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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Kinda in the mood to let my feelings impair my judgement.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Studies show young people are having less sex than previous generations. I knew I was ahead of my time.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

There’s no way the Scooby Doo gang never found a dead body.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

My superpower is always picking the line at the grocery store that moves the slowest.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

I used to think the cat was dumb for staring out the window, waiting for birds, but I’d probably stare too, if occasionally a pizza flew by.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Every single morning, I have to get out of bed and do things, and it’s bullshit.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Look at you with tape over your camera, while Amazon, Facebook, and Google have your whole life on file.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m pretty sure my husband’s favorite sound is the oven range fan turning on when I start making dinner.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

You can have glossy lips or you can have a cat. You can’t have both.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

I took your advice and worked smarter not harder. Now I’m going to need your advice on a good lawyer.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Jan 7, 2026

3,618

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

I wonder if people that fall asleep right away know that we hate them.

Just landed via TikTok:

A delivery driver just asked for my date of birth. I said, “94.” He replied, “Is that 1994?” Oh, sorry mate, no. My bad, that was 1794. Right around the French Revolution.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

My problem areas are my upper arms and earth.

Making waves on Slack:

My body is a “wonder what happened” land.

Going viral on X:

I’m officially at the age where I enjoy when people cancel plans.

Just landed via Twitch:

I don’t always push on pull doors but when I do, I do it two or three times to confirm how dumb I really am.

Breaking via Facebook:

I can’t believe that it’s our turn to give money to our nephews and nieces.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I’m going spiraling, do you need anything?

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Just a few more hours of scrolling, and then I will finally know.

Just shared via Slack:

My friends put their kid to bed and then made us ice cream sundaes, which is exactly what I assumed was happening when my parents put me to bed.

If you are sad, just sing and you will realize that your voice is worse than your problem.

2 months ago

0

If you are sad, just sing and you will realize that your voice is worse than your problem.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🎶 "If you are sad, just sing…and promptly realize you might just be the love child of a goose and a cat stuck in a blender. 🦢🎤 But hey, no problem can withstand the power of your off-key ballads! Maybe that's the true magic of music – distracting us from life's sour notes with our own accidental ones."

coping, humor, just, problem, realize, sad, sadness, self-awareness, sing, voice, worse

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Hey bro, please stop using all the good skipping rocks at the river.

0

2 months ago

activity, bro, friendship, fun, fun activity, good, humor, outdoor, river, rock, rocks, skipping, skipping rock, stop
I find that age is just a number, and the older you get, the number you get.

0

2 months ago

age, aging, humor, i, just, number, older
Who else here can say that they have NEVER watched any of the Kardashian shows?

0

2 months ago

else, entertainment, here, humor, Kardashian, never, reality, reality TV, say, show, shows, statement, TV, watch
I’ve had so much tea trying to get rid of this cold that I’m now speaking with a British accent and am fascinated with the Royal family.

0

2 months ago

accent, am, British, British accent, cold, culture, family, fascination, health, humor, much, rid, royal, royal family, speaking, stereotypes, tea, trying
Done with work today. The work day isn’t over, I’m just done with it.

0

2 months ago

break, day, done, humor, job, just, over, productivity, quitting, today, work
Babe, are you OK? It’s already Q4, and you’ve barely touched your “2025 roadmap.”

0

3 months ago

2025, babe, deadline, humor, ok, planning, pressure, q4, relationship, roadmap, work, work pressure

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on Reddit this month:

Bartenders be like “here’s that receipt, I’ll go ahead and put it on the wettest part of the bar”.

91 shares on X this month:

Yeah, bro, she’s probably just not using her phone right now, for the first time ever in her whole life.

29 shares on YouTube this month:

You wear a white shirt and all of a sudden everybody wants to go eat spaghetti.

35 shares on X this month:

Why is no one talking about the sheer pleasure of coming home from vacation and using your own bathroom.

45 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I did nothing wrong. I tried to do nothing and did it wrong.

63 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t have a five-year plan because every two years I realize I need a different life.

10 shares on Threads this month:

I find it hard to believe I used to just answer my phone when it rang. No caller ID. No idea who was calling. Just picked it up and said “hello” like a goddam daredevil.

54 shares on Messenger this month:

Ironically people who are good at giving advice find it difficult to follow their own.

14 shares on WeChat this month:

My biggest motivation for getting out of bed in the morning is knowing that I will eventually be able to get back in the bed.

68 shares on Messenger this month:

The egg doesn’t swim to the sperm, girl. Never chase a man.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Airport beer at 6 a.m.? No problem. The airport is a lawless place that is free from judgment.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My dog sighs a lot for someone who doesn’t pay any bills.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I do believe in aliens, but do they also believe in me?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t need to explain yourself if you carry a chainsaw.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here plucking chin hairs.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t think inside the box and I don’t think outside the box. I don’t even know where the box is.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Glad I didn’t really waste any time studying international law, seeing as how it is fake and meaningless.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Packed all my meds into one bottle for a trip and accidentally invented the best trail mix.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear ads, I have the buying power of a Victorian milkmaid.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The first person to ever throw up was probably like, “Ok, what the hell.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,614

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Cleaning the rocks of the earth one load of my kids’ laundry at a time.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Lord of the Rings is wild cause Gandalf told Frodo he had to go on a super dangerous journey and Frodo was like “Ok, can I bring my gardener?”

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Capri Sun tastes as if scientists had bet that they could make fruit juice without fruit.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Due to personal reasons, I must make it in life.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Telling a child not to touch something only ensures that child is definitely now going to touch that something.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Might start a YouTube channel “will it hurt if I drop it on my foot”.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

I would never put up a lost dog poster. I’m not letting the whole neighborhood know I fumbled.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

It’s important to listen to both sides of the debate because you need to hear both the reality of the situation and also the dumbest thing anyone’s ever said.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

If you don’t know how many x-rays it takes before a person develops super powers, should you really be in a medical profession?

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Rehab is a great place to meet people that like Piña Coladas and getting caught in the rain.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

Me, whenever I can easily do some yoga pose, “This can’t be right.”

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I wish I was mysterious, but unfortunately I just can’t keep my mouth shut.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Do you mind if I smash this object of great sentimental value?

Spotted on Facebook:

Being famous on social media is like being rich in Monopoly. It’s not real, so calm down.

Just shared via X:

Age regressing by coughing like a toddler, with my tongue out.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Oh, him? He’s my insignificant other.

Shared recently on X:

People who are on Twitter and put intelligent in their bio, good one.

Just landed via Messenger:

That awkward moment when you’re about to leave work and your boss says “before you go”.

Just landed via Instagram:

Someone asked me what my hobby was and I realized that my favorite hobby is doing absolutely nothing.

Making waves on Discord:

How does world hunger exist when we can fry air?

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