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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Time Magazine should have a Worst Person of the Year!

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Starting a new life today, bye.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Using my one phone call to call Santa.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Unpopular opinion: we really grew up in the best era to be a kid, and the worst era to be an adult.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Fifty shades of I miss you.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Friday the 13th used to mean something. Now every day is awful.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Wanted to report a YouTube video, but there is no option for “Cringe”, so I just picked “Terrorism”.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

According to my chocolate advent calendar, tomorrow is Christmas.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

I find pleasure in closing tabs in my wife’s brain. This worry… done. That task… complete.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

This is actually worse than Biff Tennan’s future.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,550

Funny Quotes Topics

16,782

Funny Quotes Images

14,550

Nov 27, 2025

4,034

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

If you have a pure heart, you can make pretty much any non-baking meal off just vibes and intuition.

Seen just now on Discord:

Introverts don’t recharge with sleep, we recharge by being left completely alone for 3–5 business days.

Spotted on Threads:

I used to think adulthood was one crisis after another. I was wrong. Multiple crises. Concurrently. All at once. All the time. Forever.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Apologies for the delays. The suitcase smashing machine has broken down, so we’re having to smash suitcases by hand.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Establish dominance by asking your dentist if he’s flossing everyday.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I’m seriously considering adoption. Who wants me?

Making waves on Telegram:

No, thanks—social drama. Puberty sucked enough the first time around.

Live now on Discord:

Sex is great, but have you ever started slowly picking up speed after sitting in a traffic jam?

Just landed via X:

It’s amazing how so many people can rave about Star Wars or Star Trek and at the same time make sure that the only realistic future prospect is Mad Max.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Dentist appointments are so weird. “Hi, nice to meet you, could you root around in my mouth for a bit?”

I’m rearranging the kitchen which is devastating for my husband because now suddenly he remembers where everything used to be.

3 weeks ago

I’m rearranging the kitchen which is devastating for my husband because now suddenly he remembers where everything used to be.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🤣💔 Oh, the chaos of kitchen rearrangements – a significant event husbands everywhere dread! It's like a culinary treasure hunt, except the prize is, well, finding the salt shaker in the spice cabinet. Hang in there, dear husband, your culinary quest just leveled up! 🍴🔍

devastating, everything, home, humor, husband, kitchen, memory, organization, rearranging, relationship, used, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,550

Funny Quotes Topics

16,782

Funny Quotes Images

14,550

Nov 27, 2025

4,032

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Cupid’s arrow should have just killed me instead.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Uninstalling Instagram can increase your IQ by 10%.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

With no training whatsoever, I took out myself and the other two people exiting the ski lift in one fell swoop.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

I don’t have to take this abuse from you; I’ve got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

It’s like 10,000 steps when all you need is a nap.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Why does it take 5-7 business days to refund my money when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out of my account?

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Meeting Beyoncé and telling her I loved her in Goldmember and mentioning nothing about her music career, just to see if it throws her off.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Free will: where you get to choose your own adventure … and regret it.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Adulthood is about being able to eat cookies for breakfast, but not doing it because you already ate all the cookies.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

38% of being a dad is sitting in a car, looking at your watch, and waiting for everybody else to come out.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Next time I die, I’m going to make sure I’m reincarnated someplace other than Earth.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Two words have helped me open a lot of doors in my life. Push and Pull.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

If I say goodnight and an hour later you see me online, it’s not that I lied; it’s just that I failed.

Just landed via Instagram:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my daughter 3 months ago, where would you be hiding?

Breaking via TikTok:

Job applications are so stupid. “What’s your desired salary?” Ten billion dollars. Next question.

Just shared via YouTube:

Part of fatherhood is becoming an expert in some obscure topic and teaching it to your children who stopped listening 30 minutes ago.

Going viral on Discord:

If you’re cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and continue to participate in family game night.

Breaking via Telegram:

I don’t wanna party like it’s 1999, I want to pay my bills like it’s 1999.

Just landed via Threads:

These cannot be the same knees that used to get low in heels at the club.

Seen just now on Threads:

Some of these fake tans look like an old Tupperware container that’s had marinara sauce in it.

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