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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

The way people who are really into each other look moments before kissing is so hot. It’s like seeing a glimpse of cannibalism.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped class.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Back in the good old days, we didn’t have to trim our toenails, they just got wore down naturally from running from dinosaurs.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

House sitting for friends while they’re out of town. Never knew my buddy kept a diary.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Ex’s be like “I gave you everything”. Yeah, trust issues.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

But that was my emotional support daylight.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

All of my fitness goals are within reach, but unfortunately, so are the crisps.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,634

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

Kim Kardashian wants her ashes to be scattered in the sea after her death. As if there wasn’t enough plastic there already.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

One of the best examples of someone posing a question that they already know the answer to is the WeightWatchers website asking me if I accept cookies.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Will someone please make me drink some water and limit my screen time?

Going viral on Slack:

Twitter is like talking to yourself in public and some random dude walking by agrees with you.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

You know when a donkey followed Shrek home and just kept talking? That’s what it’s like having kids.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

My morning routine includes 20 minutes of staring at the ceiling thinking about how tired I am and debating if I really need to live today.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I feel like a wildlife photographer when I spend hours trying to capture my teenager’s smile.

I won’t rest until a cure for insomnia is found.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"I never sleep, 'cause sleep is the cousin of death." – Nas 😴🚫💤 #InsomniacGoals

cure, determination, found, humor, i, insomnia, irony, rest, sleep

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I am not in a good place, geographically.

1 month ago
am, geography, good, humor, i, location, mindset, place
Need someone to feed me Doritos while I read, so I don’t mess up the pages. No weirdos.

1 month ago
activity, companionship, Doritos, feed, feed me, funny activity, i, me, mess, need, no weirdos, pages, read, reading, request, snack, someone, weirdos
I don’t do “casual.” I’m like an 18th-century vampire. When I fall in love, my devotion is boundless and eternal.

1 month ago
18th, 18th century, casual, century, devotion, eternal, fall, i, love, relationship, vampire
Hey bro, please stop using all the good skipping rocks at the river.

1 month ago
activity, bro, friendship, fun, fun activity, good, humor, outdoor, river, rock, rocks, skipping, skipping rock, stop
My laptop is overheating because I am doing a really good job.

1 month ago
am, computer, doing, good, heat, humor, i, job, joke, laptop, multitasking, overheating, productivity, tech, tech joke, technology, work
Half of all the problems in life can be solved by duct tape. For the rest, you’re gonna have to reboot that computer.

2 months ago
computer, duct, duct tape, humor, life, problems, reboot, rest, solution, tape

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Meteorologist: It’s going to get even hotter. Me, on fire: WHAT?

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Absolute worst time of year to have a secret family. Hands down.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Giving out false information so I know who the leak is.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Maybe Monday is more scared of us than we are of it… we don’t know.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

If I worked for UPS, there would be a 100% chance I’m falling out that open door when I turn a corner too fast.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

A Jackie Chan fight scene where he’s in an IKEA warehouse and he fights off dudes with furniture pieces, but by the end he’s accidentally assembled it all into a complete Malm bedroom set.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Welcome to Netflix. We have every movie but the one you actually want to watch.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Most guys probably just have a foot fetish because their first girlfriend was a sock.

Seen just now on X:

My fight or flight response has frequent flyer miles.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Shall I cook, clean, or do the grocery shopping? Okay, reading it is.

Just landed via Instagram:

Only thing that can cure my depression is $500 million.

Just shared via X:

The echo in my house when it’s clean is unsettling. Better order more stuff.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Too many toilets have automatically flushed underneath me for me not to have reservations about self-driving cars.

Seen just now on Telegram:

“You’ve changed.” Yeah, I watched a new movie.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I won’t rest until a cure for insomnia is found.

I am not in a good place, geographically.

Need someone to feed me Doritos while I read, so I don’t mess up the pages. No weirdos.

I don’t do “casual.” I’m like an 18th-century vampire. When I fall in love, my devotion is boundless and eternal.

Hey bro, please stop using all the good skipping rocks at the river.

My laptop is overheating because I am doing a really good job.

Half of all the problems in life can be solved by duct tape. For the rest, you’re gonna have to reboot that computer.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I hate when I go to the kitchen looking for food, and all I find is ingredients.

Breaking news is really breaking me.

Quit keeping your enemies closer. No wonder you feel like shit.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

All of my fitness goals are within reach, but unfortunately, so are the crisps.

Tuesday is just Monday wearing a fake mustache.

It triggers the little girl in me when I feel like I’m not being listened to when I’m talking.

Fun fact: a person’s music taste can actually tell their intelligence level.

He’s an everything bagel… I’m just a nothing burger…

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

In an effort to keep our house clean before Thanksgiving, I’ve asked my family to go live somewhere else.

Please hesitate to get in touch with me.

Cats must think we’re so weird for constantly harvesting their poop.

Shouldn’t autocorrect be called autoassume?

You’d think a philharmonic orchestra would have at least one harmonica, but nope.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Do you ever want sleep but sleep doesn’t want you?

If someone ghosts you, respect the dead and never disturb them again.

I’m going to need to speak with the flowers about this.

Great minds think alike, but so do stupid ones.

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I won’t rest until a cure for insomnia is found.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I am not in a good place, geographically.

Need someone to feed me Doritos while I read, so I don’t mess up the pages. No weirdos.

I don’t do “casual.” I’m like an 18th-century vampire. When I fall in love, my devotion is boundless and eternal.

Hey bro, please stop using all the good skipping rocks at the river.

My laptop is overheating because I am doing a really good job.

Half of all the problems in life can be solved by duct tape. For the rest, you’re gonna have to reboot that computer.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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