If I could have immunity to anything I would pick calories.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Just worked out for 2 hours straight and 1 hour gay.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

It sucks when you have to stand on an escalator for 30 minutes because of a power cut.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

On a scale of quack to quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack, what do you think of my duck-based numbering system?

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Wife asked if I could stop singing Wonderwall. I said maybe…

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

I went to clean bathroom and I’m 99% sure my kids shoot their toothpaste out of a cannon.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Sorry, can’t. Calling NASA and making alien noises.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

I love reading a menu. Look at all this stuff I want to eat.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I don’t worry about things at all and other times I am awake.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets, because stressed spelled backwards is desserts.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Please don’t buy my book on reverse psychology.