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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Work meetings would be a lot more fun if they took place in a giant IKEA ball pit.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

I hate how everything is organic now. I miss chemicals.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

You can’t keep running away from your problems, you’re getting older and your kids are getting faster.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

I can’t wait until I’m old enough to pretend I can’t hear.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Hold on, I just need to take off my glasses and put my face in my hands about it first.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

The main cause of immigration is we’re still a country where people want to go, but we’re working on fixing that.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

The most unrealistic part of cooking shows is when they have enough room in their fridge to fit an entire baking sheet.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

I love when people find out I meant every word I said.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

According to this box of macaroni and cheese, I am an entire family.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Sex is so embarrassing. Like, why did I want to do that to you?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Jan 11, 2026

3,297

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

I hate it when I imagine how a conversation will go and then in the actual conversation the person goes off script. That’s not your line, man.

Freshly posted on X:

According to my chocolate advent calendar, there are only 4 days until Christmas.

Seen just now on Facebook:

As parents we have to make sacrifices all the time. Today, I had to eat my kid’s ice cream because she couldn’t finish it.

Freshly posted on X:

Every day, I go to work and draw a little tick on everyone who didn’t say goodbye to me the day before.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Drink coffee, avoid idiots, read books and repeat.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Being a serial killer is much like being a comedian, in that you either hit it big and get your own Netflix special, or you spend eternity popping up on shitty podcasts.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I was gonna kiss you under the blood moon eclipse, but whatever, bro.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Don’t forget to overestimate your importance today.

Making waves on YouTube:

People keep wishing January was over like the worst month of the year isn’t coming up next. Thats like wishing someone would stop arguing with you and just punch you in the face.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Anyone know how to create an Outlook rule that sends every email to junk, deletes it, blocks the sender, and sets my laptop on fire?

I’m rearranging the kitchen which is devastating for my husband because now suddenly he remembers where everything used to be.

2 months ago

I’m rearranging the kitchen which is devastating for my husband because now suddenly he remembers where everything used to be.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🤣💔 Oh, the chaos of kitchen rearrangements – a significant event husbands everywhere dread! It's like a culinary treasure hunt, except the prize is, well, finding the salt shaker in the spice cabinet. Hang in there, dear husband, your culinary quest just leveled up! 🍴🔍

devastating, everything, home, humor, husband, kitchen, memory, organization, rearranging, relationship, used, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Pilot is one of the few jobs where you can get fired for going above and beyond.

2 months ago

above, aviation, beyond, fired, firing, going, going above and beyond, humor, job, jobs, pilot, profession, where, workplace
Beds are always the coziest when it’s time to get up and you don’t want to.

2 months ago

always, bed, beds, comfort, cozy, morning, reluctance, sleep, time, wake, wake up, want
Rewatching Avengers: Age of Ultron. Despite the title, they never tell you how old Ultron is.

1 week ago

age, Age of Ultron, Avengers, film, humor, joke, movie, never, old, rewatching, superhero, tell, title, Ultron
I always take two stairs at a time, that way if I fall, it’s only half the distance.

2 months ago

advice, always, distance, fall, humor, i, life, life advice, risk, safety, stairs, take, time
Gonna start using “with all dude respect”.

2 months ago

dude, humor, language, respect, sarcasm, start
When you try to be humble and say it’s no big deal and they agree with you.

2 months ago

agree, big, deal, humble, humor, interaction, irony, modesty, no big deal, say, self-deprecation, social, social interaction, try

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on Messenger this month:

Every millennial is now paying Apple $9.99/month for 2TB just to not delete their life.

23 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My only regret is not leaving people alone the first time they moved funny.

78 shares on TikTok this month:

Some of you have overdosed so hard on the propaganda, there’s nothing reality Narcan can do for you.

78 shares on X this month:

I’ve cut my fingernails too short and now I can’t open my shower gel. What’s the point of being well-groomed if I can’t smell like mangos?

75 shares on TikTok this month:

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a break after sending one email.

72 shares on Facebook this month:

Sleeping nakey nakey nakey just in case Santa wants a different type of cookie tonight.

13 shares on Slack this month:

With all the fake information out there, I refuse to believe scales or mirrors.

24 shares on Threads this month:

Sisters are so important. How else would my mom find out all the stuff I didn’t want her to know.

46 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I need a room full of mirrors, so I can be surrounded by losers.

16 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m sorry I mistook all our laughs, long nights, sweet texts, and inside jokes as you caring. I’ll think twice before wasting my time again.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren’t happy.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Controlling your anger at work is a job in itself.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t forget to make everything about you today.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a tweet or a close friends story.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I love cutting off Teslas. Like you may not let me merge over but your car sure as hell will.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Let’s ruin each other’s sleep schedules and call it romance.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

A tip for your next salary negotiation: simply tell your boss “either I get a pay rise or I go out and tell everyone I got one!”

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The way turkeys feel about November is probably how treadmills feel about January.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Marriages are like pancakes. Sometimes you gotta throw the first one out.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Being sober would be a lot easier if I liked myself.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,381

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

I see why history can repeat itself. People are really stupid.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Those 8 hours at work go by quickly when you call off.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

I keep all my valuables near the front door so if burglars breaks in during the night they will not wake me up.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Maybe dogs are smarter than us because they found a way to get fed and housed without having to go to college and get a job.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Is it stupid and irresponsible? Yes. Will it make me happy? Also yes.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

My brain has too many tabs open.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

It’s like 10,000 Tupperwares when all you need is a lid.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

I used to think adulthood was one crisis after another. I was wrong. Multiple crises. Concurrently. All at once. All the time. Forever.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

If someone asks you if you’re in the queue, what they actually mean is “you’re really shit at queuing, aren’t you?”

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Using my invisible hula hoop really freaks people out.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

Starting tomorrow whatever life throws at me, I’m ducking so it hits someone else.

Making waves on Facebook:

The hottest thing a man can do is exactly what he said he was going to.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here talking baby talk to my plants.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

You’re no Sultan of Swing, buddy, you’re hardly a Governor of Groove.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Sometimes a little rudeness to establish that you don’t fancy nonsense is really important.

Going viral on Instagram:

I will improve my life after I doom scroll a little more. Yes.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Fyi, if you like listening to “rain sounds,” they’re almost all recordings of chicken being fried.

Going bananas on Threads:

I’m an adult in the same way that Katy Perry is an astronaut.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I’m not getting fatter. I’m increasing my content.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Anytime someone comments on my weight, I try to ignore them and keep my chins up.

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