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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

I made a graph showing my past relationships. It has an ex axis and a why axis.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Interviewer: Why do you want to work in customer service? Me: Well, I’m really good at apologizing for things that aren’t my fault.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Can’t wait for my husband to see what he bought everyone for Christmas.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Do you ever look into your cats eyes and realize that a person is inside there?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

A mustache is just mouth bangs.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

The most attractive thing a man can do is hitting his own head and repeating “stupid, stupid, stupid”.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

There’s nothing like the excitement of a brand-new book to add to the massive pile of books I still haven’t read.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t turn into a disaster.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

I’ve got a headache, and it’s affecting my entire future.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

You sound smart. You some kinda ‘ologist?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,749

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

If you ever get attacked by a shark, just be a good sport about it and let it eat you. Hey, look on the bright side: It’s a rare occurrence, so you’re special.

Making waves on Telegram:

AI won’t replace me because I’m already useless to society.

Shared recently on Threads:

Next time I die, I’m going to make sure I’m reincarnated someplace other than Earth.

Trending via X:

Sex is cool, but have you ever received reassurance without asking for it?

Live now on Snapchat:

They are all liars, so just pick the tallest and enjoy.

Spotted on WeChat:

“Try it all before you die” is always drugs and sex, never quantum physics.

Freshly posted on Slack:

They need to increase life expectancy so I can squeeze in another mid-life crisis.

Shared recently on Telegram:

People always love to claim that a celebrity’s death is “unexpected”, but they never actually release the data on which celebrities they expected to die that day.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Be the reason someone smiles today. Or blocks you. Whatever.

Just shared via Slack:

Divorce is so weird. Why do I have an ex-aunt?

“I’m just playing devil’s advocate here.” Ok, why are you helping the devil?

Humorous quote about questioning motives, showing playful skepticism with witty sarcasm.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, if you're playing devil's advocate, you might as well ask for a raise in hell while you're at it! We wouldn't want the devil feeling left out of the fun now, would we?

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on Facebook this month:

Oh, how much I love a Sunday when you don’t have to work the next day.

64 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Switching between brainrot and deep intellectual talks is a skill that only a few acquire.

55 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Getting married soon. Just need a spouse.

32 shares on YouTube this month:

I found out my husband was cheating on me at a Linkin Park concert. We tried so hard and got so far, but in the end, it didn’t even matter.

58 shares on TikTok this month:

The guy who drills the holes so you can assemble IKEA furniture is clearly having problems at home.

38 shares on YouTube this month:

For Christmas, I’d like to figure it all out.

20 shares on YouTube this month:

Any day now, there will be a child born and named Labubu.

36 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sorry if my posts have any typos, it’s because I’m driving.

13 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I think during winter we should also get to work less hours in a day, just like the sun.

63 shares on X this month:

Old people understand Roman numerals. I for one.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The older you get, the farther away your toenails are when they need a trim.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Leave me alone, man. I’m just living my life like a candle in the wind.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I lost my job at NASA Mission Control today. I misheard when they said, “It’s lunch time.”

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re thinking of becoming a parent, just imagine working 6,570 days straight without a day off.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Unpopular opinion: The moon is actually way more useful than the sun. Because the moon gives us light at night when it’s dark. The sun only gives us light during the day when it’s already bright.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re not happy single you won’t be happy married. Happiness comes from eating food, not from relationships.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel like a wildlife photographer when I spend hours trying to capture my teenager’s smile.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Being a woman is trying to guess what the hell is going on with your body three times a week.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve had 50 birthdays in a row without being arrested, which I’d say is an impressive streak!

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Having little kids is great because I love spending hundreds of dollars each week to feed my floor and my trash can.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,534

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Soft launching your call out the next day by telling everyone at work your stomach feels a little weird.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Controlling your anger at work is a job in itself.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Tattoos are a great convo starter. So as an introvert, I kinda regret getting them.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

The sheer audacity of life to ask anything of me today.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Everything’s under control. I just don’t know whose.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

It’s okay to admit you want my lips on yours.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Yes, my date did get up and leave during dinner, but luckily she hadn’t finished her food.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

If you fall asleep long enough, the steering wheel gives you a pillow.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Your fingers have fingertips, but your toes don’t have toetips. Yet, you can tiptoe but not tipfinger.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

All soups are gazpacho if you’re lazy enough.

Just shared via Telegram:

I must retire to my chambers about this.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I need someone to wring out my brain like a dishrag.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

That moment of panic when they invite you inside at the start of the birthday party you thought was a drop off.

Making waves on X:

No offense, fellas, we love compliments, but a compliment from another woman means just a little bit more.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Mothers be doing unnecessary housework and then get mad at you when they’re tired.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Buying groceries with no food stamps should boost your credit score.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I started my diet 2 hours ago, I’m glad that’s over.

Going bananas on Instagram:

I’m fighting for free speech. Mine, not yours, so be quiet.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

The single star on Texas’ flag is actually a review.

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