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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up; we had to manually roll up our cars’ windows.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Yes officer, I’d like to file a restraining order against my dentist’s appointment reminder system.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Bone broth? Oh, you mean skeleton soup.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

“This was on sale!” is why I’m always broke.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Live, laugh, lie to the doctor about how many drinks you have per week.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

I took some free community martial arts lessons for self-defense, but I’m starting to think Tai Chi is too slow for most muggers.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

The lion doesn’t concern himself with credit card debt.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

All quiet on the frontal lobe.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Nobody told me that when you get a husband the ears are sold separately.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Stop using ChatGPT. I can feed you misinformation too and I’m also beautiful and funny sometimes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,504

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Threads:

I’m eating sandwiches you haven’t heard of in jeans you can’t pronounce.

Going viral on Telegram:

The older I get, the more I understand why Grumpy Old Men exist.

Just landed via WeChat:

I never get as envious of parents as I do when their baby starts crying and they get to leave the event.

Live now on TikTok:

Why didn’t Scooby Doo smell that the ghosts were human?

Spotted on Pinterest:

If you like true crime stories, I highly recommend the history of the Catholic Church.

Making waves on Slack:

I get all the cardio I need by running out of patience.

Shared recently on Threads:

Petition to make weekends longer. Two days isn’t enough.

Spotted on Telegram:

The gap in my resume? Yeah, it’s called playing outside.

Just landed via Telegram:

Have we checked all food to see if exploding it makes it into something better or did we just stop with corn?

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I wish I could physically experience the inside of a lava lamp.

I’m very loyal to whatever brand is on sale.

Funny quote about brand loyalty, featuring playful, witty text on a bold background.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"I'm as loyal as a bargain hunter in a clearance sale! 🛍️💸 Who needs brand loyalty when you’ve got discounts and savings on your side? 😄 #ThriftyShopperGoals"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Slack this month:

Having Twitter is just like reading the newspaper, except the newspaper is on fire and all the writers hate you.

56 shares on Reddit this month:

Always be kind. You never know who has a pool.

99 shares on YouTube this month:

I wonder if this next thunderstorm is thinking of me, too.

46 shares on Threads this month:

Nothing good happens on the credit card after midnight.

43 shares on Telegram this month:

I need an app that deletes my number from other people’s phones.

68 shares on WeChat this month:

Being gracefully unhinged is the only way to get through the everyday bullshit.

78 shares on Instagram this month:

The sexual tension between me and vanishing without context is insane.

26 shares on Slack this month:

Every man learns for himself the uselessness of owning an iPad.

86 shares on Slack this month:

I’m not super into getting older but I do like how nobody asks me to help them move anymore.

27 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I hope the aliens aren’t good at basketball. My chances of making it into the NBA are already slim.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The walk of shame, except it’s me at a bowling alley walking back to sit down after I knock down zero pins with bumpers.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The Midwest urge to have a drink on a patio as soon as it’s nice out.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Young witches boil every cauldron on high.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I think it’s extremely important, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Quitting my job to focus more on my desire not to work anymore.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Born to be a hater but forced to understand where you’re coming from.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Moment of silence for those who received mugs that aren’t microwave- and dishwasher-safe.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Being silly is very important for my mental health.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Politics top tip: Gain people’s trust by telling them that everyone is lying to them.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you think birds, once they get older, start people-watching?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,670

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Fun fact: sexual tension is more fun than the sex itself.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Vanilla perfumes are so nice. It’s like walking into a bakery but you are the bakery.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Every day is a D-Day, if you’re a stutterer.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Is my life this bad because I didn’t forward that email to 15 people back in 2007?

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

My favorite emails are the ones that say your order has shipped.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Commenting “Obviously AI” on pictures of happy couples.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

What’s the best job for someone who cries very easily and cannot handle any criticism?

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

The way time stretches between the moment you put your hands under the air dryer and the realization it is in fact a paper towel dispenser.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

I’ve done literally nothing all day, except feel guilty about doing nothing all day.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

All these years on the internet we have been working for artificial intelligence.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

ASAP (as sapphic as possible).

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I start off my mornings with coffee and low expectations.

Breaking via Slack:

I love how bananas just take over the whole smoothie. You can never dim her light.

Just shared via Instagram:

Sorry, I’m late. I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Whoever named them fitting rooms has a lot of nerve.

Making waves on X:

Explain it to me like I’m 5 drinks in.

Seen just now on Slack:

Whoever invented the “skip intro” button really understood humans.

Live now on Discord:

If you drink a lot of water, you won’t have time for other people’s drama because you’ll be too busy looking for a bathroom.

Just shared via TikTok:

My favorite part about talking to my teens is when they give me direct eye contact, listen intently, nod understandingly and then do the exact opposite of what I just said.

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