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Commentary:
"Looks like those muggers might need to schedule a rain check if they plan to mug you during your Tai Chi session 🤣👊 Seems like you'll have all the time in the world to prepare your moves at that pace 😉💪"

arts, chi, combat, community, community lessons, free, humor, i, irony, lessons, martial, martial arts, muggers, self-defense, slow, tai, Tai Chi, think, too

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It’s not ‘drinking alone’ if you’re at work.

0

2 months ago

alcohol, alone, drinking, humor, office, social, work
Garlic bread is my therapist now.

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2 months ago

bread, comfort, comfort food, food, garlic, garlic bread, humor, therapist
Never in the history of calming down has anyone calmed down after being told to calm down.

0

2 months ago

advice, after, being, calm, calming, frustration, history, humor, irony, never, told
You should be able to wash your hair and it stays washed. What do you mean I have to do it again?

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1 month ago

able, again, daily, daily routine, frustration, hair, humor, i, mean, routine, should, wash, washing
My dream is to buy a horse and race it. The horse will probably beat me but it’ll still be fun.

0

2 months ago

activity, aspiration, beat, buy, competition, dream, fun, horse, humor, me, race, still
I don’t weigh myself because most scales don’t know how heavy all the grudges I’m holding onto are.

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2 months ago

balance, grudge, holding, humor, i, irony, know, myself, psychology, scale, self-image, weight

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on Facebook this month:

I came home to find my boyfriend mopping the floor and my first thought was, “who’d he kill?”

81 shares on WeChat this month:

Blocking him isn’t enough. I need to watch his hairline recede.

63 shares on Messenger this month:

Off to my crying appointment (therapy).

49 shares on Discord this month:

What no one tells you about having kids is that within a few years you’re in possession of a lot of teeth that you have no idea what to do with.

75 shares on YouTube this month:

If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.

30 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Neurodivergents will be like, ‘I’m so tired,’ and then refuse to sleep because they haven’t had enough me time after surviving the day.

54 shares on YouTube this month:

Performative male is kinda just a rebrand of metrosexual, which is just a way to say a straight guy is a little bit faggy.

43 shares on Slack this month:

The good old days, when you didn’t have to charge your watch and it didn’t constantly remind you how fat you were.

31 shares on Threads this month:

A man will beg you to take him back just to act right for 5 days and 24 min.

25 shares on Pinterest this month:

The way men eat when they’re single is nothing short of dehumanizing.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

If David Bowie taught us anything, it’s that being a little weird is better than being forgettable.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Changing my relationship status from “Single” to “I give up.”

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

I forgot my password, failed the captcha and have been accused of being a robot. I don’t even know how to fight these allegations.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

When I moved into my new igloo, my friends threw me a surprise housewarming party. Now I’m homeless.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

The secret to being a private person is to overshare dumb shit so people think you are an open book but then not tell them any of the important details of your life.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

I’m sorry you had a bad experience at our restaurant. To make it up to you, here is a coupon for more of our terrible, terrible food.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Age regressing by coughing like a toddler, with my tongue out.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Cigarettes are a better networking tool than LinkedIn could ever dream of being.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

I wonder if people who spend all their time screaming on the internet know there are way more fun things to do.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying ‘Haven’t decided yet’ is typically a good response.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Inflation is actually a good thing, it means money is going viral.

Just shared via Slack:

I’m not making any resolutions. I think it’s time for the years to be better, not me.

Just shared via Facebook:

No one lies more than a parent who says, “We’ll see.” You know we’re not seeing anything.

Trending via WeChat:

Ever since I was little, I knew I wanted people to watch how they speak to me.

Trending via Messenger:

Calm down, engine light, if I can run on broken parts, so can you.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Welcome to adulthood. The weekend is your only time to catch up on everything, but also your only time to do absolutely nothing.

Trending via WhatsApp:

“Why are you so quiet?” Because I’m barely even here.

Just shared via Reddit:

Kinda rude that your reward for struggling through stuff is still dying at the end anyway.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Damn boy, are you a horoscope? Because I’m selectively focusing on the parts of you that make sense for me.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Patience and forbearance are those qualities you develop when there are too many witnesses.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I took some free community martial arts lessons for self-defense, but I’m starting to think Tai Chi is too slow for most muggers.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

It’s not ‘drinking alone’ if you’re at work.

Garlic bread is my therapist now.

Never in the history of calming down has anyone calmed down after being told to calm down.

You should be able to wash your hair and it stays washed. What do you mean I have to do it again?

My dream is to buy a horse and race it. The horse will probably beat me but it’ll still be fun.

I don’t weigh myself because most scales don’t know how heavy all the grudges I’m holding onto are.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨