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Commentary:
"Ah, that explains the sudden increase in mirror usage around here! 🌟💁‍♀️ Looks like the confidence levels are through the roof today! Embrace your fabulousness, darling! 💃🎉 #BeautyQueen"

affirmation, beautiful, confidence, humor, positivity, self-love, today

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Telling a child not to touch something only ensures that child is definitely now going to touch that something.

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2 months ago

advice, behavior, child, curiosity, going, parenting, rules, something, temptation, touch
Keep moving, lady, I don’t have room for you in my delusions right now.

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6 months ago

attitude, delusion, humor, i, keep, lady, movement, moving, right, room, sarcasm, space
It sucks that brainwashing is a bad thing, because generally speaking the idea of washing my brain sounds so nice.

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2 months ago

bad, bad thing, brain, brainwashing, funny thought, humor, idea, irony, nice, sounds, speaking, sucks, thing, thought, washing
Why do my kids have Veteran’s Day off, they haven’t done shit.

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2 months ago

day, day off, done, holiday, humor, kids, parenting, sarcasm, shit, veteran’s, Veteran’s Day, work
Perhaps moths don’t seek the light, but are simply fleeing the darkness.

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6 months ago

darkness, humor, light, metaphor, moth, perspective, seek, simply
The agony of thinking you’re finished doing the dishes, only to turn around and, to your horror, the pot.

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2 months ago

agony, around, chore, cleaning, dish, dishes, doing, domestic, finished, frustration, horror, household, humor, kitchen, only, pot, relatable, surprise, thinking, turn

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on WeChat this month:

All soups are gazpacho if you’re lazy enough.

58 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.

100 shares on Messenger this month:

Opening up to a woman is like talking to the police, anything you say can and will be used against you.

29 shares on WeChat this month:

I need new friends. The old ones know too much.

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

Does anyone know how to lower the difficulty setting on my life?

76 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Every email sent to me should end with ‘but if your tummy is hurting, don’t worry about it.’

43 shares on WeChat this month:

Follow your dreams – ideally in a field that will still require humans when you graduate.

72 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you’re soft, don’t come to my house, cause my kids will roast you.

100 shares on Facebook this month:

If life has taught me one thing, it’s that I need more money.

39 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m sorry for setting the impossible standards that the rest of you try to live up to.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

My only chance at a big house in the country is if I become a rescue dog.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

I’m growing a mullet so no one will want to hangout with me.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Work is the worst video game ever.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I’m late. Time isn’t real, and I’m not convinced I am either.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

It’s all fun and games until your jeans don’t fit any more.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Men tell you “I know a place” and bring you to the brink of madness.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Haircuts should be covered by insurance.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Never say never. Unless someone asks you when you want to go camping. Then the right answer is always “Never.”

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

After all these years, Jude Law has finally noticed me and responded to my love letters. Something about staying 500 feet away. I’m getting it framed.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Headed to a wedding but my wife said I’m not allowed to refer to the bride as ‘the veiled threat.’

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

Do you remember when you looked through binoculars upside down and everyone was really far away? That was nice.

Making waves on Slack:

Really just want to meet someone who knows what songs not to talk over.

Seen just now on X:

Asking him what his favorite dinosaur is on the first date to determine compatibility.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

80 percent of my life now is just “hmmmm… should I bring my jacket or not?”

Spotted on Facebook:

I like to put “No DMs” in my bio to pretend that I’m attractive.

Making waves on X:

“The Nightmare Before Christmas” just means, January 1st – December 24th.

Trending via Instagram:

I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.

Going bananas on Slack:

If your family starts fighting on Thanksgiving, go live.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Humanity doesn’t always make a compelling case for its continued existence.

Just landed via YouTube:

As long as I can dip something in something, I’m happy.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

In case no one told you today. I’m beautiful.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Telling a child not to touch something only ensures that child is definitely now going to touch that something.

Keep moving, lady, I don’t have room for you in my delusions right now.

It sucks that brainwashing is a bad thing, because generally speaking the idea of washing my brain sounds so nice.

Why do my kids have Veteran’s Day off, they haven’t done shit.

Perhaps moths don’t seek the light, but are simply fleeing the darkness.

The agony of thinking you’re finished doing the dishes, only to turn around and, to your horror, the pot.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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