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Commentary:
"Oh, so he must have been a 'macrobiologist' then! 🧐🔬 Seems like he really absorbed all those bacteria cultures and grew in size! 🦠💪 Maybe he's been cultivating some super-sized germs in his lab! 🦠🔬😄"

bigger, expectation, humor, i, joke, lot, microbiologist, science, size, today

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My toxic trait is optimism.

0

2 months ago

humor, optimism, personality, personality trait, sarcasm, toxic, toxic trait, trait
Imagine hating me and im just at my desk spinning reeaaally fast in my office chair.

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2 months ago

activity, chair, desk, fast, hate, humor, imagine, just, me, office, spinning, work
Watching “Dirty Dancing” as a teenager: Damn right, no one puts Baby in a corner. Watching “Dirty Dancing” as an adult: This girl is a brat and needs a lesson.

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2 months ago

adult, baby, brat, corner, dancing, dirty, Dirty Dancing, girl, humor, lesson, movie, needs, nostalgia, right, teenager, watching
I hate when people ask me what I meant by something. Listen, I have no idea. I’m as confused here as you are. We’re both learning what I’m about to say at the exact same time.

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2 months ago

ask, both, clarity, communication, confused, confusion, hate, here, humor, i, idea, insight, irony, learning, listen, me, meant, nonsense, people, same, say, something, time, understanding, wit
I’m at that age where someone can call me the wrong name and I’m just like “whatever, I’ll be Dan for a minute”.

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2 months ago

acceptance, age, call, humor, identity, just, me, minute, name, self-deprecation, someone, whatever, where, wrong, wrong name
I’m as single as a one Dollar bill, and I don’t need any change.

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2 months ago

bill, change, dollar, humor, i, independence, money, need, one dollar, relationship, self-worth, single

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on Messenger this month:

I made you something special for Mother’s Day, my kid threatened.

39 shares on Snapchat this month:

Why is Saturday over in 7 minutes and Sunday in 4 minutes, but Monday is 84 months long?

19 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t mean to brag, but I can forget what I’m saying while I’m saying it.

14 shares on Discord this month:

When I’m on hold and the song ends, I always expect someone to pick up the phone.

86 shares on Messenger this month:

I feel like I’ve skipped the whole ‘go out and have fun’ stage and went straight to being an 80-year-old woman.

81 shares on Twitch this month:

Don’t ask me why, but the older you get, the more you love coffee.

16 shares on Threads this month:

I could be staring at my hand locking my front door, and I still won’t feel 100% sure my front door was locked.

62 shares on X this month:

Here’s to a new year of making the same old mistakes, but with far more enthusiasm.

20 shares on Snapchat this month:

Went on a date with a guy who didn’t ask me any questions about myself, so it’s on him when he finds out about my husband.

72 shares on Telegram this month:

Bit strange that the same culture is responsible for both kissing and onion soup. You’d think they’d be incompatible.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

I may be a beginner at some things, but I have a black belt in shopping.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

I need to know the brand of toothbrush my neighbor has. I hear it buzzing sometimes an hour at a time and she’s clearly enjoying it.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

I’ll make you feel safe in that you’ll know you can outrun me if we are being chased by a murderer.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

I wish I loved anything as much as people love to say they are “thrilled” on LinkedIn.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

In general, I like company, but not when I am with my pizza.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

We’ve been talking about eating the rich for so long, they got over-ripe.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

I’m planning to eat the rich, but can I sub out fries for a salad?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

“You look tired”. No, I’m just ugly.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

The world contains protons, neutrons, electrons, and morons.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Being single: When you don’t have to wait for someone to watch the next Netflix episode.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

Terrifying if true: Her eyes lighting up a room.

Just landed via Reddit:

I don’t drink blood to stay young. I do it mainly for the lifestyle.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

If I could have immunity to anything I would pick calories.

Going viral on Messenger:

I’m sorry that I’m canceling plans. I made them last week when I assumed that, by now, I’d be a different person.

Freshly posted on Discord:

At least 80% of my day is spent holding back my inappropriate thoughts.

Going viral on Facebook:

Asking a film guy, “Who is that?” when Tom Cruise comes on screen just to feel something.

Just landed via YouTube:

If you talk about astrology, and no one stops you, it means you must be incredibly pretty.

Breaking via Discord:

My favorite animal is me when my feelings are hurt.

Going viral on TikTok:

One person’s logic is another one’s “what the heck?”

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

The sexual tension between me and vanishing without context is insane.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I met a microbiologist today. He was a lot bigger than I expected.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My toxic trait is optimism.

Imagine hating me and im just at my desk spinning reeaaally fast in my office chair.

Watching “Dirty Dancing” as a teenager: Damn right, no one puts Baby in a corner. Watching “Dirty Dancing” as an adult: This girl is a brat and needs a lesson.

I hate when people ask me what I meant by something. Listen, I have no idea. I’m as confused here as you are. We’re both learning what I’m about to say at the exact same time.

I’m at that age where someone can call me the wrong name and I’m just like “whatever, I’ll be Dan for a minute”.

I’m as single as a one Dollar bill, and I don’t need any change.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨