Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Imagine the plot twist of the century when your parents reveal their secret millionaire status 🤑💸 Until then, humility and patience are the name of the game! 🕰️😄 #KeepingItReal"

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65 shares on Messenger this month:

I’ve got nothing against kids, I just don’t understand why you’d want indoor kids.

73 shares on X this month:

Accidentally turned my clocks back too far and ended up at a Wham concert.

59 shares on Reddit this month:

If Halloween is over, then why am I still scared?

81 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’ve learned two important things in life, I can’t remember the first one, but the second one is to write everything down.

44 shares on Slack this month:

The real reason for global warming is that today’s young people are nowhere near as cool as we were back then.

94 shares on Snapchat this month:

I would like to see the USA go metric before I die, just so I can enjoy the outrage that would follow.

59 shares on Messenger this month:

Don’t worry, guys. Together we can eliminate logic and reason on social media. I see some of you are already ahead of the game. Way to go!

74 shares on Twitch this month:

No one trashes your name better than the person who is terrified that you are going to tell people the truth.

82 shares on Slack this month:

AI won’t replace me because I’m already useless to society.

13 shares on WeChat this month:

You can just enjoy kombucha. You don’t need to go on a tirade about cleansing your gut.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Enjoy it now because you’re only going to get older and fatter.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

You know it’s cold outside when you go outside and it’s cold.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Why is it that your clothes only get caught on the door handle when you’re in a bad mood?

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

My OnlyFans is just me loading the dishwasher correctly.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

When you think about it, Jesus really accomplished a lot in the four months between Christmas and Easter.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

I love when people find out I meant every word I said.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

“Is this a joke to you?” Unfortunately, everything is a little bit of a joke to me.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

I bet this email finds you silently screaming on the inside.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

I purposely overcook my holiday turkeys so I don’t have to hear anyone at the table say, “moist.”

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

I’ve mastered farting, and it be loud and quick, but the key is don’t make a face or look around, so people can’t pinpoint it to you. Just act natural.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

My ex said I had commitment issues but this giant jar of Nutella says otherwise.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I got my patience from waiting half the day to download a song from Limewire.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Haggis – the meal you have to stomach twice.

Just shared via Messenger:

I never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

A haunted house but in every room someone is asking you to say a little something about yourself.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Asking a film guy, “Who is that?” when Tom Cruise comes on screen just to feel something.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

“It’s the most wonderful crime of the year!” I crooned running away with the pot of Santa’s donations.

Breaking via Threads:

Congrats to my tween for graduating at the top of his class from eye roll university.

Shared recently on Discord:

Aliens: We are here to take over. Me: Thank God.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

The Bachelor is like “Meet Savannah from Brooklyn, Madison from Savannah, Brooklyn from Madison”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m still waiting for the day my parents will say, “It’s all fake, we are millionaires, this was just to teach you to be humble”.

Elevator rides in real life: 30 seconds long. Elevator rides in movies: Two minutes long.

The subtle art of surviving this life with grace and dignity.

If the first thing you do in the morning is checking your emails, you’re starting your day with other people’s problems.

Home Depot should allow men over 40 to have birthday parties in their stores.

There is no bigger day for microwaves than the 26th day of December. This is their Olympics.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m still waiting for the day my parents will say, “It’s all fake, we are millionaires, this was just to teach you to be humble”.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Three words no parent ever wants to hear when dropping their kid at a play date: “Come on in.”

Elevator rides in real life: 30 seconds long. Elevator rides in movies: Two minutes long.

The subtle art of surviving this life with grace and dignity.

If the first thing you do in the morning is checking your emails, you’re starting your day with other people’s problems.

Home Depot should allow men over 40 to have birthday parties in their stores.

There is no bigger day for microwaves than the 26th day of December. This is their Olympics.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨