Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I’m not actively avoiding you. I don’t actively do anything.
  • Good news: I only ate one slice of pizza. Bad news: I did that four times in a row.
  • I’m just saying, no dog has ever ghosted me.
  • You learn a lot about someone when you marry them. For example, I learned I should have married someone else.
  • I always like to remember the time before the internet. It was so good not to know how cruel and stupid humanity really is.
  • “Left alone” would have been the right answer as a child to the question of what I wanted to be when I grew up.