Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Oh right, like you’ve never let your kids stay lost in a corn maze just a little longer.
  • If someone wants to spend time with you, they’ll let you know. Get rid of those people.
  • Podcasts are like babies, they’re too easy to create and not everyone should have one.
  • My kids think I’m going to miss them when they leave for college, but I’ll be busy drinking my coffee while it’s still hot.
  • Not to brag but I don’t even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.
  • I will be posting telepathically on all social media today. So if you think of something funny, that was me.