Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I can’t wait until I’m old enough to pretend I can’t hear.
  • Throwing a spear at your enemy is a bad gamble. If you miss, you have no spear now and he’s just fine. He’s better than fine; now he has a spear.
  • Not to brag but I don’t even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.
  • Please don’t take illegal substances. Or at least, don’t take MY illegal substances.
  • Why can’t my fat leave me like everything else does?
  • Nearly choked on a carrot. A donut would never do that to me.