Commentary:
"Christmas: the season of expanding waistlines and expanding fibs to the little ones! 🎅🍪🤥🎄 Who says you can't indulge in both delicious treats and creative storytelling at the same time? It's all in the holiday spirit! 😉"
Funny gift giving quotes
There should be an Amazon driver at the Mall during the holidays so adults can sit on their lap and tell them what they want.
Commentary:
"Move over, Santa! 🎅🏻 Who needs the North Pole when you've got Amazon Prime? 🎁🚚 Let's make some cyber wishes come true, one delivery at a time! 🛍️💬 #NewAgeSanta"
When buying presents I like to think, what would Jesus have got you? So yeah, enjoy your fish sandwich.
Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old question: What Would Jesus Buy? 🤔 Turns out, it's fish sandwiches all around! 😄🐟 Bon appétit, my friend! Let the gift of mystery and deliciousness be with you! 🎁🥪"
I often choose gift bags instead of wrapping, not just out of laziness, but also because I have the fine motor skills of a drunken panda.
Commentary:
"I often opt for gift bags over wrapping paper because my dexterity is on par with a tipsy panda trying to perform brain surgery 🐼🎁 #ClumsyGiftGiver"
There should be a website where you post your wishes, and rich people who don’t know what to do with their money give you an anonymous gift.
Commentary:
Wishing for a "Sugar Daddy Santa" website where dreams come true and funds mysteriously appear! 🎅💸✨