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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡­ has bookmarked:

It’s a good thing Titanic is only a movie. A lot of people would’ve died.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡² has downloaded:

My ideal vacation would be to drop my family off at the airport and then have a week of peace and quiet.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡Ί has viewed:

December, give me a sweet ending for this year please.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Ύ has viewed:

Uh oh, said somethin’ weird. Better fix it by saying something even weirder.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡ͺ has downloaded:

I got 3 miles in before breakfast. That’s enough driving for the day.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡­ has downloaded:

“Your password is too weak!” Just wait until you see my impulse control.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡± has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40’s: See that kid dressed up like a cop? He is a cop.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ͺ has downloaded:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” Yeah, well, I just analyzed it from a Marxist perspective, and it was pretty obvious.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡· has viewed:

β€œHope this email finds you doing well!” The email found me, therefore I am unwell.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡­ has bookmarked:

Grab your own butt! Love yourself!

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

2316 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,478

Funny Quotes Topics

15,183

Funny Quotes Images

12,478

Updated

22 minutes ago

Users Online

3,451

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Going viral on Pinterest:

Don’t invite me if there’s nowhere to sit down.

Trending via Twitch:

Bit strange that the same culture is responsible for both kissing and onion soup. You’d think they’d be incompatible.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

WhatsApp shouldn’t just display “seen”, but also “lies” and “also writes with other girls”!

Broadcasted on X:

Randomly hearing your favorite song is more satisfying than putting it on yourself.

Just landed via TikTok:

I can easily spot a wolf in sheep’s clothing but this guy was dressed like my grandmother which threw me off.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

When people say, “Stop living in the past,” my thought in turn is, “But the music was so much better then!”

Shared recently on Facebook:

I now also have a device that tells me whether I’ve taken enough steps today. If I don’t make it one day, it barks and poops in my apartment.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I googled my symptoms and it turns out I just need this election to be over.

Just shared via Instagram:

Sometimes I just want a man to talk to me in the same voice he uses to talk to his dog.

Spotted on Threads:

I successfully avoided the red-eye flight and got the much milder pink eye flight.

I often choose gift bags instead of wrapping, not just out of laziness, but also because I have the fine motor skills of a drunken panda.

I often choose gift bags instead of wrapping, not just out of laziness, but also because I have the fine motor skills of a drunken panda.
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Commentary:
"I often opt for gift bags over wrapping paper because my dexterity is on par with a tipsy panda trying to perform brain surgery 🐼🎁 #ClumsyGiftGiver"

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

2316 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,478

Funny Quotes Topics

15,183

Funny Quotes Images

12,478

Updated

22 minutes ago

Users Online

3,433

Funny Quotes of the Month πŸš€

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡« has viewed:

Your coworkers are your friends; stop working and hang out.

Someone from πŸ‡ΆπŸ‡¦ has downloaded:

They should invent a small lifestyle change that has an instantaneous, huge payoff.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡© has copied:

I deliberately don’t go to bed early. I don’t want to look like I could be useful for anything the next day.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡© has copied:

That awkward moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, knock over a lamp, and land on the floor.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡Ώ has downloaded:

My husband threw away a perfectly good box as if we might not need it in 20 years.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡¬ has shared:

Walking on egg shells? In this economy?

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡Ί has downloaded:

Workplace Wrapped: you had 60k minutes of meetings this year that could’ve been an email.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡¦ has bookmarked:

On my way to Mordor. You nerds need anything?

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡¬ has copied:

If the man is silent, he is a thinker. If the woman is silent, the thinker is in big trouble.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡¨ has downloaded:

All I’m dealing with is broken people. Lord, if I’m a mechanic, please tell me.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Reported on LinkedIn:

I generally don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but I’m really good at it.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Sometimes, I wonder what my life would be like if I had a good haircut.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Some people peak in high school. I peaked when I realized I never had to see them again.

Freshly posted on X:

Our parents used to drop us off at school with no water bottle, no phone and no snacks, yet somehow we survived.

Just shared via Threads:

Everyone knows that Christmas is the celebration of the immaculate conception of Mariah Carey.

Just landed via TikTok:

Declined stepping on the scale at the doctor’s office because no one needs that kind of negativity in her life.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I’m going to be a printer today and just not work.

Seen just now on X:

Show me in the employee handbook where it says I can’t make weird noises in my cubicle.

Making waves on WeChat:

My boss told me to show initiative, so I decided to finish work early.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Without the words ‘literally’ and ‘like,’ I am nothing.

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