Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

If stores want to accurately display clothes for people over 40, the mannequins should be laying on a couch.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Do you think they’re called cough drops because when you cough really hard they drop out of your mouth onto the floor?

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

To be clear, when I said I was looking for “growth,” I meant in salary, not in workload and stress levels.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Bob Ross could paint a forest in 10 minutes. I’ve been ‘working on myself’ for years, and I’m still unfinished.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Becoming a man doesn’t happen the first time you fight or make love. It happens the first time you see the gas bill and remind everyone that we aren’t trying to heat the outside.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

I took the road less traveled. Where am I?

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

I’m not saying I’ve aged like fine wine, but I am currently being stored in a dark place and avoiding sunlight at all costs.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

When it rains in New York, the train starts smelling like hamster.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

My neighbor told me he heard me having sex this morning. I was putting on my shoes.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

What if your dog one day just randomly said “Nobody is going to believe you” and never spoke again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,417

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

You should be allowed to miss work if you’re not feeling sexy.

Just shared via Telegram:

Getting mad at your hair is a whole different kind of angry.

Breaking via WeChat:

Imagine not sleeping with plushies. You guys are gonna get eaten by monsters.

Live now on TikTok:

Preparing for the apocalypse by becoming fluent in zombie.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Glory hole but for forehead kisses.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Pro Tip: Never make snow angels in a dog park.

Live now on Slack:

With great power comes the absolute certainty that you’ll turn into a right douche.

Making waves on Messenger:

Can’t wait for when we’re all in our 80’s and still tweeting.

Spotted on Reddit:

It’s hard dating someone who has been single for a long time. Any slight inconvenience, and they’ll crawl back into their peaceful abode. No stress.

Going viral on Instagram:

Calling a lobotomy a “lobobo” to fit in with Gen Z.

I’m ready for a new relationship. My past is buried in the backyard, to fertilize the tomatoes.

1 month ago

Witty quote about moving on, with a humorous take on past relationships and gardening.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like this person is taking the term "growing in a relationship" quite literally! 🍅🌱 Who knew heartbreak could be so nourishing for the garden? Talk about turning emotional baggage into literal fruits of labor! 🤣 #RelationshipGoals #LoveGrowsInMysteriousWays

backyard, beginnings, buried, fertilize, humor, new, new beginnings, past, ready, relationship, tomat

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on Discord this month:

Excuse me, can you direct me to the nonsense?

65 shares on Slack this month:

Ending my thesis paper with “but who cares what I think?”

99 shares on TikTok this month:

Just because I’m friendly doesn’t mean I like you. It just means that I’m not rude.

58 shares on Facebook this month:

“Easy like Sunday morning” is something people with no kids say.

39 shares on Threads this month:

Bro, did you seriously just forget about Dre?

47 shares on TikTok this month:

If you don’t like sports, you are missing a whole world of easy-going conversations with complete strangers.

50 shares on X this month:

Born to be a hater but forced to understand where you’re coming from.

88 shares on YouTube this month:

“Girls just want to have fun!” No, I want one million dollars cash.

47 shares on YouTube this month:

If we date and break up, you gotta unlearn all my lingo and cool shit that I taught you. You gotta go back to being lame.

41 shares on Instagram this month:

If you like true crime stories, I highly recommend the history of the Catholic Church.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody supports you like that one internet friend you’ve never met.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not religious, but if someone is turning water into wine, let’s take a second look.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

A burrito is just a sleeping bag for beans.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

We were supposed to have flying cars and other cool stuff, but instead we have AI videos showing Michael Jackson eat at McDonald’s.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s actually scary how your whole life depends on how well you did as a teenager.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Having an exorcism, but only because the demon requested it.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes my mouth hits send before my brain has a chance to stop it.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Gatekeeping how insanely handsome I am by looking like total shit all the time.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t have to remember details when you don’t lie.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Spent 20 minutes training ChatGPT to write the perfect anniversary note for my wife, so don’t try to tell me I’m not romantic.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,549

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

I have feelings for you but you have to guess which ones.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

God’s plan for me is super weird so far.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Pretty sure I need to go back to bed and sleep for 3 days.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Be the one that gets asked to remove the hockey mask, during a conference call, on Friday the 13th.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Men don’t eject their eyes from their sockets and yell awooga anymore.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

The sexual tension between me and buying more books.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Zelda was easier as a kid because if you hit a hard puzzle, you could just wait a few days for more brain matter to come in, but now it’s the opposite.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

“Are you seeing someone?” Like a hallucination, therapist, or a guy?

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Technically, all the money I have ever spent on food has been flushed down the toilet.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

I recently discovered “movies.” They’re usually like an hour and a half long, and a pretty good way to kill time. Check it out.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

When I say I love the ocean, I mean I love the surface. Whatever goes on beneath has my respect, but it’s none of my business.

Breaking via Discord:

Bison may look friend-shaped, but they already have all the friends they want. Keep your distance and don’t make it awkward.

Breaking via WeChat:

Mixing 1% milk and 2% milk to create the forbidden 1.72% milk.

Live now on Telegram:

If I ever find out who stole my identity, I’ll pay all their debts and ruin their credit score just for fun.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Me: This is my favorite. I would like to buy this exact same item of clothing again. The fashion industry: No.

Shared recently on Telegram:

You know it’s bad when people start telling you, you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

Just landed via Slack:

I’m probably like this because I drank water from the hose.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Can anyone recommend some good places for somebody just getting into visiting?

Seen just now on Discord:

Gatekeeping how insanely handsome I am by looking like total shit all the time.

Live now on YouTube:

Should I ever be mean and insulting, then it comes from the bottom of my heart.

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