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Icarus loved hot wings.

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Blood pressure too high to chase these hoes.

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“You are what you eat”. I don’t remember eating a huge disappointment.

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A vibrator is amazing but it doesn’t call me “good girl” unfortunately.

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The husband, child, and dog are all snoring. WTF is this?

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People don’t realize how hard you ride for them until you park.

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I only write when I am falling in love, or falling apart.

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You know it’s a fancy restaurant when you have to point at what you want on the menu because you can’t pronounce the name.

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I’m so sick of these little 30-minute weekends.

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I like my money where I can see it: hanging in my closet.