Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Listen, before I had my coffee I didn’t know how awesome I was going to be today either.
  • Shoutout to drug dealers for teaching the metric system to Americans.
  • World domination? I don’t even want to be responsible for myself.
  • The Cranberries. Great band name. You pick a fruit and you get to work.
  • If the interviewer doesn’t think it’s cool when you pull a quarter out of his ear, the job wasn’t good enough for you anyways.
  • Hi. I didn’t mean to “like” your tweet. I was scraping dried jelly off my phone.