Trendy Funny Quotes

  • People found guilty of not using punctuation deserve the longest sentence possible.
  • You ask for a Swedish massage and then get mad when I roll meatballs on your back.
  • Just had a salad but it didn’t make me laugh like women in stock photos.
  • My superpower is holding onto stuff for years and throwing it away exactly one week before I need it.
  • The endings of Lost and Game of Thrones each cost me a television.
  • That awesome moment when you open the fridge and the first thing you see is the thing you wanted to eat.