I’m ready for a new relationship. My past is buried in the backyard, to fertilize the tomatoes.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Do not EVER text while driving. Please use the giant iPad attached to your dashboard.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

My workout goals are simple: I’d just like to be able to get up off the floor without looking like a turtle trying to flip itself back over.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

I get it, laundry, no one is doing me either.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Not to brag but I gave someone directions and he made it.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

“My family doesn’t have a black sheep,” I say, while everyone avoids eye contact.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Your opinions are not my business.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Googling what ASAP means, and having a panic attack.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

I never had kids because little kids see too many ghosts and that’s something I’d rather not know about.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Do animals have celebrities? Like, do birds all recognize that one bird who sings really well?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Due to unfortunate circumstances, things are no longer fergalicious nor bootylicious.