Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"I often opt for gift bags over wrapping paper because my dexterity is on par with a tipsy panda trying to perform brain surgery 🐼🎁 #ClumsyGiftGiver"

bag, choose, drunken, drunken panda, fine, fine motor skills, gift, gift bag, gift giving, giving, humor, i, just, laziness, motor, Panda, skills, wrapping

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

0

2 months ago

dying, fitness, health, health nut, hospital, humor, irony, lifestyle, lying, mortality, nothing, nut, sarcasm, someday, stupid
The gap in my resume is because I was trying to reach enlightenment for 5 years.

0

2 months ago

5, break, career, career break, enlightenment, gap, humor, i, job, job gap, meditation, reach, resume, resume gap, self-improvement, trying
Men will ask you zero questions about yourself, and then say they never met anybody like you.

0

5 months ago

ask, communication, conversation, dating, humor, irony, men, met, never, personality, question, questions, relationship, say, yourself, zero
Some 100 private jets will fly to Venice for Jeff Bezos’ wedding, and I recycle yoghurt cup lids.

0

2 months ago

bezos, contrast, cup, fly, humor, i, jeff, Jeff Bezos, jet, jets, lid, lids, luxury, private, private jet, recycling, Venice, wedding, yoghurt, yoghurt lid
This time last night, there was a spider so big in my bathroom it put me under a glass on a postcard and carried me out.

0

2 months ago

bathroom, big, exaggeration, fear, funny story, glass, humor, last, me, night, phobia, postcard, put, spider, story, time
I tried to embrace my flaws. They filed a restraining order.

0

2 months ago

embrace, flaw, flaws, humor, i, joke, order, restraining, restraining order, sarcasm, self-acceptance, tried

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on Messenger this month:

Kendrick inspires me to be a bigger, deeper, more passionate hater.

25 shares on Facebook this month:

Tested positive for needing a kiss.

90 shares on Twitch this month:

You ever notice how fans of the worst music always focus on the meanings of the songs instead of the actual music?

43 shares on Instagram this month:

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped school.

21 shares on WeChat this month:

Can someone please help me, I’m still at the Fyre Festival.

24 shares on Slack this month:

One of my greatest strengths is appearing busy so people don’t try to speak to me.

71 shares on Reddit this month:

When you’re feeling down, just turn up the music a little louder.

68 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Kinda sucks that the prize for washing your laundry is getting to fold your laundry.

74 shares on Reddit this month:

I need a horror movie where a kidnapper abducts a possessed child and finds out.

100 shares on Facebook this month:

Pouring Diet Coke directly into my gunshot wound.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

The police said I was a ‘suspect’, but I prefer being called a ‘person of interest’.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Bone broth? Oh, you mean skeleton soup.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

I miss being the age where the most devastating thing in the world was when my sandwiches got cut into squares instead of triangles.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Can’t believe I spent so many years of my life asking teachers if I was allowed to use the bathroom, and sometimes be told no. What the hell?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Are oranges called oranges because they are orange, or is the color orange called orange because an orange is orange?

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Switching between brainrot and deep intellectual talks is a skill that only a few acquire.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

I read classics because my FOMO is making me want to understand every reference ever.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

I always do my best sleeping in the 10 minutes before my alarm goes off.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

I wasn’t feeling well so I googled my symptoms. I either have allergies or I died two days ago.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

The trick is to be born in the right place and at the right time. If you mess that up, it gets tedious.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

I hate when I forget to say something during an argument. Like, hey, let’s argue again, I got better material now.

Spreading quickly via X:

All day I think about sleep but when it’s time to go to bed I don’t wanna.

Spotted on Reddit:

I’m often mistaken for an adult because of my age.

Trending via Telegram:

It’s funny how our brains remember that we have forgotten something, but not what we have forgotten.

Going bananas on Threads:

Me and the fellas making welcome gift baskets for the aliens.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I’m really getting tired of being a responsible adult.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I often choose gift bags instead of wrapping, not just out of laziness, but also because I have the fine motor skills of a drunken panda.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

The gap in my resume is because I was trying to reach enlightenment for 5 years.

Men will ask you zero questions about yourself, and then say they never met anybody like you.

Some 100 private jets will fly to Venice for Jeff Bezos’ wedding, and I recycle yoghurt cup lids.

This time last night, there was a spider so big in my bathroom it put me under a glass on a postcard and carried me out.

I tried to embrace my flaws. They filed a restraining order.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨