Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

I’ve been dieting for a little over a week and I already gained three pounds.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence. For example: Jill ate her friend’s sandwich VS Jill ate her friend’s colon.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Can everyone please turn their A/C off during the day, we need that power to generate images of people with eight fingers.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

I know Jesus was a carpenter, but I think he would’ve been a better plumber, you know, with the water thing.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Silicon Valley has taken over the world. Remember when nerds had the good manners to be ashamed of themselves?

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

First date idea: we search for each other’s criminal history together.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

According to my kids’ Christmas lists, they think this parenting gig pays pretty well.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

It’s lowkey nothing else to do except become a better version of yourself, lol.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

The perfect number of cats is two stupid cats. Preferably siblings. But they can’t both be the same type of stupid. One needs to be stupid (dumb) and one needs to be stupid (annoying).

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Maybe in another universe, I punched him in the face instead of staying quiet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,678

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I just finally discovered what’s wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.

Making waves on Snapchat:

“I’m not afraid to admit when I’m wrong. For example, I thought it was a good idea to leave the house today, which, as it turns out, was a terrible mistake.”

Live now on Messenger:

Petition to bring back payphones in public places. I don’t want to give my kid a phone, I want to give him a quarter.

Making waves on Messenger:

Marriage is so scary. What do you mean I can’t have my own room?

Spotted on Messenger:

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

Trending via Discord:

I had to quit my job because people kept falling in love with me there.

Making waves on Instagram:

It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head I’m quite busy.

Making waves on Reddit:

My mom gave me a coffee mug that says “Be your own kind of beautiful” and I’m really trying not to read too much into that.

Freshly posted on Discord:

It would be cool if, after you died, you could see the top 5 times you almost died.

Seen just now on YouTube:

They should make a Wikipedia for normal people. I should be able to google my barista.

If GPT-5 will have ‘Ph.D.-level intelligence’, then GPT-6 will have the intelligence of someone who decided not to get a PhD.

2 weeks ago

Witty quote about AI humorously suggesting future GPTs’ intelligence levels.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the shade thrown at poor GPT-6! 🌟 Not all AI models can be overachievers like GPT-5 with its 'Ph.D.-level intelligence'. Looks like GPT-6 just wanted to take a different career path and not deal with all that dissertation drama! 📚😜 #AIhumor

AI, comparison, education, GPT-5, humor, intelligence, joke, Ph.D., PhD, someone, wit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on WeChat this month:

They should invent a word for when you’re alive but not really living.

62 shares on WeChat this month:

Having a conversation with me is kind of like taking the scenic route.

93 shares on Reddit this month:

Can’t believe we used to throw eggs at houses, and now we can afford neither eggs nor houses.

100 shares on Telegram this month:

I can still drop it like it’s hot. It’s just a lot harder to pick it back up.

10 shares on WhatsApp this month:

They should invent weekends that are long-lasting.

80 shares on TikTok this month:

I like my Jims slim and my chances fat.

17 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I saw an ad for the ultimate dog bed, but my dogs already have the ultimate dog bed. It’s called my bed.

42 shares on Discord this month:

With all the fake information out there, I refuse to believe scales or mirrors.

62 shares on WeChat this month:

If I were Noah, I’d bring three of every animal just to create some drama.

66 shares on YouTube this month:

I do not care how bad the relationship is, I am NOT calling a radio station for advice.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve learned two important things in life, I can’t remember the first one, but the second one is to write everything down.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My middle finger salutes you.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Make sure you stock up on condoms, so you don’t produce any more idiots.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

You sound unhinged. Let’s go get mugshots.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

At this point, if you buy Tesla, everyone is just going to assume you are a loser.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m instantly 70% nicer after 3 p.m. on Fridays.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve just turned off the news and put on a serial killer documentary to relax.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

That’s not fat. It’s bonus content.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,688

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

I may not have lost all my marbles yet, but there’s a small hole in the bag somewhere.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40s: here’s ten pounds.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Men used to go to war. Now they say, “Hey, Grok.”

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I also want them to get lice.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

I hope this email keeps you awake at night.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Stop blaming yourself for your failures. Learn astrology and blame the planets.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

I’ve decided that I need to eat more vegetables, so I’m gonna make a carrot cake later.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Good morning to the wind beneath my wings only.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Whoever said having a crush is when you feel the most like Carrie Bradshaw was so real for that.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Death by a thousand stupid questions.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

Toddlers: I’ve licked everything so everything is mine now.

Making waves on Slack:

App idea: couples upload their arguments. The internet votes on who was right.

Trending via YouTube:

What we need is more companies making hot sauce. I need 900 more ways to taste a thing that tastes exactly like all the other ones.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Balloons are so weird. “Happy birthday, here’s a plastic sack of my breath.”

Seen just now on Pinterest:

“Well, at least things can’t get any worse” has turned out to be a failure of my imagination.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Shit posting is cheaper than therapy.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Hey bartender, can you turn down the music, please? This guy I just met is trying to explain how baseball works.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Telling everyone I’m an undecided voter because I need the attention.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Sneaking up behind people and marrying them.

Seen just now on X:

Tall people make me nervous. What the hell are you doing up there? Stop eating the leaves off that tree.

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