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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

The plan was simple: finish school, find a job and get married at 25. But now I don’t understand anything anymore.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Bacon should be free for anyone having a bad day.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

I’m perfectly approachable as long as you’re carrying a plate of nachos.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is realizing that the other person is completely stupid.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Yesterday, I went to the grocery store, and I managed to come home without any junk food. Now, I’m mad that we don’t have any junk food.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Damn, didn’t win the lottery. It’s messing up my budget plan.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing ‘k’ instead of ‘ok’?

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Cows are very calm, considering the whole floor is food to them.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

“Stop talking about old drama!” God forbid a girl and her bestie enjoy their history lessons.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Seriously? I came out of hibernation for this?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

53 minutes ago

3,438

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on TikTok:

There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them.

Breaking via Twitch:

I’ve realized that some people don’t like me, but I’ve also realized that I don’t give a shit.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Some people are storms dressed like sunsets. Beautiful from a distance. Dangerous up close.

Trending via Instagram:

The most I’ve ever spent on a bottle of wine is about 45 minutes.

Seen just now on Threads:

I’ve skipped midlife crisis and gone straight to birdwatching.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Deleting the paragraph you wrote and texting back “ok” is a different type of self-control.

Trending via Instagram:

According to my chocolate advent calendar, tomorrow is Christmas.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I love airports because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.

Seen just now on Messenger:

The rainforest cafe won’t be authentic enough for me if they don’t bulldoze 40% of the restaurant while I’m there.

Shared recently on Slack:

The eyes are the windows to the soul. A mustache is the front garden, and the mouth is that big pothole the council should do something about.

I’ve decided to give people an attitude instead of gifts this year.

5 months ago

I’ve decided to give people an attitude instead of gifts this year.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like someone’s bringing the sass instead of sugar this holiday season! 😏🎁 Who needs presents when you can gift people a strong attitude, am I right? Just be sure that attitude is fully wrapped and comes with a bow for that extra flair! 🎀😂 #AttitudeOverGifts"

attitude, gift, gifts, give, holidays, humor, people, personality, sarcasm, year

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

53 minutes ago

3,429

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

If I had just one hour left to live, I’d spend it in Math class… it never ends.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

The most important thing I learned in life, and I can’t stress enough, it doesn’t matter where you went to college. The only thing that matters is that you’re really hot.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Some days you’re the shit and some days you’re the fan.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Some of you are still single because, when someone sends you romantic words, you reply with “hahaha.”

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk calmly to the lock. We all know that communication is the key.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

What was the main bloke called in Harry Potter?

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Genies are a myth perpetuated by creepy lamps who just want to get rubbed more.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Sometimes people just need you to be genuine with them, and I personally have no problem pretending to do that.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

For whom the doom scrolls!

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Me: This show is really boring. Boss: Again, this a zoom conference.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Don’t donate your plasma. It’s a big scam and they’re just using it to make TVs.

Spotted on Reddit:

Kid, I have jeans older than you.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I’m not drinking 2% milk until we figure out what the other 98% is.

Just shared via WeChat:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” is not a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Yeah, I’ll get up soon, I just need to look at the internet first. Yes, the whole thing.

Spotted on YouTube:

Driving between speed cameras is called intermittent fasting.

Breaking via Messenger:

I’m only dead on the outside.

Broadcasted on X:

At my next job, I’m gonna lie about having a kid so I can leave the office anytime I want like everyone else with children.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Don’t forget to tell yourself more lies today.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

“I’m not falling for that again,” I say, as I’m about to fall for whatever that is again.

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