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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

That place is so crowded; nobody goes there anymore.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Nowadays, people no longer look for a needle in a haystack, but for errors in a spreadsheet.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

This book ain’t got no pictures.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Nothing prepared me for how much of my adult life would be spent hiding from people I know at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

I remember when a computer didn’t automatically connect to the internet, it used to make a screaming noise. We should have listened.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

If you want to impress me with your car, it better be a food truck.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

You know when you have so much to do that you just sit down and do nothing?

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Thanks for leaving my door open; I was running low on houseflies.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

They always say, there is someone for everyone… unfortunately, the person for me is a therapist.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Having long hair as a guy is so scary because some days I look like the charming lead of a classic film from the 80s, and other days I look like a Discord mod that runs his Magic: The Gathering group like the Navy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

3,850

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

Grant me the supernatural ability to change the things I cannot accept.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I just tried on my summer wardrobe. The only thing I managed to get into was a state of panic.

Going viral on Messenger:

You spend so long trying to think of a name for your cat only to end up calling them “for god’s sake” and “please stop”.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

The worst thing is finding out the “sweet guy” is just a lustful loser.

Seen just now on Reddit:

My kids practically have medical degrees they’re at the nurse so much.

Just landed via TikTok:

You’re telling me this moron’s on oxy.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Don’t judge me on my likes, I’m confusing the algorithm.

Just shared via YouTube:

Victor Frankenstein being only 23 years old when he made the monster is crazy to me, he should have been at the club.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Caffeine: the adult version of fairy dust.

Making waves on Slack:

My hobbies include using the TV as background noise while I scroll on my phone.

I’ll be like “it is what it is” and almost vomit from anxiety.

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I’ll be like “it is what it is” and almost vomit from anxiety.
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Commentary:
Ah, the classic "it is what it is" mantra, providing all the calmness of a sloth on a caffeine rush. 🤪🤢 Just another day of trying to keep it together while avoiding a potential technicolor yawn. Keep the positive vibes flowing, even if they're a bit nauseating! 🤣 #AnxietyStruggles #ItsAllGoodInTheory

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on X this month:

Sorry, I can’t tonight. I’m busy taking things personally.

30 shares on Pinterest this month:

People don’t catch bullets with their teeth anymore, get out there and practice.

72 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Dear people, who drive without music playing, what do you do with your brain?

37 shares on Telegram this month:

Scrolling should count as cardio.

12 shares on Twitch this month:

Worst part of being in my 20’s is to be reminded that I’m actually in my mid-40’s.

21 shares on Telegram this month:

You can chill with someone a whole day at the university, and never see them again in your life, lol.

78 shares on YouTube this month:

Hyphenated. Non-hyphenated. The irony.

46 shares on Instagram this month:

There’s nothing like the first two months with a man when he’s still pretending to be a good person.

96 shares on Discord this month:

I love being wrong, it’s just like being right except easier and I get to be stupid, which is my favorite thing.

65 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Whenever I’m with real yappers, I realize I might actually be a listener.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I will never understand people who don’t gasp dramatically at rainbows.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Gosh, being a princess is exhausting.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

How quickly family vacations go from “Omg, we only have 4 days left” to “Omg, we still have 4 days left”

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Being alone is my favourite way of being.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The best essential oils are the ones that drip out of Tacos.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Nice to finally get back that hour they stole earlier this year.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The place where you pour in the gas is the car’s gasshole.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I signed up to the gym a few months ago and still don’t see any results. I’ll go by there this weekend and ask what’s going on.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If you can reach enlightenment, can you also reach endarkenment?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

French is bullshit. They keep changing the translation of ‘soup du jour’ each day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

3,753

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Establish dominance by maintaining eye contact whilst twerking.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

My burning question is who thought a two day weekend would suffice the human body.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Shout out to the people getting $400 hotel rooms on Feb 14th to do the same two positions they do at home.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

The neighbor girl told my kids she wouldn’t come over until they cleaned their rooms, so I guess I do have a favorite child.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Getting tipsy at a dimly lit restaurant with good conversation would heal me right now.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

I just love the lack of privacy in the pharmacy line. Just standing there shouting out my name, date of birth, and exactly what is wrong with me for the world to hear.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

My husband keeps borrowing and losing my tweezers, so I’m naming this chin hair after him.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Super excited about a brand new week of questioning all my life choices.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

The smarter you are, the more important it is for you to figure out how to think less.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

I just wish I had the confidence of my husband who thinks everything only takes 5 minutes.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

Sounds like you are suffering from a lack of vitamin Me.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Every time I use self-checkout, the person in front of me has never used self-checkout, touchscreens, or money before.

Freshly posted on X:

What if babies had two umbilical cords and if you cut the wrong one, it exploded?

Just landed via Twitch:

If all men are the same, why does it take women so long to choose one?

Just shared via Messenger:

I just bought a universal remote. This changes everything.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

The only reason I’d want to go to heaven is to complain to the manager.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I’d be less aggressive in the morning if I could drive to work in a tank.

Spotted on Messenger:

I haven’t bought 1 Christmas gift but I got 3 packages on the way for me though.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

My morning coffee makes me feel like I’ve got my shit together. I don’t, but it makes me feel like I do.

Shared recently on Slack:

Do mens sneezes get louder and louder as they age until they explode?

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