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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

I love sleeping in fishnets. Makes you feel like a big honey roast ham.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

All of humanities problems could be solved with a large meteor.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Me attempting to flirt: So do you like doing things?

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Do y’all ever think about how, in Korean, you can’t scream over text because there’s no uppercase… I think about that all the time, for some reason.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

You don’t need to explain yourself if you carry a chainsaw.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Please solve a murder to prove you’re not a bot.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Another day of meaningless suffering. Let’s see what awaits us tomorrow.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Sorry boys, but I’ve already got my eyes on a guy who’s not interested.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Losing and then immediately gaining weight is my superpower.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Jan 31, 2026

3,481

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

This year I’d like an advent calendar with 24 different tranquilizers.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

People who own banana costumes will wear that shit to anything.

Shared recently on X:

Gimme fuel, gimme fire, gimme casual attire.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I like to just appear out of nowhere and say, “this looks like a job for a binder clip.”

Seen just now on Messenger:

It’s really hard to come back after a poorly executed high five.

Trending via Pinterest:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to a happy life.

Spotted on Discord:

“Turn down for what?” My ears, fella. My ears.

Freshly posted on Slack:

A hammock is a terrible place to receive bad news.

Just landed via Messenger:

I’m so talented I can not only spill food on my clothes but I can get it on yours too.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Being depressed is so embarrassing. It’s like, look at me, guys. I have nothing positive to say, and I make everything miserable.

I’ll be like “it is what it is” and almost vomit from anxiety.

2 days ago

Witty text about anxiety and acceptance with a humorous, relatable vibe.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the classic "it is what it is" mantra, providing all the calmness of a sloth on a caffeine rush. 🤪🤢 Just another day of trying to keep it together while avoiding a potential technicolor yawn. Keep the positive vibes flowing, even if they're a bit nauseating! 🤣 #AnxietyStruggles #ItsAllGoodInTheory

almost, anxiety, humor, it is what it is, panic, relatable, stress, vomit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on Messenger this month:

Always keep a bottle of wine in the fridge for special occasions. Like Wednesday.

36 shares on TikTok this month:

How did they get kids to pose for oil paintings? Mine won’t sit still for 4 seconds for a family photo.

92 shares on YouTube this month:

Life is way too short to pretend you’re not into some freaky stuff.

24 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Gentle parenting is making sure your kids can’t hear what you say when you’re peeling a mango.

80 shares on YouTube this month:

Welcome to your 40s, where the hair shows up uninvited and looks pissed to be here.

94 shares on Pinterest this month:

My my husband’s favorite thing is when I blame him for losing something that’s actually in my hand.

30 shares on YouTube this month:

“AI is coming for your jobs”. I’d like to see AI show up drunk on Fridays and sexually harass my coworkers.

92 shares on Discord this month:

Technically, all restaurants are drive-thru, it just depends how committed to the task you are.

14 shares on WeChat this month:

Why procrastinate now when you can always procrastinate later?

16 shares on Discord this month:

I wanted to wear some hot lingerie, but didn’t have any, so I put on this red dental floss.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey boy, are you the sun? Because you were a big part of my life this summer but now I feel like I never see you.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Being an adult is like folding a fitted sheet.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

According to my skin, hair, lips, and hands, I am doing Dry January.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m going to hell if anybody needs anything.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Starting the second half of your sandwich is like “hell yeah, baby, let’s run it back!”

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Just thinking how many animals we had to ride on before we realized horses were ok with it.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The more I insisted marshmallows were vegetables, the angrier my doctor got.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Men have feelings too! Hunger, for example. Or thirst.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If someone asks you if you’re in the queue, what they actually mean is “you’re really shit at queuing, aren’t you?”

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Thank you, moon, for staying awake so late.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,288

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera!

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

My personal brand is being the guest at a wedding who can’t dance but puts in a noticeable effort.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Tried Adderall to help my productivity but now I’m just intensely aware of all the things I should be doing.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

If your problem can’t be fixed by coffee, tequila or sex then I’m out of advice.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Psychiatry is crazy because they’re just like… Oh, you’re really depressed? Would being on a pill that makes you fat help?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Quitting my job to rock around the Christmas tree.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Mister Sandman, bring me a meme. Make it the dumbest shit that I’ve ever seen.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

If sex was real, I think I would’ve had it by now.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

I’m too lazy to be a superhero. If I had laser eyes, I’d probably just use them to heat soup or something.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

But if i put my laundry away, the laundry chair will be out of a job.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

Does anyone know the password to my work computer? Or how to do my job?

Spotted on Discord:

Nothing hurts more than someone not getting your joke.

Seen just now on X:

When I say I’m saving myself for marriage, what I mean is you won’t know how annoying I am until it’s too late.

Breaking via Snapchat:

People in their 20s be like, “This is my emotional support master’s degree.”

Spotted on TikTok:

If you call me from a private number, I’ll respect your privacy and won’t answer.

Shared recently on WeChat:

At my next therapy session, I will be discussing the trauma I’ve been dealing with ever since the grocery store layout was altered.

Just landed via YouTube:

Transgender ambulance driver whose pronouns are we/you/we/you/we/you.

Spotted on Telegram:

Good morning to everyone except people that talk to the cashier about their entire day.

Just landed via YouTube:

Bought a pair of night vision goggles so that I can easily find the fridge at night without waking my wife.

Spotted on YouTube:

I really think tossing and turning at night should be counted as exercise.

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