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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

The Playstation is broken and the child has noticed that I live here too.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

The kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were pretty dumb if they couldn’t figure out that their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

First you’re cringe, then you’re the blueprint.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Never get in between a girl and her fries. It’s just common sense really.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

My cat and I talked it over and no we don’t think that I’m crazy.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

When life gives you lemons maybe think to yourself, “that’s really quite remarkable given how far I live from a climate capable of growing citrus.”

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

I told my wife the laundry on the couch ain’t gonna fold itself, so if y’all don’t hear from me later, she probably folded me like an omelet.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Don’t judge me on my likes, I’m confusing the algorithm.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Have you tried making guacamole about it?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,469

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on LinkedIn:

I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s like 7 years in a row now.

Going viral on Facebook:

After 25, you’re pretty much 30.

Trending via Slack:

Everyone has these three colleagues: The one who is always cold. The one who is always hungry. The one who is always tired. I am everything in one.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

“I’m not jealous of nobody but stay-at-home wives who are married to wealthy men.”

Spotted on Snapchat:

Making her wear those remote-controlled vibrating panties in public so I can inform her when I’m tired and want to leave the party.

Going viral on WeChat:

I don’t drink coffee all the time. I take breaks in between to make another one.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I am a person who wants to get a lot done, trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep in and take naps at times.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Life hack: put on an apron at home and people think you’re super busy doing important stuff even when you’re not.

Just shared via Instagram:

I’m far too underqualified for adult life, and I feel like I was promoted to manager far too quickly.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Phone dry, no food in the house, I keep dying in my game. I’m such a loser.

I won’t rest until a cure for insomnia is found.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"I never sleep, 'cause sleep is the cousin of death." – Nas 😴🚫💤 #InsomniacGoals

cure, determination, found, humor, i, insomnia, irony, rest, sleep

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Not to brag, but I just stood up without making a sound. Don’t be jealous.

0

2 months ago

achievement, brag, humor, i, jealous, jealousy, just, making, pride, silence, sound, standing, standing up
Female rage is your handbag continuously slipping off your shoulder.

0

3 months ago

female, female rage, frustration, handbag, humor, rage, shoulder, slipping
A fun thing to do at work is call in sick and stay home.

0

2 months ago

activity, call, fun, home, humor, prank, sick, stay, thing, work
I don’t think anything good will ever happen again until people feel bad about being stupid again.

0

2 months ago

again, anything, bad, behavior, being, ever, feel, frustration, good, happen, human, human behavior, humor, i, motivation, people, pessimism, self-awareness, stupid, stupidity, think
All women want is to consistently annoy one handsome man forever.

0

2 months ago

annoy, forever, handsome, humor, man, relationship, want, woman, women
There used to be many different names for the childhood game of knocking on doors and running away. But these days, it’s simply referred to as ‘being an Amazon driver’.

0

2 months ago

Amazon, away, being, childhood, days, delivery, different, doors, driver, game, humor, knocking, names, play, running, used

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on WeChat this month:

Today, I noticed that the cover of my ironing board was wrinkled, and I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because of the word “irony.”

29 shares on Reddit this month:

Downloading the Titanic soundtrack. It’s syncing right now.

54 shares on Twitch this month:

The reason most of us stay up late is because we don’t want our free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

72 shares on YouTube this month:

Being single past 30 is like playing hide and seek, except no one is looking for you.

100 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m not saying I’ve aged like fine wine, but I am currently being stored in a dark place and avoiding sunlight at all costs.

96 shares on YouTube this month:

Call a girl beautiful 1000 times and she won’t notice. Call her fat once and she will never forget. That’s because elephants never forget.

75 shares on Reddit this month:

Will mosquitoes ever develop a pizza obsession and end their pursuit of human blood?

76 shares on Pinterest this month:

What archaeologists are really looking for is a hand digging back.

84 shares on Facebook this month:

At this point, the only thing that can heal me is memory loss.

14 shares on Snapchat this month:

My friends wife threatened to leave him over his Star Wars collectibles and I was like “divorce is strong in this one”.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Winter. You get up, drink coffee and then it gets dark.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m at that point on a Monday where no.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

I stopped adding “Let me know if you have any more questions!” to my emails because don’t email me again.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Fake laughing at work is exhausting as hell, just leave me alone, bro.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

I don’t like the person I become when I’m alone in the break room with a box of donuts.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

“Just be yourself”—that has gotten me mixed results in the past.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

There should be a special rating system for movies that tells you how uncomfortable you’ll be if you watch them with your parents.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Nobody is doing it like me because this is probably not the right way to do it.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the first twelve digits of pi.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Sometimes I have to remind myself to put down my iPhone, go outside, and judge people in person.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Messenger:

If you lift the cat off the couch and it sounds like Velcro, then it didn’t want to leave.

Trending via Snapchat:

I’m nervous that my diet pill will stick in my throat, so I usually eat a few cookies after to help push it down.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I hate when people say “It could be worse” because it could be better, too.

Seen just now on Threads:

IP address? You mean the bathroom?

Spotted on Telegram:

All these deadlines, but it’s you I want to meet.

Just shared via Discord:

After overthinking about it for 6 hours, I have decided that it’s actually not that big of a deal.

Just shared via Slack:

Single introverts be like, “If it’s meant to be, my future love will simply teleport into my living room.”

Spotted on WhatsApp:

You’re an atheist? Well, I don’t believe you. See how you like it.

Going viral on X:

Why do my kids have Veteran’s Day off, they haven’t done shit.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I just want to be treated like a hot little French fry.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I won’t rest until a cure for insomnia is found.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Not to brag, but I just stood up without making a sound. Don’t be jealous.

Female rage is your handbag continuously slipping off your shoulder.

A fun thing to do at work is call in sick and stay home.

I don’t think anything good will ever happen again until people feel bad about being stupid again.

All women want is to consistently annoy one handsome man forever.

There used to be many different names for the childhood game of knocking on doors and running away. But these days, it’s simply referred to as ‘being an Amazon driver’.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨