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Commentary:
Looks like the universe had its cosmic stopwatch out, tapping its celestial foot impatiently as it waited for you to make your move! 🌌⏱️ Don't keep the cosmos waiting next time, it's got galaxies to attend to! 🚀🌠

expectations, humor, i, irony, me, reflection, self-discovery, timing, universe, waiting

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Unfortunately most of my sex noises come from trying to get out of bed.

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2 months ago

bed, humor, laughter, noise, sex, sex noise, struggle, trying, waking, waking up
If I had a boyfriend, I’d put him in a snow globe and shake it really hard.

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2 months ago

boyfriend, globe, hard, humor, i, ID, imagination, playful, put, relationship, shake, snow, snow globe
May the Force be with you… especially in Monday meetings.

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2 months ago

force, humor, meeting, meetings, Monday, motivation, star, Star Wars, wars, work
That “never again” talk with yourself after a certain experience is always funny.

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2 months ago

after, again, always, certain, experience, Funny, humor, never, reflection, self-awareness, self-talk, talk, yourself
I believe in you. I also believe in Bigfoot so don’t get too excited.

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2 months ago

adventure, belief, believe, Bigfoot, excited, excitement, humor, i, skepticism, too
I’m an adult, that’s why I can have Skittles for dinner.

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2 months ago

adult, candy, dinner, humor, i, indulgence, Skittles, why

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on Pinterest this month:

One or the other, Lord – I can’t be broke and heartbroken.

11 shares on Threads this month:

Gravity, at all times, is trying to pull your pants down.

23 shares on X this month:

When my husband says, “Let me ask my wife,” he’s just using me as an excuse to get out of whatever you’re asking him to do.

33 shares on Threads this month:

Not to brag, but I’m on hold and my call is important to them.

91 shares on X this month:

I remixed a remix, it was back to normal.

79 shares on Slack this month:

Love is like a bird. Sometimes flying around me but then moving on.

18 shares on Messenger this month:

To the people who have only fans, what’s stopping you from upgrading to an air conditioner?

13 shares on Messenger this month:

Behind every beautiful woman is either tummy issues, low iron, or poor eyesight.

43 shares on Instagram this month:

We really grew up in the best era to be a kid, and the worst era to be an adult.

20 shares on TikTok this month:

You unfollow me because you are afraid of falling in love with me. I know!

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

I don’t have red flags, I have fun facts.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

When Hulk wrecks shit he’s “incredible.” When I do it I’m “causing a scene” and “need to leave this place immediately.”

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

This year I’d like an advent calendar with 24 different tranquilizers.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Ever since I began sharing dad jokes, my followers have doubled in sighs.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

I often got called “an old soul” and such like by adults when I was a child. I think this was a kind way of saying I was a sad little freak.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Dogs will go through amazing effort to get a better view of your plate.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Only a couple more days until I come home and pretend I forgot about Valentine’s Day.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Going to IKEA if anyone needs some meatballs.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Spending money is too easy. For my bank account’s sake, I need a bridge troll to ask me three riddles before I’m allowed to buy something.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

The rainforest cafe won’t be authentic enough for me if they don’t bulldoze 40% of the restaurant while I’m there.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

Instead of hairstyles and make-up, there should be YouTube tutorials on polite behavior.

Shared recently on Threads:

Might make a living will because I don’t want my family deciding whether to pull the plug. My dad has a long history of being against wasting electricity.

Going viral on Discord:

Just got emotional imagining a worm emerging from its cocoon as a dragonfly and then got even more emotional remembering that’s not what they do.

Going bananas on X:

Sorry I didn’t text you back, I was pretending I didn’t see it and ended up actually forgetting.

Just landed via Telegram:

Dear deodorant manufacturers, please stop writing “72h” on your products. There are people who believe that. And they sit next to me on the bus. Always. All of them!

Broadcasted on Slack:

I once hated my job so much that I would come home from work and watch vlogs of people quitting their jobs, wishing it was me.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Do you remember when you looked through binoculars upside down and everyone was really far away? That was nice.

Live now on Twitch:

Fun prank: make people study for many years, and then don’t give them jobs.

Breaking via Messenger:

Life can be so beautiful, you just can’t get sober.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had a can opener that actually works?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I was waiting on the universe but the universe was actually waiting on me.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Unfortunately most of my sex noises come from trying to get out of bed.

If I had a boyfriend, I’d put him in a snow globe and shake it really hard.

May the Force be with you… especially in Monday meetings.

That “never again” talk with yourself after a certain experience is always funny.

I believe in you. I also believe in Bigfoot so don’t get too excited.

I’m an adult, that’s why I can have Skittles for dinner.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨