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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

They should combine the running of the bulls with Tour de France next year.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Kinda messed up that the government knows my birthday but never sends me a gift or anything.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

The opposite of “taking candy from a baby” is “putting sunscreen on a toddler.”

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

You gotta act cool, calm, and collected around liquid eyeliner because it can sense your fear.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

One of the worst ways to waste your youth is by being insecure.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

That awkward moment when someone gets angry at you for clicking a pen, but you have to click it one more time to use it.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

I used to have a great future in my past.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Public urination isn’t a crime if you do it in your pants.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

I hate that moment when you are tired and sleepy but as soon as you go to bed your body is like “just kidding.”

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

My idea of fun is watching something on the TV while I look at relevant Wikipedia articles on my phone.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,693

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Be the one that gets asked to remove the hockey mask, during a conference call, on Friday the 13th.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I need to find hobbies that don’t include my debit card.

Spotted on WeChat:

I have tasted sending long paragraphs, and I have tasted saying OK. I highly recommend saying OK.

Breaking via Messenger:

I’m naturally funny because my life is a joke.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

It’s all fun and games until your jeans no longer fit.

Live now on Messenger:

I’ve asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far no one has given me a straight answer.

Just shared via YouTube:

In a relationship with my heated car seat.

Breaking via Instagram:

My favorite thing to do is nothing, with no one.

Trending via TikTok:

Tech enthusiasts: My entire house is smart. Tech workers: The only piece of technology in my house is a printer, and I keep a gun next to it so I can shoot it if it makes a noise I don’t recognize.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

There is too much money in the world for me to be broke.

I’m like a candle: I’m cute, I smell nice, and there’s a pretty good chance I’ll set your curtains on fire if left unattended.

2 months ago

0

I’m like a candle: I’m cute, I smell nice, and there’s a pretty good chance I’ll set your curtains on fire if left unattended.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Watch out for this charming candle! 🕯️😄 Don't be fooled by the cuteness and pleasant aroma – there's a fiery side waiting to unleash chaos on your curtains! 🔥🔥🔥 Better keep an eye on this little troublemaker! 😜 #SafetyFirst"

candle, chance, charm, curtains, cute, danger, fire, good, humor, i, left, nice, personality, pretty, smell, unattended

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It’s the weekend, so naturally, I’m going to spend 48 hours doing nothing, and still be exhausted.

0

5 months ago

48, doing, doing nothing, exhausted, exhaustion, going, hours, humor, laziness, naturally, nothing, relaxation, spend, still, tiredness, weekend
Stop rushing in the morning. You’re starting your day in panic mode.

0

5 months ago

advice, day, humor, management, mode, morning, panic, rush, start, start day, starting, stop, stress, time, time management
I’m not here to make friends, just noise.

0

1 month ago

attitude, friend, friends, here, humor, just, noise, statement
The secret to my success is everywhere I go I wear a shirt that says STAFF on the back.

0

2 months ago

back, cleverness, confidence, everywhere, humor, i, identity, secret, shirt, staff, success, wear, workplace
The ideal girlfriend breaks your heart, so you go on to do great things.

0

2 months ago

breaks, girlfriend, great, growth, heart, heartbreak, humor, ideal, inspiration, love, motivation, relationships, resilience, things
Did you know there are people who go away for 3 days and only pack 3 days’ worth of clothing?

0

2 months ago

away, clothing, days, funny observation, humor, know, minimalism, observation, packing, people, short, short trip, travel, trip, vacation, worth

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on Instagram this month:

I am awake and ready to be disappointed.

21 shares on Twitch this month:

Is 27 a good age to leave everything you know and love, and start over?

29 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Men: Masters of multitasking – can watch sports, ignore laundry, and forget your birthday, all at once.

53 shares on X this month:

Sometimes there is no way to debug besides staring at the code until you become enlightened.

26 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sundries sounds like something grandma would call scandalous underwear.

58 shares on Pinterest this month:

This whole week could have been an email.

49 shares on TikTok this month:

Single, not sure how to mingle.

96 shares on Pinterest this month:

Remember those days when you missed school and you’d check the time and think, “They’re eating right now.”

64 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Thank God my pets can’t talk. They simply know too much.

17 shares on Discord this month:

Being a woman is wild. I just cried, cleaned the house, had a snack, had a bath, and now I’m fine.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Taking a Hooters waitress on a date to a different Hooters on her night off.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I like listening to music in languages I don’t speak because sometimes I just don’t wanna know what anybody is talking about.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop bothering me, or I will inform you of a behavioral pattern that is noticeable to other people, but I can tell you are not yet aware of.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

A babysitter is a teenager who acts like an adult while the adults go out to act like teenagers.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My parents told me Santa wasn’t real when I was 16. Jokes on them, because I’m at the mall right now, and guess who’s here.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Every Reddit relationship post is like “My husband dropped a big piano on my head and when I emerged from the rubble my teeth had been replaced by the keys. Am I in the wrong?”

25 folks are currently checking 👀

God knew I would be too powerful if I had conversation skills.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

You gotta ask people nowadays, are you single single, mad at your partner single, blocked single or single just in your head.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Why can’t people be tested like watermelons? You tap them on the head and find out whether they are normal or bad.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

My worst fear is dating someone who loves their ex like my exes love me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,323

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Everyone knows that Christmas is the celebration of the immaculate conception of Mariah Carey.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Middle children as adults still trying to get attention because the oldest is being dramatic and the younger child is getting away with everything.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Sounds like you are suffering from a lack of vitamin Me.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Tariff this, tariff that. When is somebody gonna tariff my clothes and kiss me?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you talk on speakerphone in public, everyone around you hates you.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

I love admitting when I’m wrong, because it gives me a break from always being right, like finally.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Dating is the process of meeting someone until you find out what’s wrong with them.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

The only thing I miss from my past is that flat stomach I had.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Show dominance by ending the year in bed.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

I get shy when my man stares at me for too long because what if he’s realizing I’m actually a lil ugly.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I need a six-month vacation twice a year.

Making waves on TikTok:

Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion.

Going viral on Snapchat:

If you knock down a policeman, they’ll get backup.

Making waves on WeChat:

If ads were a person, it would be that one neighbor who won’t stop talking to you at the most inconvenient of times.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I wish I was a cat, because the fatter you are, the more people like you.

Spotted on Messenger:

Anyone know how to create an Outlook rule that sends every email to junk, deletes it, blocks the sender, and sets my laptop on fire?

Seen just now on Facebook:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean it won’t be a good time.

Spotted on X:

I just turned on my car’s seat warmer to keep my burrito warm in case you wondered what I was up to.

Just landed via Telegram:

Any time I throw up, I stare at it like I’m getting a message from the past.

Live now on WeChat:

Always tell people different stories about yourself, so when they talk about you, they’ll argue.

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