smart? For someone just getting into thinking.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I just read a thing that said I should compliment myself on my decisions, regardless of the outcome. No thanks, I’m not the government.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,270

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Another Monday that no one asked for.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

The 69 obsession turning into 67 is a recession indicator.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

In terms of wasting time, today was very productive.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

What is that job called where you put the little stickers on fruit? I think I would be good at that.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

I can’t believe someone ran over my neighbors loud motorcycle tomorrow morning.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Relationship Status: just tried to pet my dog and he turned his head so I pretended I was reaching for a leaf that was next to him.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

People who have apartment windows that face the street and put their Christmas trees in them, thank you for your service.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Relationships are only serious when photos are posted by a man.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I told a joke during a Zoom meeting today. Nobody laughed. It turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Welcome to adulthood: 9pm is midnight now.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Me: God, please stop giving me your toughest battles. God: You just have to empty the dishwasher.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Having hoes in different area codes sounds really exhausting.

Trending via Snapchat:

No rizz, just pretty eyes and many unsettling things to say.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Watering plants qualifies as a hobby.

Going viral on Instagram:

New York is so awesome. Like, yes, let’s spend $108 for breakfast and walk past homeless people freezing.

Trending via Threads:

I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time.

Trending via Twitch:

Taking off my house pajamas to put on my errands pajamas.

Making waves on Messenger:

It’s so hot the chipmunks are using my bird bath as a hot tub and requesting mimosas and the brunch menu.

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