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Commentary:
"Oh, so he must have been a 'macrobiologist' then! 🧐🔬 Seems like he really absorbed all those bacteria cultures and grew in size! 🦠💪 Maybe he's been cultivating some super-sized germs in his lab! 🦠🔬😄"

bigger, expectation, humor, i, joke, lot, microbiologist, science, size, today

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

A guy in the parking lot saw me trip over my own feet so I yelled to him “I just quantum leaped into this body!”

1 month ago
body, clumsiness, feet, funny moment, guy, humor, i, just, leap, lot, me, moment, over, own, parking, parking lot, quantum, quantum leap, saw, self-deprecation, trip, unexpected, wit
Nobody is more cold-blooded than a toddler, just saying what they see and feel.

4 months ago
behavior, child, child behavior, cold-blooded, feel, honesty, humor, just, nobody, observation, saying, toddler
The human body requires so much maintenance. Who designed this thing?

1 month ago
body, design, human, human body, humor, irony, life, maintenance, much, question, thing
Tonight we shall read a passage from the old testicle.

1 week ago
activity, bible, Bible parody, humor, joke, night, night activity, old, parody, pun, read, reading, testicle, tonight, wordplay
Shoutout to myself for ruining my own life.

1 month ago
humor, irony, life, own, ruin, self, self-deprecation, shoutout
I would be very interested to hear from someone who is ILLEGALLY blind.

1 month ago
blind, hear, hearing, i, illegal, interest, someone

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

The lion does not concern himself with the check engine light.

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They did so well traumatizing us about teen pregnancy, I’m still traumatized as an adult.

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That depressing moment when you start your car to go to work and it doesn’t explode.

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Getting a lawn sign so people know what I think today.

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I do my best to kill everyone with kindness, but they don’t seem to be dying.

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I don’t want to be dramatic, but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Don’t argue with her. Just say “you remind me of my ex” then walk away.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and I’m like, cool, can one of you reach the top shelf for me.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

It was so windy today when I was walking to the gym that I got blown into the wine store.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Nobody views your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

Just landed via TikTok:

The subtle art of surviving this life with grace and dignity.

Making waves on Slack:

I am crumbling under the tyranny of constantly needing to ‘Create an Account’.

Spotted on Telegram:

I don’t “make friends”. I get adopted by extroverts and they make me do things.

Breaking via Pinterest:

If we “talk,” you ain’t single. We’re in a pending relationship. You’re in the cart.

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I met a microbiologist today. He was a lot bigger than I expected.

A guy in the parking lot saw me trip over my own feet so I yelled to him “I just quantum leaped into this body!”

Nobody is more cold-blooded than a toddler, just saying what they see and feel.

The human body requires so much maintenance. Who designed this thing?

Tonight we shall read a passage from the old testicle.

Shoutout to myself for ruining my own life.

I would be very interested to hear from someone who is ILLEGALLY blind.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

If you need time alone, just announce that you need help cleaning the cats litter box.

Petition to bring back payphones in public places. I don’t want to give my kid a phone, I want to give him a quarter.

100% of all babіes are unemployed. Pathetіc.

Before I drink, I eat liver so the liquor won’t know which liver to attack.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Fact: cats sit on your lap to dominate you.

My boss was like, “People working from home are just pretending to work,” and it’s like, dude, what do you think I’m doing in the office?

I love when people find out I meant every word I said.

Due to unforeskin circumcistances …

Went to the gym two days in a row. This is a fitness account now.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

All the wrong decisions in this country are based on the fact that my balcony faces out the back and so I can’t speak to the people.

Work meetings would be a lot more fun if they took place in a giant IKEA ball pit.

A wise man once said: “Yes, darling. You’re right.”

Nobody could stop me if I wasn’t tired all the time.

Sometimes I need a break from myself but it’s like, ugh, everywhere I go there I am.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I hate that I present as an independent woman who doesn’t need any help. It’s a facade. Help me.

iPad PR is so crazy because you think you absolutely need one until you get it.

Ever since I was little, I always knew I wanted to retire.

Coffee is better when you have no work.

When I was a kid, I thought cicadas were the sound sunshine makes when it’s real hot outside.

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I met a microbiologist today. He was a lot bigger than I expected.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

A guy in the parking lot saw me trip over my own feet so I yelled to him “I just quantum leaped into this body!”

Nobody is more cold-blooded than a toddler, just saying what they see and feel.

The human body requires so much maintenance. Who designed this thing?

Tonight we shall read a passage from the old testicle.

Shoutout to myself for ruining my own life.

I would be very interested to hear from someone who is ILLEGALLY blind.

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

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