Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • First caveman to see fire: Well, this is a buncha bullshit that no one needs (stomps it out) and I predict that’s the last I’ll ever see of that.
  • Not to brag but I can chop an onion without crying. And I can cry without chopping an onion.
  • Are you coming to the party? There will be noise and lights but I found a corner for us to hide.
  • A general rule of parenting: if you’re having a great day, the day isn’t old enough yet.
  • Anytime someone throws a Great Gatsby themed party, I have to assume they never finished the book.
  • Another Monday that no one asked for.