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Commentary:
"Pet dinosaurs: the ultimate timeless trend! 🦕🕰️ Just be sure to find one with good table manners and a love for Jurassic snacks. Who needs a time machine when you can rock a dino buddy?"

buy, dinosaur, history, humor, i, pet, question, repeat

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The most important thing I learned in life, and I can’t stress enough, it doesn’t matter where you went to college. The only thing that matters is that you’re really hot.

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2 months ago

appearance, college, dating, hot, humor, i, importance, important, lesson, life, life lesson, matter, matters, priorities, self-esteem, stress, thing, where
I hate when I turn my car on in the morning and the music starts blasting, and I am like, “Whoooah, big fella, I’m not the same person I was last night.”

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2 months ago

am, big, blasting, car, change, hate, humor, i, last, mood, morning, morning routine, music, night, person, personal, personal change, personality, routine, same, turn
In banana years, I am bread.

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2 months ago

absurdity, age, am, banana, bread, food, humor, i, year’s
It’s hard to believe that this long, crazy election will finally be over in a few months.

0

2 months ago

anticipation, believe, crazy, election, hard, humor, months, over, politics
Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay like an octopus on your face.

0

2 months ago

face, friends, humor, loyalty, metaphor, ocean, octopus, relationships, stay, true, waf
I always feel sleepy, except when I want to sleep.

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2 months ago

always, except, feel, humor, i, insomnia, irony, laziness, sarcasm, sleep, sleepiness, sleepy, want

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My favourite animal is me when I have money.

59 shares on Twitch this month:

My personal brand is being the guest at a wedding who can’t dance but puts in a noticeable effort.

59 shares on Telegram this month:

Viewing someone’s LinkedIn after they’ve viewed yours to assert dominance.

63 shares on WeChat this month:

If you want to make your mother proud, make her my mother-in-law.

65 shares on YouTube this month:

There are two types of people: Those who steal food off your plate and those who you keep in your life.

78 shares on Twitch this month:

You learn a lot about someone when you marry them. For example, I learned I should have married someone else.

20 shares on YouTube this month:

Are you http? Because I’m :// without you.

70 shares on TikTok this month:

No longer praying on your downfall. I will be directly involved.

73 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Free marriage tip: Don’t ask your wife when dinner will be ready while she is mowing the lawn.

10 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It’s so funny when someone writes a song to try to get someone to have sex with them. That’s what a bird would do!

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

What if they close grocery stores and we have to hunt for our food? I don’t even know where the little gummy bears live.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Welcome to your 50’s, you’ll look for your phone while scrolling on your phone.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Holiday dinners with family are like real life boss levels with the worst loot.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Those who run away from me are afraid that they might confess their love to me.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

The lion doesn’t concern himself with credit card debt.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

I drive home so quick after work like I’m late for the house.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

That moment when you cut into a seedless watermelon and find out it’s only allegedly seedless.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

“You’re so chill.” Thanks, I gave up.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Stop roasting yourself, you’re not a marshmallow.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

It’s amazing how much I accomplish around the house right before someone is coming over.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

They should let me go inside everyones house just to see.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Sitting in a room with my husband and kids… Suddenly I realize everyone here has been in my vagina. Wow.

Making waves on YouTube:

It’s not getting better or worse, but rather a third mysterious thing.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I lied, there’s no sex. I just need you to change the batteries in my smoke detectors.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

You can just enjoy kombucha. You don’t need to go on a tirade about cleansing your gut.

Breaking via WeChat:

Getting a wife is very powerful, because you get a personal psychic that will tell you things like, “Your keys are in the gray pants in the hamper,” and “He will ultimately betray you.”

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Look, ice cream has eggs in it, therefore it is a breakfast food.

Shared recently on X:

“Normalize this, normalize that.” How about y’all feel shame for once?

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Getting drunk was invented by Big Text to make you send more texts.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Being lazy has its advantages. I still have most of my winter fat from last year.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If history is repeating itself, when can I buy a pet dinosaur?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The most important thing I learned in life, and I can’t stress enough, it doesn’t matter where you went to college. The only thing that matters is that you’re really hot.

I hate when I turn my car on in the morning and the music starts blasting, and I am like, “Whoooah, big fella, I’m not the same person I was last night.”

In banana years, I am bread.

It’s hard to believe that this long, crazy election will finally be over in a few months.

Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay like an octopus on your face.

I always feel sleepy, except when I want to sleep.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨