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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

How soon into a new relationship should you let her know you’re an idiot?

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

The weather forecast should include the percentage of answers blowing in the wind.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Went to the toilet today without my cell phone. There are 245 tiles.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Can’t, trying to piece together today’s news from social media posts.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I booped your nose, but I was really hoping it was a mute button.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Yes, my sex drive is higher than my will to live, and what about it?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

That was the last cup of coffee in my life. From tomorrow I’ll be drinking straight from the pot.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

You gotta separate the art from the artist. Like, for example, sometimes the artist is really nice but their art sucks.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

There’s no way the Scooby Doo gang never found a dead body.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

A drone, but for seeing which fast food drive-thrus have the shortest line.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

4,005

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

She calls me Anthony Bourdain because I eat her parts unknown, no reservations.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Googled my symptoms and it turns out it’s just the politics.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Take my advice, I’m not using it.

Trending via YouTube:

In university, you can literally tell who had no freedom at home.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Cannabis has many benefits. For example, it makes you retarded. But in addition, it also makes you lazy. No worries though, it also makes you fat and insane.

Live now on Facebook:

Okay, this is getting ridiculous. It can’t just be the one guy. It’s gotta be a group of people pooping my son’s diaper.

Just shared via Telegram:

I changed my password to ‘incorrect’ so whenever I forget it, the computer tells me it’s incorrect, and I’m like, ‘Wow, you didn’t have to be so rude about it.’

Just shared via Reddit:

It’s time for basic human empathy to make a comeback.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Home is where the Wi-Fi connects automatically and no one chews loud.

Breaking via Reddit:

The “Wooooooooo” track from sitcoms should play whenever you kiss someone in real life.

I will selflessly protect my family from a life of diabetes by eating all the sweets myself.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Taking one for the team, one cookie at a time! 🍪 Who knew saving your family could be this delicious? 😂 #DiabetesDeputy"

diabetes, eating, family, humor, i, life, myself, sacrifice, selflessness, sweets

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I literally just went through something, and now I’m going through something else. What’s next?

0

2 months ago

anxiety, challenges, comedy, daily, daily struggle, else, going, humor, i, just, life, life challenges, next, overwhelm, relatability, something, stress, struggle, through
How do they know an animal is extinct? Like, have you really looked everywhere?

0

2 months ago

animal, everywhere, extinct, humor, know, nature, observation, question
My spirit animal is chasing his own tail.

0

2 months ago

animal, animal behavior, behavior, chasing, humor, own, playfulness, self-awareness, spirit, spirit animal, tail
I’m going to be a printer today and just not work.

0

2 months ago

day, day off, going, humor, joke, just, lighthearted, printer, procrastination, today, work
My back hurts too much to lean over anymore, going to have to resort to picking things up with a deep curtsy.

0

2 months ago

back, back pain, comedy, curtsy, deep, deep curtsy, going, humor, lean, leaning, leaning over, over, pain, physical, physical comedy, picking, picking up, things
Washing your face and water going down your elbow is so sickening.

0

2 months ago

daily, daily routine, elbow, face, going, humor, hygiene, relatable, routine, sickening, washing, washing face, water

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Me, in heaven: Can you take a photo of me sitting on that cloud?

35 shares on Facebook this month:

USPS tracking: Step 1: We don’t think it exists. Step 2: Delivered.

91 shares on Instagram this month:

Thank God they have medical marijuana in this state. I need it for my joints.

23 shares on Telegram this month:

Sleeping in now means waking up without the alarm clock, but still at the same time.

99 shares on X this month:

Dear Black Friday… We all have big TVs now, put the groceries on sale.

100 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m gonna start telling men I know a spot and it’s just me dropping them off at therapy.

25 shares on Slack this month:

49 shares on WeChat this month:

Everyone is getting pregnant or married, and I’m back to “What’s your favorite color?“

23 shares on Discord this month:

Girls really only want one simple thing; and that one thing is all of your attention.

26 shares on Twitch this month:

Gonna waterboard my houseplants so they know who’s the boss.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Washing my hands in the sink and then wiping them on my cat, like a towel.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

A poorly timed two-factor authentication request will be the thing that finally kills me.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Shoutout to Netflix for being the only one that checks in on me every few hours. “Are you still watching?” Yeah, babe, thank you for asking.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Grown men asking Grok if this is real.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

I’ve spent 80% of my adult life resetting my password.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Home is where you’ve left the shopping list.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Say what you want about online meetings, but there are few things more liberating than attending a disciplinary hearing naked from the waist down.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

“I’m pretty good with money unless I leave my house or have access to the internet.”

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

The main function of the little toe on your foot is to make sure that all the objects and furniture in the house are in the correct place.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Touch my butt, not my coffee.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Reddit:

I called the cops on my own party, because I was ready to go to bed.

Trending via Twitch:

I’m sorry I said “Awooga” when you took off your clothes. Do you still want to have sexy time?

Live now on Instagram:

Remember, for some unknown reason Santa doesn’t make batteries.

Shared recently on Instagram:

You can pronounce it “Nude Jersey” and no one will know.

Just landed via Snapchat:

The worst thing you can do when you notice your kids are playing nicely together is telling them that they’re playing nicely together.

Seen just now on Reddit:

God, please — if you don’t want someone to love me, at least make me a millionaire.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I think Bigfoot had it right, stay in hiding from all the shitty human beings.

Seen just now on Threads:

Born to say “are you f*****g stupid”, forced to say “wow, I’ve never thought about it like that before”.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Nice to finally get back that hour they stole earlier this year.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I’m going to write a book about all the things I should have done with my life. l’ll call it my oughtabiography.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I will selflessly protect my family from a life of diabetes by eating all the sweets myself.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I literally just went through something, and now I’m going through something else. What’s next?

How do they know an animal is extinct? Like, have you really looked everywhere?

My spirit animal is chasing his own tail.

I’m going to be a printer today and just not work.

My back hurts too much to lean over anymore, going to have to resort to picking things up with a deep curtsy.

Washing your face and water going down your elbow is so sickening.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨