Wordgag πŸŽ…

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡ͺ has downloaded:

Every time my kids start whining, I get the urge to call my mom and apologize.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡§ has copied:

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re doing cardio.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡΄ has downloaded:

Don’t check on your introverted friends this time of year. They’re probably turning their lights off and pretending they’re not home.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡¬ has downloaded:

Right before rock bottom, you’ll have a city builder game on your phone.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡­ has copied:

β€œI’m at that stage of Christmas shopping where I start buying myself presents.”

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡¨ has viewed:

I don’t hide from my problems, I just ignore them until they lose interest.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ό has copied:

Fake laughing at work is mentally exhausting. Please just leave me alone.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡§ has bookmarked:

To accommodate the size of my wife’s new water bottle, we’ve replaced the passenger seat of her car with a cupholder.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡΄ has copied:

The days will soon be shorter again. Then it won’t rain for so long.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡° has downloaded:

No show does a misunderstanding / miscommunication plot better than Modern Family does.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,784

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Cause of death: Trying to draw eyebrows on the neighbor’s cat.

Going viral on Messenger:

Might lay here until someone draws my chalk outline.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I fondly remember my days as a younger man when I didn’t care what the weather was going to do.

Making waves on Discord:

Having a low-quality camera will definitely force you to keep your life private.

Spotted on Slack:

I think airplanes would be way cooler if the wings flapped like a bird.

Seen just now on Instagram:

They can steal your recipe, but the sauce won’t taste the same.

Just landed via Telegram:

Aliens are coming to Earth, people are going to the Moon, and I am still pushing on a door that says pull.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That’s common sense leaving your body.

Just shared via Instagram:

I’ve started eating healthier and exercising if you’re wondering why I’m in such a crappy mood all of a sudden.

Spotted on Facebook:

Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working.

I’m having an orange, and the dogs keep looking at me like, β€œstop eating that ball, dude.”

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I’m having an orange, and the dogs keep looking at me like, β€œstop eating that ball, dude.”
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like the dogs are ready to play fetch with your snack! 🐢🎾 Who knew an innocent orange could cause such confusion in the canine world? Maybe next time you should stick to apples to avoid any ball-shaped food mix-ups! πŸ˜„πŸŠ

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

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Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on TikTok this month:

I love being an adult and sitting absolutely still and suddenly I’ve hurt my neck somehow.

97 shares on Instagram this month:

Croutons feel like an apology. “Sorry we gave you salad. Have some consolation toast.”

17 shares on Reddit this month:

When I’m in a good mood, I go to my blocked list and release one or two prisoners.

90 shares on X this month:

Sorry, I don’t think I can hang out this weekend, my 4-year-old is still telling a joke.

24 shares on Messenger this month:

My talents are so hidden that I can’t even find them.

83 shares on Snapchat this month:

Relationship status: you’d think something called a Roomba would be a better dancer.

82 shares on Instagram this month:

On the next episode of Hoarders, they visit my subconscious.

25 shares on Threads this month:

Sorry, I can’t tonight. I’m busy taking things personally.

62 shares on Discord this month:

Monday morning looks like Jack Nicholson breaking through the door in The Shining.

54 shares on WhatsApp this month:

But he was so nice on the prison phone calls.

Trending Topics πŸ“

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Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

She’s the kind of beautiful that makes me do 40 push-ups in my room at 3am.

23 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Sometimes I’m grateful that thoughts don’t appear as bubbles over our heads.

5 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

It’s healthy to be a little insane sometimes.

19 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

By the power vested in me by Facebook, I now pronounce you unfriended and restricted. You may now kiss my butt.

18 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Teens don’t know how good they have it with lyrics sites. We used to have to sing shit wrong for years until the truth destroyed us.

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

The porn bots liking my posts from years ago is just reminding me that I’ve always been hilarious.

5 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

The show “How I Met Your Mother” was just a really long TED talk.

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I am deeply overwhelmed and yet incredibly bored at the same time.

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Dads were right. Walking around with your hands behind your back and looking at everything around with a mild look of disgust and annoyance is so much fun.

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Time travel is all well and good, but I feel so stupid right now. None of them have the mustache. No way to tell which baby is Hitler.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,767

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡³ has bookmarked:

Sorry, can’t go out tonight. My bed told me it needs me, and I can’t let it down.

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡· has shared:

I always mean what I say, I don’t always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡Ή has downloaded:

Hate when I view someone’s story, and it’s their birthday.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡ͺ has copied:

That feeling when it’s Friday, you blink once, and somehow it’s Monday again.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡· has copied:

Tonight I will make history, by turning off incognito mode.

Someone from πŸ‡«πŸ‡· has shared:

Cleaning the rocks of the earth one load of my kids’ laundry at a time.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡Ώ has shared:

While a leaf blower is a close second, my preferred cleaner is a flamethrower.

Someone from πŸ‡ΏπŸ‡² has viewed:

All the smart people at the office are worried about being replaced by A.I., but not me. I’m safe until they invent Artificial Stupidity.

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡Ί has copied:

Twitter is diarrhea of the mouth at its finest. Everyone is just going around vomiting whatever is in their brains.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡± has bookmarked:

Sorry, I can’t hang out tomorrow. I hung out with people a week ago and I’m still recovering from that.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Making waves on Facebook:

If you have nothing nice to say, I promise you that I’ll have something even worse to say back.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Japan’s greatest tragedy is having the world’s best toilets and no Mexican food. What’s the point of owning a Ferrari if you never take it to the track?

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I don’t consider myself anything but average. However, I have aged well.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I’ll be home for Christmas, because that’s where I live.

Making waves on WeChat:

I got called “pretty” today! Well, the full sentence was “You’re pretty annoying,” but I only focus on the positive things.

Spotted on Instagram:

Looking for someone who loves me as much as some people love standing up the second a plane lands.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I would prefer not to.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I don’t understand, “kill them with kindness”; can I use a lightsaber instead?

Going viral on TikTok:

I finally have glasses, which is great because I needed one more thing to frantically search for every morning.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right louder.

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