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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Sleep well, middle finger—you’ve got a big day ahead of you tomorrow.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

My love life feels like when you finally spot an open space in a full parking lot — and then boom, it’s a motorcycle.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

I didn’t really feel old until my doctor hit me with the “at your age…”

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

I bet when you invited me to Thanksgiving dinner you didn’t think I’d stay this long.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

There used to be many different names for the childhood game of knocking on doors and running away. But these days, it’s simply referred to as ‘being an Amazon driver’.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Urgh. Trying to buy a copy of Catch-22 online but the seller won’t post it until I’ve paid and I won’t pay until I’ve received it.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

“Are you dating anyone?” I close my eyes when I walk past mirrors.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

As you get older, nothing loses its sting more than an authority figure saying they are disappointed in you. Like, I don’t know what to tell you, dude, we can’t both live in the prison of your expectations.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

An internship is only unpaid if you don’t steal enough.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

We must all do our part for the planet. The other day I unplugged a row of electric cars nobody was using.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

789 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,951

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,951

47 minutes ago

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I’m like a candle: I’m cute, I smell nice, and there’s a pretty good chance I’ll set your curtains on fire if left unattended.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Maybe if we sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

Just landed via TikTok:

Laxatives help you live up to your full pooptential.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Okay, I’ve proved I’m not a robot, now you prove you’re not a human.

Just landed via X:

A lot of y’all don’t understand politics because your history teacher was the football coach.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

At the grocery store, but forgot my wife’s list so I guess I’ll just follow this other guy around and get what he gets.

Just landed via Slack:

A middle finger hits different when your nails are done.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Even on the coldest of days, there’s such peace found in the warm embrace of a hot pizza.

Live now on Reddit:

That strange moment when you are trying to be serious, but then you accidentally smile.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened.

I’ll be like “it is what it is” and almost vomit from anxiety.

6 months ago

I’ll be like “it is what it is” and almost vomit from anxiety.

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Commentary:
Ah, the classic "it is what it is" mantra, providing all the calmness of a sloth on a caffeine rush. 🤪🤢 Just another day of trying to keep it together while avoiding a potential technicolor yawn. Keep the positive vibes flowing, even if they're a bit nauseating! 🤣 #AnxietyStruggles #ItsAllGoodInTheory

almost, anxiety, humor, it is what it is, panic, relatable, stress, vomit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

789 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,951

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,951

47 minutes ago

3,436

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

‘I have a ripe avocado at home’ is my favorite excuse for cancelling plans.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

If I ever went to jail for murder, it would be for murdering my printer.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Not to be dramatic, but learning how to read has ruined my life.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Called in telepathically this morning, so they know I’m thinking of them.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

The way my phone’s facial recognition pretends not to recognize me, you’d think I dated it.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Break-up so bad, he blocked me on Pokémon Go.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Another day of explaining to mom that New York is big and the footage she saw wasn’t shot on my street.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Life is strange. We come into the world with nothing, then we struggle for everything, and finally, we leave with nothing.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Welcome to adulthood. You have a favorite gas station now.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Sometimes our greatest achievement in life is being able to survive our own thoughts.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

I hate when people ask me what I’m doing tomorrow, I don’t even know what I’m doing today.

Trending via TikTok:

I’ve jogged with my jogging pants about as often as I’ve rolled through the kitchen with kitchen roll.

Just landed via Reddit:

No, it’s totally fine, Grandma. Nobody else needs to use the stairs today.

Spotted on X:

Think about how many more lovers you’d have if a cross country high-speed rail existed. That’s what they are taking away from you.

Spotted on X:

Gotta find someone you’re thermostatically compatible with. You can’t be a 74 dating a 62.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Don’t forget to overestimate your importance today.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Home is where you can walk around like a bum.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Any cults got something wild planned anytime soon? I’m trying to find the good estate sales.

Spotted on Messenger:

I’d like to meet the person who decided that if you wanted to get married fast it had to be done by Elvis.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

“God has a plan for you!” Okay, well, I have some notes for him.

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