Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Nobody victim blames more than my oldest son when he’s in trouble for punching his little brother.
  • Hey! Sorry I missed your text, I am processing a non-stop 24/7 onslaught of information with a brain designed to eat berries in a cave.
  • I enjoy excess, but only in moderation.
  • Can anyone recommend some good places for somebody just getting into visiting?
  • Taking action is my least favorite thing to take.
  • I don’t really like the song “I’ve Got a Feeling” by Black Eyed Peas, but I just like the part where they say “Mazel Tov.”