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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

My swear jar is having a very profitable week.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

There is a house I drive by most days and I can never tell if they are having a yard sale or that is just how they live.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

It’s way too easy to lie online. I was just telling Beyoncé about that the other day.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

I made up all these romantic scenarios in my brain and you’re not following the script.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Nighttime is when I remember that one weird thing I said in 6th grade, and feel bad about it forever.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Normalize mouthing the lyrics to the song in your headphones in public.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

And what do we do when we are sad? “Add to cart”

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Justice is a dish best served cold. If it were served warm, it would be just water.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

I am an influencer. If you aren’t influenced in any way, that is on you. Do better.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Just pulled a Werther’s Original out of my pocket, like I’m 87 years old.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

357 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,626

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,626

Jan 12, 2026

3,274

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Beer is like weed for people with jobs.

Seen just now on Messenger:

My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Saving up ketchup packets in the fridge so I can one day open my own restaurant.

Making waves on Telegram:

Seeking a date so intense even the candles are sweating.

Just landed via Pinterest:

My kid’s superpower is knowing he won’t like a food before he even tries it.

Live now on WhatsApp:

The part right before bench pressing when you’re laying down but not lifting is so good.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Getting the ick because he put the windshield wipers on at a higher rate than was needed.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Sorry for having no idea what the hell I am doing. It will happen again.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Just done a HIIT workout and if anyone sees me trying to do that again just go ahead and hiit me in the face.

Trending via Reddit:

They won’t teach you this in school, but life is all about going to weird little diners.

I’m going to hell if anybody needs anything.

2 months ago

I’m going to hell if anybody needs anything.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sure, I'll happily assist you with that… just know that I'll be saving you a spot in the fiery pits down below while I'm at it 🔥😈 #HelpfulButMischievous"

Fun Fact or Trivia:
Did you know that the concept of hell as a place of punishment for the wicked has been a common belief in various cultures and religions for centuries? 🔥👹 In some traditions, hell is depicted as a fiery underworld where souls are tormented for their sins. Despite the humorous tone of the quote, the idea of going to hell has long been a serious and often fearful concept in many belief systems.

anything, going, hell, humor, joke, need, needs, sarcasm

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

God: “I genuinely don’t remember making you all this stupid.”

2 months ago

creation, divine, God, humor, i, irony, making, memory, remember, self-reflection, stupid, stupidity
Garlic bread is my therapist now.

2 months ago

bread, comfort, comfort food, food, garlic, garlic bread, humor, therapist
Just because I loved you at one point doesn’t mean I will always love you. I’m not Whitney Houston.

2 months ago

always, breakup, comedy, emotional, houston, humor, i, independence, just, love, loved, mean, point, relationships, sarcasm, whitney, Whitney Houston
You’ve got to question the legitimacy of the Burger Kingdom if Burger King is just handing out crowns to anybody willy-nilly.

2 months ago

burger, Burger King, Burger Kingdom, crown, fast, fast food, food, food humor, got, humor, humor quote, just, king, kingdom, legitimacy, parody, question, satire
One big difference between men and women is that if a woman says “Smell this,” it usually smells nice.

2 months ago

difference, gender, humor, men, nice, relationship, smell, women
I used to mix Mountain Dew with the cheapest vodka I could find, and I called it the Blood of Mannaroth because it’s green and turns you into an orc.

2 months ago

alcoholic, alcoholic beverage, beverage, blood, Blood of Mannaroth, dew, drink, fantasy, green, green drink, humor, i, mannaroth, mix, mixing, mixing drink, mountain, Mountain Dew, nickname, orc, used, vodka

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on Reddit this month:

Women are obsessed with Love Island, but when me and my boys do it in real life, we’re disgusting cheating dogs?

14 shares on Messenger this month:

Garlic and bread is the only marriage I truly have faith in.

20 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Just done a HIIT workout and if anyone sees me trying to do that again just go ahead and hiit me in the face.

81 shares on WeChat this month:

Prior to the arrival of Paper and Scissors, Rock faced no competition.

46 shares on TikTok this month:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to be electrocuted and get my memory erased.

62 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m not easily offended, but I am easily annoyed.

30 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Spell your crush’s name backwards, mine is yenom.

51 shares on Threads this month:

Spewing nonsense online is the most fun a depressed person is allowed to have in these twisted times.

77 shares on Instagram this month:

Today, I want to talk about underperforming continents. Antarctica, explain yourself.

35 shares on Messenger this month:

I think something is so beautifully wrong with you.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Be warned: I’m bored. This could get dangerous.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I have everything you could possibly ever need in my purse, except for money.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

You look like the type of person that would fart in bed and Dutch Oven yourself.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I got a bumper sticker that says, “Honk if you think I’m pretty.” Sometimes I just sit at green lights until I feel better about myself.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Just give your kids the iPad. They’re the ones who’ll be fighting cyborgs in the future.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a Bible verse in your bio doesn’t make you a good person.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Post-standing clarity is like, damn, I could have been sitting this whole time.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Date idea: you hold my hand while I call the dentist and you tell me I’m so brave.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve just turned off the news and put on a serial killer documentary to relax.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

No matter how much Polynesian food you eat, you always want Samoa.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

357 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,626

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,626

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,625

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

I showered with my boyfriend. My breasts have never been so clean! Wow!

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Your twenties are for destroying and betraying yourself for nothing.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

It’s called single sign-on because you have to do it every single time.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

The empty spot in your bed is for snacks, not liars.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Man, it sucks having no kids. All I do is whatever I want, all the time.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Don’t blame a clown for acting like a clown. Ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Sometimes you just gotta say LOL and move on.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

The only thing I love more than an open mind is an open bar.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

It’s too bad he never woke up and chose violence. “Bob Ross, mob boss” has a nice ring to it.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Showing my barber a Rorschach test, and he gives me his mother’s haircut.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

Every morning I wake up and make the worst possible time management decisions anyone has ever made.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

“Topless” doesn’t always mean breasts or a convertible. Sometimes it also means the brain.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Being a procrastinator and a perfectionist means you’re stressed about work … that you haven’t even started yet.

Trending via Pinterest:

I can already feel that the day is going to seize me instead of the other way around.

Just landed via Facebook:

Robert De Niro always looks like he just smelled a nasty fart.

Going viral on Threads:

Never understood when the movie rating says “May contain nudity.” Are there people on the ratings board who aren’t sure if they just saw someone naked?

Seen just now on Telegram:

The sheer audacity of life to ask anything of me today.

Live now on Reddit:

Pilots lowkey have an aura when they walk past you in the airport.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Situationships are just you pretending you’re okay with getting used until they find someone they actually like.

Just landed via Twitch:

Wish I could step out of my body and take my own damn pictures.

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